Still DB'ing - Still Learning from WAW (6)

[JellyB]

Hey PP, just wanted to say thank you for popping by my place, your kind words, lifted my spirit.


Light and love

JellyBxxx

You're more than welcome Jelly B, I hope you've decided against purposeful spinsterhood and are continuing to wait for the lucky man who will realize just how much you bring to the table.

Thank you for your light and love.

PP

Hey PP,

Purposeful spinisterhood sounds so much more regal and astute than crazy cat lady.

Note I am allergic to cats, so my cats would need to be imaginary, thus I would infact be the Crazy Lady with the imaginary cats.

PS: Do you have these women where you live or is this just a Kiwi(New Zealand) pheonomonon?

Thank you for the hug too PP

Cheers JellyB xxx

[SunnyB]

JB, there are crazy cat ladies everywhere. I think I'm in the running for that, too. I currently have three kids, two cats, one dog, and no H. As the kids grow up and leave, I think I'll just replace them with more cats...

[PigPen]

I have a strong feeling that both JellyB and SunnyB will not end up as cat ladies!

Both of you show so much darn strength, determination, and love on this forum for yourselves and all of us that I BELIEVE you will both end up head over heels in love again.

We all need time on here. Not just time for our sitch's but time for big healing. People ask me all the time why I'm not dating...because I'm not within a country mile of being ok with what happened first, then being ok by myself, THEN being ok sharing my life with someone else. That's time with a capital T.

Believe in yourselves ladies, believe in love, believe that there are good men out there who will recognize you both for who you are and celebrate you. Celebrate what you've had to overcome to get to where you are and to get to who you are. I believe it.

Have a great Wed DB'ers.

PP

[JellyB]

Oh SunnyB,

Your darling yourgest is a beautiful but likely prehormal 12 year old. You have some time to avoid the crazy cat lady status. Like PP, you are a catch, you are extraordinarily warm and really smart. I keep telling myself to dream the impossible dream...yes cue music in the back ground Ally McBeal styles (omg so showing my age!

Yes PP, I think time on my life settling my life is more of a priority than I think it is. It is sitting with the discomfort of that kinda does me in a bit.

Dear PP thank you for all your love and support. 8.41am Thurs NZ time here!

[PigPen]

Yes PP, I think time on my life settling my life is more of a priority than I think it is. It is sitting with the discomfort of that kinda does me in a bit.

There's a lot to be learned from sitting in the discomfort Jelly. There's a lesson in there somewhere and if we sit in it long enough, with an open heart, open mind, and often times a pen and paper, we can learn a lot.

I spent 6 months wondering if I was going to get served D papers any day. There was a lot of sitting in the fire. I hope to never have to go through something like that again, but also grew more in that time than at any point in my whole life. There's something to be said for it.

Embrace the discomfort and ask what it's there to teach you. Then attack the lesson with all of your considerable energy.

PP

[rd500]

Hi PP Just read through a few of your posts and you seem in a reasonably good place. Re the growth You're so right. It's a terrible time for us but it's how we choose to deal with it that's ours to control.

Thanks for your post on my thread , I appreciate it

Take care. Rd

[Elly4]

Hi PP! Sorry I haven't been on here, but I've been exhausted with my work load and my S.

I'm sorry you had a rough day at the beach. I totally get where you were coming from. There are just certain things that we're supposed to share with our spouses...or at least it has been that way, and then suddenly, sorry, no thank you.

Talk about a giant hole in our lives! I think someone mentioned on here about making sure that our GAL fulfills us, not just using up time. I try for that. I also sometimes get by literally minute by minute.

I hope today was great for you.

**hugs**
E

[PigPen]

Hi PP! Sorry I haven't been on here, but I've been exhausted with my work load and my S.

I'm sorry you had a rough day at the beach. I totally get where you were coming from. There are just certain things that we're supposed to share with our spouses...or at least it has been that way, and then suddenly, sorry, no thank you.

Talk about a giant hole in our lives! I think someone mentioned on here about making sure that our GAL fulfills us, not just using up time. I try for that. I also sometimes get by literally minute by minute.

I hope today was great for you.

**hugs**
E

No apology needed E. I still marvel at how all of you handle this with actual human children.

Seems like a lot of pain and suffering on the board today, everyone's sitch causing grief. I'm feeling it too just not sure why. I can't categorize it as depression, just a complete malaise and dissatisfaction. Like I'm underwater today, just not drowning.

There's so much amazement ahead of us but man does BD send us on an adventure into the pit of our emotions. I miss my W again something terribly and woke up this morning with the thought that I was the Thrown Away Spouse TAS instead of LBH. Not sure where the thought came from, maybe stemming from the fact that it's taking everything in my power not to reach out to my W on most days, where I mind read that she has no problem keeping a distance.

I hope we all find a little bit of light today. Stay strong DB'ers.

PP

[Elly4]

A bit of light would be nice. I think maybe it's the time of year. Shorter days, winter coming...who knows. It is so hard to detach. I still struggle with not picking up the phone.

May your day tomorrow be filled with light.

E

[PigPen]

A bit of light would be nice. I think maybe it's the time of year. Shorter days, winter coming...who knows. It is so hard to detach. I still struggle with not picking up the phone.

May your day tomorrow be filled with light.

E

Thank you E, so much. My days have been a bit cloudy lately, not sure why. Perhaps it's having my dog back and realizing how much I missed him over the past four months, and having that feeling stir up how much I miss my W and don't understand this process. I do understand it rationally, but don't in my heart.

It's Friday and already I'm steeling myself for the weekend. Against thoughts of what my W may be doing, who she's with, and if she's thinking of me. One three day weekend and I realize how much detaching there still is to do. I understand why people break down and just file for D's themselves or start a new relationship with someone else. The tiniest bit of hope that the DB process keeps can be challenging in itself. Detach, detach, detach.

That being said, I'm grateful for the hope as it's still a driving force to stay strong, stay sober, keep learning, and not give in to the dark archetypal pattern of divorce that seems so ready and willing to scoop us all up. I still see it with friends, and read about it elsewhere and do not want to be a part of that.

If there truly are lessons to be learned from pain, we're all learning them here. I know I am. If one of them is gratitude, that lesson is a big one.

Have a strong Friday DB'ers.

PP