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Originally Posted By: asitis
Zeus,

I hope you take this not as a criticism, but as a heads up on something I think you in no way intended.

I know you're struggling, and I know you put a wink after your statement, but I really need to point out that there are women on this forum who have been abused and have taken the reasonable path of seeking a D to escape that situation.

If you have ever worked w/ abuse survivors, you would know that many/most carry the physical and emotional scars of their abuse for the rest of their lives, often making it hard for them to enter into healthy Rs again. They also often carry around a great deal of guilt and shame, and we need to have a sensitivity that they may by hurt by statements like yours even if you didn't mean for it to come across in a hurtful way.

I think almost everyone on here wishes society didn't see D as so acceptable, although I think many we think are walking away too quickly have really wrestled more than we give them credit for and are feeling a lot of pain about their choice. I think most of us wish there were longer legal cooling off periods (although again I'd make exceptions in the case of abuse) to allow for everyone to go through the chaos of emotions that are set off with As, MLC, and feeling like they've had enough. So, I think you'll find most of us are sympathetic to your critique of our culture.

And, again, I know you aren't the type to want to cause pain to any of the women here. Having worked with abuse survivors, I'm just hyper sensitive to how easy it is for our words to unintentionally cause abuse survivors pain that decent people like us really feel bad about because we really didn't understand the impact of those words.



100% agreed. Those that know me know I tend to go to extremes, so I was intending to make a little fun of myself. But I appreciate your feedback as I'm sure I will encounter people with this background and may not even know it.


Me:38 XW:38
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I know what you meant, and I know you were meaning no harm. Your decency comes pouring through so many of your posts. I'm glad you did not take it as criticism as that is the last thing I would want.


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
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Thanks guys, I appreciate all of you for coming in and giving me a proverbial pat on the butt. I think having my dog at the beach kind of screwed me up because it was such a beautiful day and could have been such a beautiful day for us to be together. Not worried about who's going to end up with him, not worried about why we got here, just a happy couple enjoying each other.

I just got back from a dinner GAL with some great friends, spending the evening talking about how fast technology is changing and how scary it is! Got to watch our dogs play in the back yard and enjoy amazing company. It definitely changed my state.

As, Fogg, and Zeus, thank you very much for your words, they really were a blessing to come back to.

PP


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Another Monday in DB Land.

No interaction planned for WAW and myself this week, so I'm going to focus on the gift of time and continue to DB from a distance.

I have a big week of taking Woofie to the beach, filling him up with bacon, and moving forward on some business work.

I've also hired a very interesting financial coach since my W was the one that handled all of our home finances, and my business partner handled all of our business finances. So much of the work she's doing is similar to the work we do here - accountability, 180's from what is normally happening around $$$, looking at the positive in negative situations, focusing on what we can control, etc. So many parallels between DB, AA, and any other form of self improvement.

This post was written with a bed that is made, 15 minutes of meditation done, and a journal entry written, my goals for the week are to start everyone morning in this exact way.

Hope everyone has a peaceful week.

PP


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Wow, PP, you are on track. Good job on the financial coach, good job on the morning routine. smile



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Originally Posted By: PigPen

I just got back from a dinner GAL with some great friends, spending the evening talking about how fast technology is changing and how scary it is! Got to watch our dogs play in the back yard and enjoy amazing company. It definitely changed my state.


Be careful you don't become one of those old men who sits around w/ his friends complaining about them new-fangled things that just complicate life. laugh


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
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Hey PP, just wanted to say thank you for popping by my place, your kind words, lifted my spirit.


Light and love

JellyBxxx

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Originally Posted By: SunnyB
Wow, PP, you are on track. Good job on the financial coach, good job on the morning routine. smile


Thanks Sunny, she is a very interesting coach. Basically dissected my personal issues, and self worth challenges all through how I deal with finances. My goal is to have both the practical and emotional aspect of money understood moving into the new year.

So much to learn...


M 39 W 36
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Originally Posted By: JellyB
Hey PP, just wanted to say thank you for popping by my place, your kind words, lifted my spirit.


Light and love

JellyBxxx


You're more than welcome Jelly B, I hope you've decided against purposeful spinsterhood and are continuing to wait for the lucky man who will realize just how much you bring to the table.

Thank you for your light and love.

PP


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PP,

I cannot start my day without making my bed first...otherwise I'd be antsy and grumpy. A neatly made bad makes for a good day to me. smile

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