Walkaway Wife/WW/MLC Part 2

[jjal]

I flew to see friends last weekend. When she asked my weekend plans she seemed excited I was doing so, & asked to pass along hellos to our friends and their kids. Be safe and have fun, all that. Then she offered to take me/pick me up from airport. At the time, I was already on the plane and thanked her for the offer, but said it was already handled -- I parked at the airport.

This week, emails back to being short and cold.

[Ancaire]

Thanks for your posts...I really find them encouraging. I am trying hard to refocus, and you've given me some great pointers!

[jjal]

Thanks for your posts...I really find them encouraging. I am trying hard to refocus, and you've given me some great pointers!

Hang in there Judy! I cope by calling it selfish wife syndrome and by reminding myself that it really isn't about me. Oh yeah, I wasn't perfect, and we needed some help, but I didn't run away from home.

So, take a deep breath, one with your belly, and then tell yourself you will be okay. It may feel like you are lying to yourself, but you will start believing it if you can detach. You got this!

[sandi2]

This week, emails back to being short and cold.

Why cold? Can't you limit the words in your emails without being cold?
Don't confuse pulling back with coldness.

[dwh15]

This week, emails back to being short and cold.

Why cold? Can't you limit the words in your emails without being cold?
Don't confuse pulling back with coldness.

Sandi, I think maybe he was referring to the emails from his WW to him, not the other way around. That's the way I read it, at least. But you make a valid point. jjal, whether she's cold or not, your replies don't have to come across that way. You can be short and to the point, but polite. Be the bigger man. Be the light house.

[jjal]

Yes, her emails bounce around from chatty to cold and short. Mine are always polite, but short. However, when I wish her well on a race or a task at work she'd mentioned earlier in the week, I get no response.

I definitely think I am being the bigger man. Trying to be the lighthouse.

[jjal]

Actually saw wife today for the 1st time in close to 6 weeks. She was driving through our neighborhood (???) as I was leaving. She had planned to come by on Saturday to pick up a few things, but I didn't hear from her. So, she stopped on Sunday, obviously what was to be unannounced.

Anyway, about a 2 minute conversation side by side in our cars. I was leaving to visit my Mother, and she told me to be safe.

This time around she grabbed quite a bit more clothes, a few coats, and some more shoes.

[jjal]

Not a lot to add. Just GAL and taking each day as it comes. Detaching has been going better since I stopped peeking in on her social media accounts. However, I did check the phone logs this morning and noticed something odd. A flurry of texts and phone calls during Labor Day weekend with suspected EA, many texts were from her. The last text was on September 6th, the last phone call was September 10th for 4 minutes.

Then, on the 16th, she called her former boss, a lady she's known for 22-23 years. Her former boss is on her second marriage, 30+ years though. I really like her and her husband, they were always fun at work functions. Anyway, not reading into any of this at all, just found it odd that there have been no conversations with suspected EA in over a week. Not getting my hopes up. But it appears something is going on.

Quiet weekend planned. Sleeping has been about the same, 5.5 hours a night. Going to try a booze free weekend and shoot for some serious ZZZ's. Feel tired all the time.

[jjal]

Nothing to drink last night and still didn't get a minute of sleep. Even after a 5 mile walk. Sominex plus breathing exercises usually does the trick, not last night. Oh well, at least I am not sleep deprived and hungover! :-)

Still employing LRT, and contact from seems to be waning. Last contact was Wednesday.

This week is an anniversary of sorts, we met 22 years ago this week. Not sure if I should send her a note on that day.

[jjal]

Figured I'd bump this to the top for my 100th post, and to see if I could drag in some partners in misery.

Still no contact this morning, last contact was Wednesday via a 2 line email. Reflecting on our 1st meeting 22 years ago has probably made me a bit anxious. Maybe that caused the sleepless night.

I guess it is time to schedule my 4th coaching call. I took a few weeks off from it to see if LRT would show some improvement.