Yeah, I guess I did answer that... These "down days" are just as brutal as they were in the beginning though! I am honestly at the point that I wish I could forget about her and scrounge up what little dignity I have left. This is a position I (and I'm sure all here) never saw myself being in.
I want so bad to have my family under one roof, to go to the park, bike rides, hang out on the deck and love each other. It just all seems so hopeless right now.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I'm not sure if tonight's S4 swap was a good or bad thing? I pulled in and almost immediately XF asked me if I had time to think about the proposed change in custody schedule. I said yes I have, but I don't think it is in S4's best interest to keep changing things without any good reason. It seems that every time everybody gets used to a schedule she wants to change it.
This was met with an attitude, so I asked if there was a specific reason that it had to be changed that I may not be aware of? She replied with, can't you just cooperate for once? And rambled on about how I'm trying to make her life miserable. I said, I'm not trying to make anybody's life miserable. I'm trying to look out for everybody's best interest, mainly S4. That was followed by mumbling which I couldn't understand. At that point I said, in a stern voice, I don't know what you want from me? Everything about this whole situation has been about what XF wants. Not S4. Not me. It's time I stand up for our child and stop this circus act you are conducting. I also told her that it seems like she is trying to change the schedule to see how much I will bend. I have not batted an eye about making the schedule work for all of us before and I won't now, but without reason to change I will not.
I may have hurt my cause a bit but this is getting out of control. I have to draw the line somewhere...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Any thought on this interaction? It's honestly not like me to "stand up for myself" against XF... I just feel like she's pushing me to see how much she can manipulate all the little details of our situation?
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Any thought on this interaction? It's honestly not like me to "stand up for myself" against XF... I just feel like she's pushing me to see how much she can manipulate all the little details of our situation?
Looks OK to me. Just make sure that you are looking out for S4, and both of your relationships with him and not trying to be difficult just to be difficult. If she has a good reason for the change, then youre willing to negotiate so that everyone is OK with the result.
I'm not trying to be difficult, XF has no logical reason to switch the schedule other than "it's what she wants". If it was a work conflict or anything like that I would be more than willing...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I really wish XF had a better relationship with my parents. On days she has S4 I meet her to get him and take him for my mom to watch him while we are at work. Same thing after work...
It just makes it tough seeing her twice a day, every day that she has S4. I feel like seeing her so often not only pulls on my heart strings, it also doesn't let her see what life is like without me?
I will continue to do it though, my mom is the only "constant" thing S4 has right now. That is the only part of his life that has not been turned upside down. He needs that! Also the other people available to her that would watch him on days with her are less than desirable for him to be around...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
So I just realized a few minutes ago that it has been over 3 months since XF moved out not sure how I feel about that? Initially I though a few days or a week would pass and she would come home. Now 3 months later it's the same as it was then...
On a different note, I saw an old buddy of mine today, he informed me that his wife left him within a week of when XF did. She called last week and asked to come home. He moved her back in Friday!?!? I must have looked like I saw a ghost when he said he took her back so easily!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Really missing XF today I wish all this was a bad dream and I could wake up!
Looking forward to getting off work and finding something fun for S4 and myself to do tonight. That's my motivation for today to keep pushing through...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
So, I just remembered I had dreams the past 2 nights. I'm not really a dreamer and when I do I usually don't remember much from them.
2 nights ago, my dad, my uncle (who passed almost a year ago) and myself were working on a project. XF showed up crying and ran towards me for a hug. From there next I remember the four of us are eating at a restaurant talking about how silly this situation was and how to make it go away.
Last night, XF called me in the middle of he night. Again crying and asking if she could come talk. I said sure and she came over, spilling her heart out about how she made bad choices...
Maybe that is why I'm feeling the way I am today?
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
not sure how I feel about that? Initially I though a few days or a week would pass and she would come home. Now 3 months later it's the same as it was then...