The next step has been taken. I filed for divorce last week. I let W know the same day. We told the kids this past weekend. The kids were not shocked. Our daughter at first said it was sort of a relief given how much tension has been in the house. Then tears began as she realized her family was splitting up. Our son was quiet with a very stern and angry look. He didn't say much.
W let me do the talking and we explained that we both loved them and there was still a lot to work through. Within 30 minutes we were having good conversations with the kids. They asked good questions and we were even able to joke around a bit. There is still a long journey to go but for now, we're doing OK.
W is stressed but being cooperative at this point. We have talked through the parenting plan already. Hard talk but productive.
We have a house to sell and W needs to find a job so this is the start of at least 6 months of processing. I have 2 weddings this summer on my side of the family. W plans to go with us still. our family's both know now. But they are fine with her coming. I've received texts from most of my in-laws expressing their sadness and support.
Outside of the parenting plan, W has only asked about the grounds for divorce. I filed "irreconcilable differences" - no details. She asked that it stay that way and that we keep the details out of court records so the kids can't see it all. She asked that we keep it "clean and simple". I agreed.
So lots to work through but a major step is completed. In an odd way, there is a feeling of relief to have it out in the open. There's also moments of guilt and questions of whether or not I did enough. But when I look back, it is obvious that she is unwilling to be part of a healthy marriage. Her idea was that we stay "married" but live separate lives. The kids obviously knew things were wrong by their reaction to the news. So the guilt did not last long. But again, still a long road from here.
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
