Yesterday, the actress Kate Winslet posted on her Facebook page a photo and a little note about how her two divorces has benefited her children...
"Kate Winslet
The media keeps asking me “Kate, you’ve been divorced twice. Are you not scared that those bad experiences are going to negatively impact your children?” People go, 'Oh, my God! Those poor children! They must have gone through so much,’
I just have one thing to say to all of them.My divorces have actually taught my children about struggle.They’ve always been with me. They don’t go from pillar to post; they’re not flown here and there with nannies.That’s never happened. My children live with me; that is it.
I would honestly say that I wouldn’t change a thing. Even all the bad bits. They all matter, because those things shape who you are. Life is just too short to be spending time focusing on useless things. I want to keep my health and my sanity and be well-fed and happy.
We've all got our health and we all laugh a lot. In my personal life, I really can't say why, but I've never felt more confident and happy. And all the credit goes to my little kids and my Husband.
My personal advice to each and every Parent out there is that the best way to raise Positive children in a negative world is to have positive parents who love them unconditionally and serve as excellent role models. We both are really positive and we teach the same to our kids. And it really helps in their upbringing. It feels so great when your Kids see you as their role model. Nothing can beat that feeling.
Share this message as much as you can so that it reaches every parent out there."
There are just so many things wrong with this! And there's a bunch of women who are posting, "Yay, I left and my children live with me! They are so much happier now!"
(If this is the wrong forum, please move - but I didn't find a 'Divorce & Society' forum or another place that seemed to fit...)
Last edited by Cadet; 08/31/1505:07 PM. Reason: outside links not permitted
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I would honestly say that I wouldn’t change a thing. Even all the bad bits. They all matter, because those things shape who you are.Life is just too short to be spending time focusing on useless things.
How can she go from saying something I LOVE (in black) to something I hate so much (in blue) so quickly? Is she suggesting that her marriages are "useless things"? Ugh. What a terrible message.
I can't hear the phrase 'Life is (too) short' without cringing these days. I heard it out of H several times last fall, and recently I learned that it's the slogan of the website Ashley Madison - 'Life is short. Have an affair.'
It also demonstrates that we need to look carefully at who our role models are. She's an actress - not a philosopher or relationship specialist or spiritual adviser. And people who are public figures should think carefully about what they put out there that is unrelated to their profession. I'd happily listen to her talk about acting and movies...
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I get it: We only have one life...and its not that long.
But to suggest that its better to throw away a marriage and start over based on a temporary feeling of unhappiness is ludicrous. To suggest that its better to just throw away your family than to work on improve is irresponsible. And to suggest that divorce is the best and only solution to being unhappy in your marriage is infuriating.
Azzork, what do people in a fog say and how do they behave? Does the ever so slightly delusional message from Kate remind you of anyone close to you? :-) (No disrespect to your W intended).
In Kate's case, it's simply that she's broadcasting in a public place rather than more privately which Is the norm we are used to.
Don't let it infuriate you, learn from it and realise it backs up what Sandi's Rule states "don't believe 100% of what your WW says and only believe 50% of what they do".
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
Azzork, what do people in a fog say and how do they behave? Does the ever so slightly delusional message from Kate remind you of anyone close to you? :-) (No disrespect to your W intended).
In Kate's case, it's simply that she's broadcasting in a public place rather than more privately which Is the norm we are used to.
Don't let it infuriate you, learn from it and realise it backs up what Sandi's Rule states "don't believe 100% of what your WW says and only believe 50% of what they do".
I understand what youre saying. I am mostly upset that this is being held up as being good advice. And that we should be happy for her for taking these steps. And be proud of what a good role model and parent shes being.
Its just frustrating that THIS is the message that is being seen by people across the world. i wonder how many divorces will be started because of this message.
I am mostly upset that this is being held up as being good advice. And that we should be happy for her for taking these steps. And be proud of what a good role model and parent shes being.
Its just frustrating that THIS is the message that is being seen by people across the world. i wonder how many divorces will be started because of this message.
Something along those lines was posted in reply to her.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
I am disgusted by this. Just as I am disgusted with my H by him saying he stuck around for a year and it didn't get better so he is out. How could it get better if you didn't participate in the marriage or the healing of the marriage. It isn't a magic trick. Sheesh!
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
I am disgusted by this. Just as I am disgusted with my H by him saying he stuck around for a year and it didn't get better so he is out. How could it get better if you didn't participate in the marriage or the healing of the marriage. It isn't a magic trick. Sheesh!
Yes, my STBX said something along those same lines. That in the 7 months between BD and S, nothing changed. Yeah...well... he never gave up the duck, never gave MC a chance, never went to IC. How does the M have a chance?
