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I'm posting this separately as it has nothing to do with me personally.

On Judge Mablean today - one of many court case shows and my guilty pleasure blush - she found a mistress of 1.5 years liable for about 1/3 of the counselings costs for the H and W incurred to repair their marriage. The total cost was $10,000 and the OW had to pay $3,000.

This sounds pretty groundbreaking (and awesome! grin) to me. Anyone heard about similar cases? This was according to IL law, I think she said.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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I think I like that judge!! I think that's a perfectly wise and reasonable ruling.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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I have not heard of that ... but I do recall hearing about certain states one could go after the OM/OW for loss of potential earning income if a M ended due to an A. Call me bias .... but I am all for this ruling and any law that would hold a 3rd party financially responsible for 'damages' ... heaven knows people get paid off for mush less.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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I looked up something called 'alienation of affection' - it's only a few states who have it, most have abolished it. Not sure why they would do that...


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Joined: Jun 2015
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Those same states also have a law called Criminal Conversation,

Criminal conversation is the name for a civil (not criminal, as the name implies) lawsuit requires the plaintiff to allege and prove the occurrence of sexual intercourse between the defendant and the plaintiff’s spouse – adultery. If the plaintiff can prove (1)the existence of a legally valid marriage and (2) sexual intercourse, the only possible defense can be that the plaintiff and his or her spouse were separated with the intent that the separation be permanent (even a temporary separation will not be a defense) or that the plaintiff consented to the intercourse between spouse and defendant.

An action for alienation of affection does not actually require proof of extramarital sex (opening the door to suits against those who engaged in an “emotional affair” or those who otherwise encouraged the demise of a marriage). There are several additional elements, however, that make the claim a difficult one to prove. To prove an alienation of affection claim, the plaintiff must show that (1) the marriage entailed love between the spouses in some degree; (2) the spousal love was alienated and destroyed; and (3) defendant’s malicious conduct contributed to or caused the loss of affection.

Plaintiff does not have to prove that the defendant intended to destroy the marriage, only that the acts would foreseeably impact the marriage. It is, therefore, a defense that the defendant did not know the plaintiff’s spouse was married. Additionally, prior marital problems might establish a defense to an alienation of affection claim if spousal love had already been destroyed.

Because an alienation of affection claim does not require proof of sex, the defendant does not even need to be a romantic interest of the plaintiff’s spouse. It could theoretically be anyone who has counseled, suggested and/or encouraged divorce – including a therapist, a clergy member, a friend or a relative.

Recoverable damages in both alienation of affections and criminal conversation cases can include compensation for loss of services in the home, loss of consortium (spousal sexual relations), loss of support, including present and future income of spouse, and emotional distress.


Me: 30's W: 30's M: 12yrs
EA: Started 3/2015
MC Started: 4/2015
She moved out and served 6/2015
PA: Confirmed 10/5/2015
2 young kids

"If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything."
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I live in a state that still has alienation-of-affection laws on the books, but they're pretty worthless. Just a few years ago, a judge in my county ruled that a man was due more than $1 million from his W's affair partner. The thing is: The LBS will never actually see that kind of money, but the ruling will likely put a thorn in OM's side for the rest of his life.

The reason it has been abolished in so many states, from what I understand, is because it's actually a law from a longgggg time ago when women were viewed as their H's property. (So if a man had an A with another man's W, and she left the M because of it, the OM essentially stole the man's property.)

I am not the biggest fan of alienation-of-affection, but I won't lie and say I didn't mention it, along with the news article about the recent +$1 million court ruling, to spook XOW. (It worked.) But I DO think it's sad that most all states are no-fault states and don't really punish betraying spouses who end their M as a result of an A. I think there should be some real consequences for that - it might help people think twice before cheating.

I know a girl who left her M because she began an A with another man. She still gets one-half of her H's 401K, pension, etc. That is atrocious.


M: 40 H: 44
Married 14 years
S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M
2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart
Piecing: April 2014
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So very tempting. I live in one of the 7 state where alienstion of affection is still around. My H is so messed up from this whole crisis and the ow had been a terrible influence. She doesn't care who she hurts snd has no morals or integrity from what I see. She's more damaged than my husband. I've already filed and divorce seems inevitable. I've decided to keep this as my ' trump' card if my husband is uncooperative when it comes to the settlement. No doubt he would protect her over me.
Not a bad thing to be able to throw on the table even if that's all you do with it


M: 53 H:53 M: 30 years
D:29, D 27, D 25
BD: 6/2/14
Proof of OW 7/7/14
D filed 8/14 (H)
D dropped 1/15 (H)
3/15 H reaching out
06/01/15 Proof of OW still
06/17/15 I filed
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I absolutely love this thread.

How brilliant.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW



Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

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