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jim0987 #2602817 08/30/15 01:26 PM
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Sotto!

Reading up a bit on you. YOU are one amazing woman!!! I love what jim0987 posted. I'm certain he's right. But even if you were ready, these wonderful people that want to be with the adventurous, wonderful, loving Sotto might not be ready for YOU yet!

I hope you have a wonderful lunch with your parents and fun at the aerobics class! smile


M 43 H 48
M 19y T 20y
D 14
S 12
H returned home from out of country 8/8/15
BD 8/11/15
EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing
PA H denies
ILYBINILWY
Lost08 #2602880 08/30/15 08:29 PM
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Hi Sotto. While I agree with Jim. I do feel a little slighted !! We had our first date , I've been taking it slow because we've both been hurt and now I read your feeling that no one wants you. ?????

Sotto ,please believe me when I tell you that there are lots of guys praying to find a lady like yourself because your very special and very rare The qualities you show time and time again are fantastic and you will have no shortage of suitors

You will be doing the picking and I trust you will choose wisely

It's very easy to ask what is wrong with US and no doubt we weren't perfect but we are all basically good people , who were prepared to work on ourselves

Sotto is fantastic and I for one would be over the moon to think I could meet someone with 1/2 your qualities.

Re the OW. Of course it's upsetting and if it wasn't you wouldn't be on this site The trick is to put your mind elsewhere nits not as if you don't have other things to think about. Your GAL. ( great action lifestyle , in your case !! ). Your job and your amazing life.

Your an example to us all and your H is in his cheeseless maze He will emerge on day but I feel he will find out the cheese was under his nose the whole time

Take care Rd. xxxx

rd500 #2602951 08/31/15 07:03 AM
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Thanks Jim - I did cry when I posted the 'no-one wants to be with me' comment. Just a dip really and I know the score rationally. And yes, I know there are a couple of guys out there who may be interested in me. Sometimes we just need a reminder of this. I think it was just a dip in response to getting a rare bit of info about H.

Lost, thank you - that's nice of you to say that. Truth is, it's just a social group I joined that tends to do these slightly unusual things. I'm glad if it makes me look a little intrepid though!!

RD - I'm so sorry!! I hadn't realised you were working up to asking me on a second date - What you thought of as taking it slow, I saw as stopped!! Thanks for the vote of confidence anyway and you're right about putting your mind elsewhere. It truly doesn't help to dwell on their lives. Best to wholeheartedly engage in my own life.

Well, it's a wet bank holiday here and I'm volunteering at the bookstore today, which is always fun! Need to get moving now. Happy Monday everyone xx


T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2603421 09/01/15 07:04 PM
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Had a great day at the bookstore yesterday. Really busy with people and we had a bank holiday offer on too. Seriously, volunteering there has helped me such a lot and I have met some great people.

Today was back to paid work, an early start and travelling. So it's been a long day for me. Just relaxing back at home now with a glass of wine. Tomorrow is a day off, and I'm going to the drumming circle in the evening, so that should be good. I read a bit about drumming and it is supposed to induce euphoria......so I'll let you know.... wink I'm also off to a psychic supper with a friend on Thurs and then to 'proms in the park' with my social group on Sat...busy GAL week for me.

All quiet on the legal and H front. I'm expecting to hear back from my L at some point on the financials, but for now I've responded to her emails. I also expect to get actual D papers at some point soon. What I had before was a draft and I was just being consulted about the contents. I'm all business now WRT the D.

Since I heard that OW was still on the scene as of a couple of months ago, she has beeen more on my mind. It makes me realise that I had got to a point of thinking much less about her. But that has increased again - unwelcome and I need to manage that.

A while ago I heard that H's sister was trying to fix him up with a friend of hers & I was pretty upset about that. But actually, I then thought that people who love H may be concerned about the choice he's making with OW. She had an A with one guy that broke up his M. Then she cheated on him with H. The first guy is now following her round the globe, hoping to win her back.....she's not someone you'd want your brother to fall for. Does that just sound judgmental? IDK - somehow I just can't summon up any good feeling towards her.

Other than that all is good. I discovered a new crime author this week and am all stuck into one of her novels...yay!!

Hope you guys have a good week xx

Last edited by Sotto; 09/01/15 07:11 PM.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2603469 09/01/15 10:34 PM
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Hi Sotto

That all sounds pretty good to me and a busy GAL week to boot.

I wouldn't bother trying to summon up any feelings towards OW, good or bad, she's not worth your headspace. Complete indifference is better.

And business like has to be the way on the papers (I say this as much for me)

Hope you enjoyed your wine


Both mid 30s, 2 young kids
BD 7sep14
XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1
D paperwork in progress
jim0987 #2603470 09/01/15 10:39 PM
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Hope you had a brilliant read!

Tons

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Sotto #2603513 09/02/15 12:53 AM
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Sotto,

Originally Posted By: Sotto

Other than that all is good. I discovered a new crime author this week and am all stuck into one of her novels...yay!!


Is she Patrica Cornwell of Kay Scarpetta fame by any chance? smile

Wonka #2603913 09/03/15 04:56 PM
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Hi Jim, thanks for that. Yes, logically I know that this woman is not worthy of air time in my brain. I had got to a pretty good place with that. Just finding she's still in the mix somewhere upset that and I need to get back to my good place. I'll get there.

Thanks V and Wonka. No it's not Cornwell - it's Elly Griffiths - and I recommend her. A British author with an Archaeology lecturer as the central character.

Well, it's been a busy few days for me. A mix of working away and social things. Last night was the drumming circle, which I enjoyed. It was slightly more new age than I am, but everyone was so nice and the drumming was good. You get quite in the zone with the drumming and it builds and builds, getting slowly faster. I sat next to a couple of nice people. One of the guys heads up spiritual services for an end of life care provider and we had a good chat over coffee.

Tonight I'm off to the Psychic supper with another friend, and then bookstore volunteering tomorrow. On Saturday I'm going to A 'Proms in the Park' concert with my social group, so that should be nice too.

Nothing to report in respect of L's or H. I'm staying totally dark just now and focusing on my own life - but I expect the actual D papers will arrive at some point soon.

Have a good evening all xx

Last edited by Sotto; 09/03/15 04:57 PM.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Sotto #2604120 09/04/15 09:15 AM
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Hi Sotto. Sounds to me like your doing great and dealing with everything with your usual style. Of course OW bothers you and what his sis is doing doesn't sound helpful but the thing is your realise that while it bothers you , it s not worth putting any energy into Especially when that energy can be used for the next GAL activity , lion taming while juggling dwarfs ? Swimming with sharks while playing the grand piano ( with your feet ) ?

Bookstore sounds great fun and I presume a discount is available !!!!

Have a great day special lady. You certainly deserve it

Take care. Rd. xxxx

rd500 #2604502 09/05/15 09:56 PM
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RD, thanks for dropping by; it's always good to hear from you. You are right of course about OW. And I kind of know it's a house of cards, about ready to fall down with a little gust of wind. That's the rational part of me. The less rational part worries that they may go on to start a new family. But, hey if that's truly what he wants - who am I to stand in the way of that??

I also ask myself sometimes. Is DBing actually stretching the pain out a little further? Because, with DBing, you actually retain a grain of hope? Would it be better just to move on entirely? IDK. In many other sitches, the WAS seems to have much more contact or interest in the LBS. My H - whilst he has been pretty pleasant - seems to have cut me out entirely, and I do find that hard. I know I'm making lots of progress...but even so, I do still find it hard to wrap my head around that sometimes....

Now then, my next GAL doesn't involve lions or dwarves. I was at the bookstore part of the day. Then this evening, I went out to a proms in the park event with my social group.

One thing I've noticed about when I go out with this group.....there are some pretty extrovert people there and many of them know each other pretty well. So, as a newcomer, it can feel a little hard to integrate. But each time, I seem to meet someone nice and have a good chat with them, so that's good. There are other newcomers like me.

Tonight, I sat with a really nice woman and we had a good chat. Then I chatted to someone else, who I had talked to at another event. Some of them are super confident and I kind of beat myself up a little that I'm not like that. But I figure I went and I met someone new, and that's a good thing. Focus on what you did do, not what you didn't.

Tomorrow, I'm going to have lunch with my parents and then I'll go off to aqua aerobics in the evening. Then I'm working away for a couple of days. Hope everyone is having a good weekend! xx

Last edited by Sotto; 09/05/15 09:58 PM.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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