If someone can prove to the courts she is a danger to herself or others, you can have her hospitalized without her consent.
Sounds like her Mexican "vacay" and inability to support herself--at least to me--sounds like it would be enough to get her the help she needs.
Getting hospitalized will take some work because you will have to make calls and dig into the red tape until you find the right resources. Sounds like she has been struggling for a long time though and has some legal woes which would support the argument she needs help ASAP.
Maybe start by calling social agencies dealing with substance abuse/mental illness. See if you can find an atty who deals with this type of situation.
If I had the support of Matt's parents/family, this is the route I would have taken. Sadly, his family refuses to address/confront his problems so he continues on his merry way--plus, he is able to, somehow, support himself despite his mental/substance abuse problems.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
HOWEVER, can't stress enough... keep some FIRM boundaries. These types of issues/people can easily suck the life outta everyone around them. It's cunning and baffling and you can't allow her illness to touch S or YOU. Keep her far away. Build brick walls if necessary.
Your H's willingness to help is great, but also suggests he has some fantasies about "saving" her.
There's a saying in Al-Anon. Get outta God's way when someone is sick with addiction. They will bulldoze over you and never feel the bottom they need to feel.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
If someone can prove to the courts she is a danger to herself or others, you can have her hospitalized without her consent.
Actually not as easy as you think. A 48 hour hold is pretty straightforward, a 2 week hold is a bit more difficult - after that, it's very difficult to keep someone. My childhood friend became a full-blown schizophrenic and his family couldn't get the court to commit him past the 2 weeks.
mleigh, I agree w/you that you do not want your son around the SIL, especially now that she's lost the plot. I doubt that she will want to live w/your h because of being out in the country and not being able to get whatever she needs to give her that "fix". She most likely will stay w/one of her parents until they can get her into treatment in the next few days. Then again, she may return to the States and disappear again. She has really lost the plot if she's seeing aliens and boats disappearing.
I'm keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers. This is not going to be an easy problem to fix. Hopefully they can get her into some type of facility this weekend, even if it's just for observation.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I smh here ... your MIL must deep down be wondering ... 'where did I go wrong'. My BIL is in prison, W's family on the surface seemed to have it together when I first entered in the picture 25 years ago, in fact was one of the things that drew me to her .. her sense of family. Fast Forward 25 years .. 3/5 I am convinced MLC ... MIL/SIL both diagnosed Bi Polar, FIL recovering alcoholic, BIL3 prison, Bil2 work-a-holic, BIL1 struggles consistently. I shake my head thinking ... wow .. W in comparison seems to be doing pretty good .. well ya have to laugh or cry right?
I am curious to see how this plays out for your H, maybe taking some inventory here ... he might just think about some childhood issues that sent your SIL down this road and discover some of the things that sent him on his way .... see .. that's the optimist in me working here.
Thoughts and prayers going out to you and yours ... hang in there.
Thanks everyone. H and his family have their hands full, their circus, their monkeys. Don't worry, S and I will stay as far away as possible from this. It is hard to see someone so lost, but this has been going on for years, I am hoping she is nearing her rock bottom and will agree to professional help.
I have been thinking about what a mess they all are. I mean truly, they are all an emotional mess. I am not saying I am perfect in any way, but I sure as h*ll don't live my life in such a selfish manner that I hurt everyone around me. Between MIL, SIL and H, they win the prize. Not a judgment, just an observation. I still love them all and am there for them as much as I can be...but something tells me to distance myself and son from this.
Like you said Cali, I too believed H and his family had it all together, and it too drew me to them....and then the cracks started showing.
I wish them all the best and will continue to pray for guidance for them all. I do, also, have some hope, that this will have some kind of effect on H. I will stay in the background, help when and if I can, and hope for the best.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
You are very wise to distance yourself and your son from this circus. You don't want to be sucked into their drama. All you can do is pray for them and hope that they can convince her to go to a facility for help.
On another note, how are the fur babies doing? Does your son like school this year?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Job. The fur babies are great! Mitz, short for mittens, is still a crazy kitten although she had her 1 year birthday this week. Unfortunately, she is very giving and brings us lizards on a regular basis, even for our dog! She drops them at dogs feet. Son just loves her and is now a full fledged cat lover.
Dog, Duff, is also great. I have started walking on a regular basis again. I used to take her, but with us almost being the same size and weight, she would drag me. Now that she has gotten older and calmer, we are walking together again and we both enjoy it so much, it's one of my favorite things to do. Mitz still picks on her sometimes, but she is starting to stand up for herself.
My hamster, Jerry, remains in the office room to keep him safe from the feline huntress, but I hear him running away on his wheel at night.
Son started 3rd grade and seems to finally be getting challenged. Homework is no joke and takes him about an hour and a half to complete. He really likes his teacher and she is already raving about him to me. He is such a sweetheart and good boy. He actually had me called to get him from school today with a bad tummy ache. Wondering if it is related to the family drama as this hasn't happened in a long time. He has just been laid out on the couch for hours, but getting lots of mommy TLC.
Thank you for asking, all the above are the center of my world!
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Sounds like the fur babies are doing very well and have adjusted to living under one roof together. I can't believe Mitz is 1 already!
Poor little Jerry, living the life of a loner in the office. LOL! I'm sure he gets a lot of attention too.
If your son likes his teacher than that's what counts. When a child likes his teacher, he'll work harder and be more interested in the work that teacher gives them. I'm glad he's being a bit more challenged this year.
As for your son's tummy ache, it could be he caught a bug. They are going around (early this year). I see where the flu shots are already being offered in my area. In the past, they were usually offered mid to late September. I don't think the drama in Mexico has anything to do w/his bad tummy. Hopefully it's just a bug and he'll feel better today.
Enjoy the time you spend w/your son and your fur babies. You couldn't ask for any better unconditional love in your household!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
