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Thank you EMMess for your kind words. They do help. smile All of your (everyones) support means the world to me.

I will look into the books you suggested because I do want to work on my self-respect and confidence.

Also could a mod link my old thread here. I can't really do it on my old as dirt phone. :P


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Sorgan Offline OP
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Oh my heavens. Thank you EMMess for your suggestion of reading No More Mr Nice guy. It really has opened my eyes just in the little I have read. Everything in there seems to fit me to a T. I am going to try to take the words to heart and work on meeting my own needs. Because no one else will.


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Sorgan my friend. I am glad to hear that NMMNG is something that is resonating with you. It has helped many man here on their road to finding themselves and loving themselves. Continue down this path, become the Sorgan you envision being. Continue to GAL, to detach, create boundaries, give love and compassion but don't allow anyone to walk over you. You deserve love and compassion as well.

God Bless.


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I am planning on continuing this path. I realized that I have made unwritten contracts and not taken care of my needs for FAR too long. I also am realizing that fear has gripped my actions in all of this since BD. I was afraid of losing my W and kids. I was afraid I couldn't make it with out my W.

It is a process to change ones whole mindset and while the fear is there I know I need to push through it to be the best Sorgan I can be. I am not sure how my sich is going to turn out, but I am not going to let fear rule my life.


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That is great to hear!


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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This is so great to hear. You are taking some great (although scary) steps my friend.

"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do."
Henry Ford

Keep moving forward as Walt Disney once said.


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Today has been good so far. I limited me texts to my W. I asked of she wanted to go out with the kids my mother, and myself for my birthday dinner on Sunday. Didn't get a response so that was pretty sad but I made it through without pestering her. I went and got my haircut after work the first time been 6 months. So I'm feeling better about myself. I will post more before I go to bed. smile


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Those are great things my friend! Keep it up! Small consistent changes. This isn't about her right now, it's about you. Love yourself, respect yourself, cats for yourself. She will eventually notice, but this, you are doing for you not her.


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Care for yourself *


M: 34 W: 33
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Sorgan Offline OP
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I realized reading through NMMNG That no one will meet my needs but me and that my needs are important. I'm actually almost finished the book, And plan on rereading it later.

But I have noticed a dynamic change in how I act around my wife since reading through it. And hopefully I can have the strength to keep itoff that way. I no longer care what she does it is her decision and I can't control her I can only control me. She has noticed my distance thing and has begun pursuing me. Nothing major, but it's still a change even from just a couple days ago.

I plan on picking up the other book you suggested EMMess Tomorrow, And starting to read it. It is amazing how much free time you can find when you don't spend it all on video games. Lol


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