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Wherever you will get the most support is best.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Irish M Offline OP
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I'm getting great support here , just thought MLC would be better place because of the similar cases and added help to me and others who read these

Hope you follow V if I move :-)


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 726
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Tomorrow I have mediation. 10 days ago my W told me she was finished with mediation and going the lawyer route.

I have already started the process of protecting my D's

I email the mediator asking if W has cancelled tomorrow's appointment.
She had not.

Do I go anyway? Maybe she is saying that she cancelled it so I don't go and it makes me look like I don't want an amicable separation.

I have he original message stating that she unhappy the way mediation is going and it's she's not getting what she deserves.

Mediation is free. Lawyers cost $$$$
Our pension plans are about equal.
House will be bought out by me if she accepts my offer otherwise we sell it and split the profit.

The D's we agreed initially that we would share custody 50/50 and I would pay her a certain child support

No alimony in my case paid to her

House furniture was separated already - no issue

The only thing that we will end up fighting in court about are the D's
She wants to get the child support and govt $

She will lose custody all together since she has abandoned them 100%
Also my D's are requesting I get full custody and W could see the girls every 2nd weekend if the D's wish it

Added question:

With the D's with me full time.
She is living the life of no kids, no stress that surrounds 2 teens

More time for her to be alone with OM

This will make their bond stronger . Will it hurt any chances of me and W getting back? Or will it just make her R with OM run it's course.

I am definitely not her go to guy. She has him for support




M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Originally Posted By: Irish M
I'm getting great support here , just thought MLC would be better place because of the similar cases and added help to me and others who read these

Hope you follow V if I move :-)


Of course, you have my support.

The most important thing is the safety and well being of your two Ds. In essence you are the stronger more stable parent.

WW is already gone and misbehaving. There is little you can do but look after you and your beautiful Ds. That tunnel has no cheese at all and WW will have to learn this. Will she solidify her R with this OM? Unknown? But very unlikely in the long term.

At the moment this WW is lost, to herself and to her family. She represents a poor role model for her daughters, but you and your very clear stance are the rock for these two teenagers.

They will have their own R with their mother, and WW has a lot of resolving to do when she finally looks in the mirror. So work on you and do that which is best for your family.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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i missed your question, my apologies, but go to the Mediators tomorrow, it's establishing a pattern for you. That's what I would do.

And a couple of hours in your life which might make a difference, plan a pleasant activity for yourself for afterwards, coffee and cheeeeeesecake for me, but you may prefer a wink Murphys.

If WW shows you are covered and if she doesn't then you have willingness and co-operation demonstrated.

Then follow through with an email or mail saying " I apologise that WW didn't show. The Mediation process is important to me. I am willing to continue with it. Please advise when you hear from WW" That can go in your D pack.

V



Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Irish M Offline OP
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D's got a text message this morning. From W. saying she misses them.

they got it this morning when i was at work. they chose no to answer it. I told them that she probably does miss them.

D-15 says" then she could at least ask how we are? or ask to see us.

they took is as W just stating she misses them. like she had a flash of them.. and poof.. it was over.

Tonight they are watching TV like not caring what W is doing or missing them. They are too anxious for school tomorrow.

Are their any other parents with teens here that were so hurt by the MLC's that they cut them off 100%. until the MLC's make a real effort to see them or apologize.?


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
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Irish,

You will just have to let your Ds work it through in their own time, and they will do so.

They have a loving wonderful dad and each other.

Just be open, validate they are upset, lend an ear. Just 'lovely D, I can see you are upset/hurt/disappointed and I am here.

Please no excuses for WW. No soothing as that comes across very badly, be honest, "dad is also disappointed for you D'

For your info I fostered kids, mainly teens and they are more resilient than you know and more sensible than you would think.

All children need is one very stable loving adult in their life, one who listens and hugs and holds the moral compass wit h boundaries. That's you dear one.

I did say hugs didn't I?

Even dads need hugs.

Good luck for tomorrow mediation, I am hoping WW is a no show, if she isn't then you know there is some snake in the grass stuff.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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Irish,

I strongly urge you to move your thread over in the MLC forum. MLCers are a whole different animal that just a WW or WAW. You'll get support of similarly situated posters with MLCers.

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Irish M Offline OP
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hi Wonka
how do i do that :-)


M51
XW43 (38 at bd)
BD1 MAY 30 2015
BD2 JUNE 25 2015 by text
moved out Aug 2 2015
left both Daughters 13 and 15 (now 18-20)
Her divorce Final July 26 2016
Last time she saw her kids Aug 2 2015
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
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Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
As far as I can see you create a new thread in MLC and link this one to it. If this is a strong recommendation by Wonka then I would take that recommendation and move. Sotto did the same and the folks on the MLC were very supportive.

Linking seems to work across forums.

I posted how to link on Diana's thread

This is how I do it

1. In the new thread find the first post
2. Click on the little yellow icon in the top left hand corner of the first post(just before the Re: Bridges
3. Go to the top of the screen to the Www search bar
4. click in that and the http ref shows: starts www.divorcebusting.com/ forums.....
5. Select all then copy
6. Go to the last post of the old thread
7. Open up a reply then say new thread link, then make a return and past the link on a new line
8. Submit the new reply
9. Test the link if it doesn't work delete post the reply and try again. Took me a while to learn

10. Yippe it works so repeat the other way round

The other way round:

11. In the old thread find the last post
12. Click on the little yellow icon in the top left hand corner (just before the Re: ......)
13. Go to the top of the screen to the Www search bar
14. click in that and the http ref shows
15. Select all and then copy
16. Go to the next post of the new thread
17. Open up a reply then say new thread link and past the link
18. .submit the new reply
19. Test the link if it doesn't work delete the reply and try again. Took me a while to learn

To do a link to all threads go to My Stuff and Posts then topics created

Then from 13 onwards repeat

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 09/01/15 04:12 AM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


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