waves

[mleigh4]

Waves

My face above the water
My feet can't touch the ground
Touch the ground, and it feels like
I can see the sands on the horizon
Every time you are not around

I'm slowly drifting away (drifting away)
Wave after wave, wave after wave
I'm slowly drifting (drifting away)
And it feels like I'm drowning
Pulling against the stream
Pulling against the stream

I wish I could make it easy
Easy to love me, love me
But still I reach
To find a way
I'm stuck here in between
I'm looking for the right words to say

I'm slowly drifting away (drifting away)
Wave after wave, wave after wave
I'm slowly drifting (drifting away)
And it feels like I'm drowning
Pulling against the stream
Pulling against the stream

[mleigh4]

H just sent me a TM with a picture of him with his sister on Isla Mujeras...they found her and are with her! It's great news. H also TM as his plane was leaving SFO this morning to say Heading out! With no expectations to hear from him at all on this trip, these are nice surprises.

In response to Job on my last post, I will continue to do as I am, I trust in your experience.

On another note, as I figured I would, I ran into Mr. Homebuyer at kiddie drop off this morning. He looked at me, did double take, then full on stared with a nice "good morning" and smile. I said hello. I'm telling you, definite connection going on, can't really explain it as he is not my normal type! Although, my type hasn't worked well for me during my 46 years, might be time for a change! Lol.

Anyway, not purposely looking for anything, but not keeping my head in the sand anymore either. I will just keep doing my thing like normal and let fate play her hand

[job]

I'm glad to read that your h found his sister and hopefully will be returning soon. He's going to keep you apprised of what's going on. He knows that you are concerned about the trip and his safety.

It sounds like Mr. Homebuyer didn't really focus on who you were until yesterday morning at kiddie drop. Who knows where this may go, but enjoy the good mornings and smiles for a bit. You might be pleasantly surprised that the two of you have more in common than you think.

[CaliGuy]

M

I like that poem ... so fitting on how a LBS can feel with this long MLC process and how there is just a natural erosion it feels like till there is almost nothing left.

I was in reminiscent mode yesterday, I went back and read my sitch from beginning up till about Feb ... so maybe half of it. There was a comment by Jack there that at the time always stuck out with me, and when I came across it and re-read it I though of you and your sitch. I wish now I would have copied it because it seems to have extra weight this morning but I will try my best to paraphrase it.

He said something to the effect that my W (Like your H) still shares things, things like his sis ... and said that he felt if we did not make it, it would not be because of her being stuck, but more to the fact he felt I would run out of patience. Adding as Cadet often says ... the LBS has much more power than we know and the longer this goes on the more we realize it.

I think you have gone through this mess about as good and textbook as anyone could. There is a calm strength about you and I find it very hard to ever offer anything but support. The Big Brother in me wants to thump Mr Homebuyer ... thats just my protective nature ... but I know you are at a point you are tired of sitting and waiting for your H to ask you to dance. I do hope he returns with his head removed from his arse and might start to smell what he is close to losing.

[mleigh4]

Hi Cali. Waves is actually a song, by Mr. Probst, I have no idea who the singer is but love the song, it is completely fitting to where I am at. A real sadness overcomes me when I realize I am slipping away....

Awwww, don't beat up Mr. Homebuyer big bro! He seems really nice, friendly and outgoing! I am sure you would like him But yea, he is not my H, who continues to hold my heart for now....

Thank you for sharing about Jack. I would have to agree. I don't think it would be H who ends this, it would be me...

As far as MLC senses, they must have some kind of radar...Danger! Danger! Man near Wife!! Pull her back in with those last few strings!

...H texted me several times from Mexico this morning, for a good half hour. One of them being from late last night that he says didn't go through. He sent me some pictures on the beach, and the place looks like a true paradise. He KNOWS what torture it is for me to see those, the Caribbean is what I dream of constantly. He said it is very hot and humid, and as beautiful as it is, the situation is not ideal and he can't wait to get back. They booked flights for tomorrow, and will be home in the evening. I didn't say much other than commenting on how beautiful it looked and hoping his sister is ok. H says she is in and out...

My mind screams. TAKE ME!! TAKE ME!! We can have a love reunion on that beautiful beach!!! Um...yea

So, I hope everything goes smooth on leaving and coming home tomorrow because she really believes people are after her.

Nice to hear from H, I continue to be pleasantly surprised by that.

[mleigh4]

Today was Grammy day. Normally Grammy takes S home to her place, then H picks him up from there as they live in the same city and it is H night to have him. Since H is away, she asked if they could just come to my place, so I spent some time talking to her about her daughter and the Mexico saga. She filled me in on everything that has been going on and it truly is heartbreaking. She told me that H is the one person who said from day 1, we need to get her home. She said that H said we are her family and this is what you do for family. (MY H said that?? )

So the question is, what do H and FIL do with her when they get her home tomorrow? She has been living in motels and is homeless. MIL admitted she has been giving her money, hence the month long Mexico trip. We were brainstorming some ideas and she worries that SIL truly thinks her problems are every one else's fault. MIL said that SIL blames everyone else for the problems in her life. UM! HELLO!! I get a medal please for STFU because that describes her S perfectly!!!! Must run in the family.... anyway, she doesn't think she will get help because she doesn't think she needs it.

I offered our RV pending H thoughts on that, but she told me she rented to SIL twice and swore she would never again. I told her to let me know if there was anything I could do. It was a nice talk since things have been a little strained between us lately.

[job]

I am so sorry that your SIL is such a mess. Maybe she could live w/your h out in the country. It would be good for her to be spend some time w/family, i.e., where she would be away from the city's busy life for a while.

[LoisB]

M,

If substance abuse is an issue with this woman, create some firm boundaries for your S--especially if SIL moves in with H.

You know from my sitch that substance abuse can create a vortex of dysfunction in the lives of those around the abuser. Until the abuse is treated, nothing else will change--it will be same shid, diff day.

Just my two cents. YOU have worked too hard to have your life turned upside down now... And your H still isn't dealing with a full deck.

Be aware. Sounds like this woman has a strong army of enablers. If it's mental illness driving her behavior, then tx is needed. If addiction on top of mental illness, then tx. If mainly addiction, which would explain the the blaming others, then tx.

Bottom line: she needs tx in some form. There are tx options for indigents.

[mleigh4]

Hi Job. I don't care about SIL living with H, but I don't want her around my S. I don't want him to have to witness what she is going through, I think he has had enough reality in his world lately, and we have worked hard to find our peace. SIL is claiming to see aliens in the sky and witnessed boats disappearing into the water in Cancun until THEY saw her watching, which is why they are after her....H and FIL have their hands full right now....

Lou...what is TX? I am thinking it is a mix of mental illness, possibly a breakdown along with substance abuse.

[LoisB]

Treatment, hospitalization (inpatient or out)