In the beginning, my H bailed on so many things that involved our son. I was so disappointed, our children are the innocent victims in this.
However, over time, H came back around and started making our son a priority again. In the last 6 months, I have seen true efforts to rebuild his relationship with him.
Give it some time, hopefully your husband will start to miss the children and make them a priority again.
He just started coming around and getting our daughter every other weekend. Which I am happy about that but he's still has nothing to do with my son. He promises him he will always be there no matter what happens with us. Promised him he would be at his football games but hasn't been to one yet. I know my son is hurting inside but he is not one to talk about his feelings. His real dad abandons him then the man he that raised him, my husband, just up and leaves. Our daughter prays every night for her daddy to come back. It just breaks my heart.
My wife will still tell people that I am one of the most handsome men she has ever seen in her life. Admits that she has affaired down. Says I am more intelligent, handsome, and will always be more successful than OM.
I can't say if it is normal or not, but it happening to me as well. :p
*Edit* Grammar
Last edited by late30s; 09/09/1507:20 PM.
M: 38 W: 37 T: 20 M: 19 Kids: Stepson?20, S19, S16, D12 BD: 02/19/2015 (She moved out) PA Confirmed: 02/22/2015 (She is now living with OM) Dazed and confused: 09/13/2015
My H said that I am beautiful, he loves me and I'm the best to be married to. But, he can't grow old without having the chance to become a Dad again...(OW is 29).
Last edited by Sotto; 09/09/1508:09 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Hi Haunted, it can be hard to understand things like this....and you may find yourself in a long tunnel with no cheese if you try my friend. Focusing on the distorted reality of a MLCer and trying to make sense of it will not serve you well.
Best to let him be and accept that some of this 'talk' doesn't make much sense....I know it's hard - but truly that is the best way to move forward.
Take care, Sotto x
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
haunted, Your h feels the need to add that you've not together any more to not only convince you of the situation, but also to remind himself as well. It's their "mantra". Also, there are going to be times that things pop out of his mouth that really don't make sense.
The best thing you can do is listen, sift through the garbage coming out of his mouth and go from there. If you sit and analyze every little sentence and action from him, you are going to drive yourself crazy. I know...you are new to this...but you can't make sense when they are irrational.
Keep the focus on you and your family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So he has talked about wanting closure with the marriage. I don't even want to take that step. But then he texts me and said he already has his closure because he's over the marriage and me.
They say all sorts of things. Believe none of what they say. Just let it roll off. Go check out Cali's saga, his MLCer did and said some interesting things, yet they are on the road to recovery. Mine will get really nasty when reality starts sneaking up on her. I'm not saying you condone what they're saying, just accept that it is the MLC talking -- somehow made it easier for me to accept. Continue to plug on away on you.
It has reached a point with mine that I can hold up a red candle and she will insist it is a blue pony ... I don't even know how to respond to it. I typically keep quiet and try to grab what small tidbits of wisdom I can.
Good luck, haunted. Try to stay positive.
M: 38 W: 37 T: 20 M: 19 Kids: Stepson?20, S19, S16, D12 BD: 02/19/2015 (She moved out) PA Confirmed: 02/22/2015 (She is now living with OM) Dazed and confused: 09/13/2015
