Received a text message from my mil today. Im ignoring it so just gonna vent about it here.
Well she said that he supposedly said he can't stand me, doesn't want me calling or texting him, he doesn't want to be friends, he wants me to Leave him alone. She said he has his closure from the marriage. He's over you and the marriage. She all he wants is to pick up his daughter and drop her off and get back without talking to you.
Well I don't call or text him. I've texted him later if he ask about meeting arrangements.
MIL is a whack job, but bear in mind too, you don't know what kind of nonsense H is telling her.
See an attorney and look into filing an order for temporary support. Make sure you are protected financially.
Your H is a recurring cheater and frankly, kinda out of his mind right now. He would have to do a LOT, LOT, LOT of work to become a person you should let back into your life again. Not impossible, but also, not super likely.
Focus on creating the best possible life for yourself and your kids. Focus on becoming the best YOU that you can be. If he happens to come back later, YOU can decide at that time whether you want him back or not (you might not!). But for right now, just protect yourself financially and move forward with enjoying your life. Pretend he's gone on a one-year ocean voyage, so you might as well have fun and focus on improving your own life.
Must be MIL from h#ll day, I had issues with mine as well! Would you be willing to block her number on your phone? No matter what your H is telling her, which would most likely be the typical MLC jibber jabber of nonsense, she does NOT need to be texting it to you. She is completely out of line and needs to stay out of your marriage, but because she sounds out of her mind, I don't think she will.
Do you need to have contact with her? If not, consider blocking her. To read and or hear her garbage brings no good into your world.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
The MLCer will rewrite history and will vilify you to others. I'm sure he's told his mother a bunch of BS and playing the victim right along w/it. Blood is thicker than water when it comes to family and they will believe him because he is family.
Now, about that MIL, block her calls and messages. You don't need to be listening to her spew as well. What's going on in your marriage is none of her business...but after reading some of the stuff she's said, I can understand why your h is having some issues, i.e., mommy issues.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So now he is going to strip joints. He was bragging all over facebook about what he got to do and got one of the dancers phone number. And talking about how he may be 43 but he still has "got it"
I think I am gonna have to just get rid of fb for awhile or delete him.
Good Move, delete h off your f/b. I did, it also saves temptation to snoop.
Shame to hear your MIL is taking sides and not trying to remain neutral, you are the mother of her grandchild if nothing else. Your h will be telling her what he wants her to believe and right now it's what he believes too - try not to take it to heart (which I do know is easier said than done) but down the path a bit they will be very sorry and embarrassed people. Don't communicate with her unless absolutely necessary, I did not talk to mine for months because of the rubbish she told people, my FIL started emailing me privately to give me the heads up to what expect next from her so I was prepared.
As for the strip clubs and all, he is acting out and trying to portray to the world he has it all now he is free and single, but to many and those who count all they will see is a sad deluded man who just left his family for no good reason.
Let's get the focus off him and his family and back on to YOU as you are the important one here. Getting you to start moving forwards with your own life and find your inner and outer smile again.
Like Lou said, delete him on FB. BTW, Trust me, no one is reading his stripper night posts thinking he is a lucky guy,..I know the temptation to snoop can be overwhelming. I was a huge snooper in the beginning, so bad that I had to move out to stop. Nothing good came of it, only unanswered red flags and lots of pain.
The less you know about his MLC antics, the better. It also helps to keep the focus on you and your children. That is why we advise blocking H and MIL. You will get to a point where you realize, it's just too much and you just don't want to know.
Hang in there. What are you doing for YOU this weekend?
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Do i just need to block him on fb only? I deleted my mil off weeks ago because i just got tired of her postings. He created an entire new facebook account since he left and added me on it. I accepted but now I am thinking why did i do that? He also created a twitter account and followed me on there. LOL
It really is hard not to take it to heart. He speaks it so much to any and everyone how he has no feelings for me anymore. That's the hardest part is him saying that. Which i know is the MLC monster but it still hurts.
I worked this weekend, came home and did school work. Tomorrow church and then a birthday party. I think next weekend I am going to plan to do something since she will be at her dads. I've got to take a break from school work and being stuck inside so much doing it lol.
He texted earlier tonight saying he was still coming Monday to my son's football game. I really will believe it when I see it considering what he did last week.
Thank you all for all your wonderful support and wisdom. This really is a tough road but I will make it. Someday, I will be so much better than I am now.
If I have done anything right, it was when I removed the temptation of W's facebook. It has brought me a lot of peace of mind not snooping. I would suggest you remove him on all your social media, for your own sanity. It's a lot harder to snoop when those things aren't options.
My W had to create a new fb account for all of her nonsense as well, she keeps it very private and only invites people that are accepting of her A to it. On her older fb account, she is still married. Can't make heads or tails of what they're doing and it is far easier if you remove yourself from it.
M: 38 W: 37 T: 20 M: 19 Kids: Stepson?20, S19, S16, D12 BD: 02/19/2015 (She moved out) PA Confirmed: 02/22/2015 (She is now living with OM) Dazed and confused: 09/13/2015
One last thing I read on his strip post status on fb that I wanted to talk about. He keeps saying as far as he is concerned he is single and he goes and does what he wants to do. Someone mentioned me and he said that he has no more feelings for me at all but he will be friends with me for our daughter and that's it.
