There's been a real movement in your sitch since the Woofie email exchanges for the better.
Let's review what forward movements has taken place since the email exchanges:
-got two weeks with Woofie -got a hug from W -she went INSIDE your office which was a first since January -sharing a bit about the In-laws
ALL GOOD!
The only goof is asking to see the nieces. That's a big no-no. It's a case of too much, too soon. Remember that this is a new friend you've just met. Dial down the intensity, bud.
All in all, this was a fabulous baby step for W and you.
You might to treat yourself some nice filet mignon.
Thanks Wonka, I appreciate you coming on and helping me out. It's hard to see the positives from my end, but your post helped immensely.
I understand about the nieces in hind site. They unfortunately are moving out of the state with my BIL and SIL tomorrow morning, and I miss them so much. But you are right, tonight is also my W's last night with them and I tried to impose on that. Lesson learned.
Thank you again for all of your guidance, it doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
PP I can feel your pain through the screen. It is so tough some days to follow DBing and not answer like would like to. I get that too at times. "Is any wrong?" drives me nuts. No nothing is wrong except you are abandoning our M, friendship, and oh yea, your son. Everything is hunky dory!
Sigh. Back to the regular programming. PMA. PMA. PMA.
Huge *hugs*!
E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Look at the question if anything is wrong in another way. Some of us are the ones asking our Ss, but our Ss are not asking us if something is wrong. They might check us out to see if something is different (W gave me a quick up & down tonight when I got home that I don't think she was aware she was doing, but either doesn't register my mood or just doesn't really care all that much).
That there is some attention to your mood & needs is a good sign even if you have to bite your tongue on the answer. Reciprocation of concern and focus is a good thing. Of course, by itself it doesn't mean a significant change is occurring, but it still is a good sign.
In PP's case, there are some there are some other very good signs. It doesn't mean that a fundamental change is occurring (yet), but I read the asking if he was OK as a good, if frustrating, thing. And, he handled it well.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Apart from the bit about the bacon, my dog Tigggy-puss, ( thought he was one of the cats) once ate a pack of raw bacon (the cat stole it for him from the work top) and I discovered dogs and bacon don't get on. He had nitrate poisoning.
Same dog that when W1 and I were bottling home made apple wine, unbeknown to us was licking up the spills and had a hang over. Tiggy-puss had a favourite cat and the two of them used to lie in his basket together, they were inseparable. She cleaned his ears for him. They were a tag team, I caught them once he had his paws on the pedal bin flip to keep the lid of the bin up whilst she fished inside the bin from the work top. They both travelled In the back seat of the car, curled up together. Inseparable, best friends and companions. That cat hardly ever left his side, they sat on window sills together basking in the sun. She was the first thing he went to after he'd been out. She ate from his bowl, yes, dog food and I know that's not good for cats, apart from her cat biscuits she ate first from his bowl whilst he waited for her to finish.
So I really understand about Woofie, Tiggy-puss was a great love even if I shared him with puss. When puss died he grieved greatly for her. He had lost the great love of his life. The cat never related to other cats or humans but she nurtured and groomed Tiggy-puss.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 08/28/1508:56 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
PP I can feel your pain through the screen. It is so tough some days to follow DBing and not answer like would like to. I get that too at times. "Is any wrong?" drives me nuts. No nothing is wrong except you are abandoning our M, friendship, and oh yea, your son. Everything is hunky dory!
Sigh. Back to the regular programming. PMA. PMA. PMA.
Huge *hugs*!
E
Thank you for the hug E. I guess it's our spouse's way of checking in with us in the only way that's safe for them. Or that they feel they can. On some level they know, they aren't complete psychopaths so they know.
Let's do our best to keep our PMA up as it effects us first and foremost.
Big hug back to you!
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Look at the question if anything is wrong in another way. Some of us are the ones asking our Ss, but our Ss are not asking us if something is wrong. They might check us out to see if something is different (W gave me a quick up & down tonight when I got home that I don't think she was aware she was doing, but either doesn't register my mood or just doesn't really care all that much).
That there is some attention to your mood & needs is a good sign even if you have to bite your tongue on the answer. Reciprocation of concern and focus is a good thing. Of course, by itself it doesn't mean a significant change is occurring, but it still is a good sign.
In PP's case, there are some there are some other very good signs. It doesn't mean that a fundamental change is occurring (yet), but I read the asking if he was OK as a good, if frustrating, thing. And, he handled it well.
This is a good way to look at it As. She didn't have to ask and check in. My mind reading still tells me that she's trying to make sure that I'm OK but only as it eases her of her own burden. My W has tried a few times to get me to agree that since there's been so much positive change in my life since she left that this was all a really great decision. I'm not there yet nor do I know if I ever will be.
Appreciate your thoughts on this though, you are right - she did ask.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Apart from the bit about the bacon, my dog Tigggy-puss, ( thought he was one of the cats) once ate a pack of raw bacon (the cat stole it for him from the work top) and I discovered dogs and bacon don't get on. He had nitrate poisoning.
Same dog that when W1 and I were bottling home made apple wine, unbeknown to us was licking up the spills and had a hang over. Tiggy-puss had a favourite cat and the two of them used to lie in his basket together, they were inseparable. She cleaned his ears for him. They were a tag team, I caught them once he had his paws on the pedal bin flip to keep the lid of the bin up whilst she fished inside the bin from the work top. They both travelled In the back seat of the car, curled up together. Inseparable, best friends and companions. That cat hardly ever left his side, they sat on window sills together basking in the sun. She was the first thing he went to after he'd been out. She ate from his bowl, yes, dog food and I know that's not good for cats, apart from her cat biscuits she ate first from his bowl whilst he waited for her to finish.
So I really understand about Woofie, Tiggy-puss was a great love even if I shared him with puss. When puss died he grieved greatly for her. He had lost the great love of his life. The cat never related to other cats or humans but she nurtured and groomed Tiggy-puss.
V
Tiggy-puss, this just made me laugh right out loud V!
Thank you for that.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
