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gonegrl Offline OP
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Why us, I am going to have to take a clonopin before the concert or I will be a crying mess with all the love songs. But its a month away, maybe I will be either tougher or closer to reconciliation by then.



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That's quite a dream, and quite a mail room. I hope the sex was good at least.

I'm not big on reading single dreams, but I'd say that there was a desire that you are worried will not get fulfilled.

And, nothing is wrong with you. Dreams are where we often work through unresolved feelings. I think you'll agree that at this time in our lives we have quite a few of those.

If you wake up feeling particularly disturbed get up and sit on a chair and just allow yourself to feel what's going on physically in your body and how your emotions feel. Whether or not it is our unconscious really requesting we pay attention to some feeling or not (that's a fairly reasonable hypothesis), embracing the physical and emotional sensations seems to have a helpful effect both on troubling dreams dying down and feeling more centered afterwards. Mostly anecdotal, but that's probably the best "evidence" we're likely to get on something as nebulous as dreams.


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
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Wow, that's quite the dream photoka. Lol!

I totally get what you mean about H just going through the motions. My H and I have been to MC and IC and we are still not any closer to reconciling than we were shortly after BD. I hate living in limbo, but I really don't want to feel that all consuming heartache again that I did when the bomb hit. I think for now I just have to let things be. From what I understood, once you really detach it won't matter so much. Darn it, this detaching is so hard to do when you love someone.

Wish my dreams were as vivid and clear as yours. 😜


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

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gonegrl Offline OP
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The last time I actually remembered a dream that I had was a week or two before BD. I had one dream where H was in a restaurant with another woman. And another dream that he was packing up to move out. I told him about both and he said "Oh, no, why would you dream that? That would NEVER happen." Meanwhile it was. I guess my intuition was telling me something, I should have listened. If I think of this dream in the same light, I guess my intuition is telling me to stay with H. But then again, sometimes a dream is just a dream. I have my masters in Psychology, I should know better than to analyze myself.

Anyway, just split a bottle of wine with a friend, so I am posting buzzed. She just got out of divorce court today and my mind is reeling over how much she was awarded. H comes home in a few minutes, so I need a dose of reality. Wine + thoughts of huge divorce settlements do NOT equal good DB'ing. I do NOT want to be divorced, but hell, if it comes to it I am getting her lawyer.



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I did a good DB job even buzzed. I am getting good at this! I don't usually drink, so 1.5 glasses of wine gets me buzzed, but even though I was feeling "good" I maintained control of my reactions. Each day that passes makes me feel like I am no longer "faking" it, but actually becoming less reactive and stronger. Not that I want to test it too much with the wine! I wish I had learned this before I *had* to. Could have saved myself a lot of heartache.



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I'm not sure that someone who is standing for her M isn't going to do good DBing when buzzed & having talked w/ a friend who got a huge settlement out of her D. Sounds like a good bit of fun + some I deserve better. Recipe for detachment & surprising H w/ an unexpected 180 given that you haven't been letting your hair down for a while. A problem only if you make it a habit (at least the getting buzzed), but a good night otherwise.

Rather than interpreting your dream, if you are dreaming again after a break, that is a good sign. If you didn't dream much before BD, it doesn't mean anything, but if you were remembering your dreams before BD and weren't after, then it is a sign that you are able to allow yourself to deal with some painful emotions. That is good. Really.

And, never happen is something all of us going through this mess should not be expecting. We realize that even good people can struggle so much that they do things that we would never expect. And we will live a life we hadn't planned for. Just saying.

Sounds like you had a good night.


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
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Thanks Asitis. I was really happy for my friend, and I was really happy that I have been able to be supportive to her throughout this process. My H was floored when he found out about her settlement (so was I) and I think it was a good reality check for him. Let's face it, D is expensive and a huge financial blow.

I don't drink a lot, maybe 1-2 nights per week and usually only one glass because that is enough for me to feel it. If I have 2 glasses I am officially "drunk", I usually switch over to water after the first glass because my tolerance is very low. But tonight I had 1.5 glasses without dinner so it hit me pretty strong.

Interesting point about the dreams. I used to remember my dreams frequently, and I just realized because you pointed it out that this was the first dream I have recalled since BD. That is 6 months.

I did have a good night. Going to bed soon, maybe I will have another dream tonight.



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Maybe a coffee dream?

You are doing really well. I hope you can see that.


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,435
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gonegrl Offline OP
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Asitis! Last night I had multiple dreams! I don't remember them now, but I remember waking during the night and recalling my dream and thinking about it, and then I tried your technique of "feeling" the emotions and just sitting with them and ended up falling back asleep, but I remember 3x during the night this happening. Don't remember the dreams or the emotions now that I am awake, but something is definitely happening in my brain.

On a separate note, H is trying to strike up small talk much more these last few days.



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gonegrl Offline OP
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I am doing so well as long as I ignore my urge to engage my H in some R talk. I will not give in!

Going to try to keep myself busy for the day. I am on here way too much.



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