Just one thought - are you sure that stepdad bought it for S? or did ex just say that at the time so he wouldn't get in trouble for buying such an expensive item himself? Is it possible that he asked stepdad to cover for him when ex was the one actually buying it???
My mom and stepdad said the train was specifically for S. I called my mom to let her know about it and she was very angry. She said my stepdad would be rolling in his grave. But when I picked up the kids S told me his dad was setting it up for him in his room. I said if that's the case then it's fine. If not then I told s to let his dad know it was specifically bought for S.
S told me that he could hear his dad talking privately with the cop telling him all the stuff I took. In the car on the way home S told his dad it wasn't true and also told the cops it the train was the only thing I ever asked s to bring home. S also told his dad he knows the truth about why we got divorced. His dad told S if I hadn't been so bitchy about the divorce thing he probably wouldn't have gone through with it. What a piece of crap.
D is a mess. Crying and afraid I was going to jail. I told her everything is fine now. He certainly has no idea what he is making these kids realize about who he really is.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
His dad told S if I hadn't been so bitchy about the divorce thing he probably wouldn't have gone through with it. What a piece of crap.
Please.
I heard the same thing from my XW.
Garbage. All of it.
Take care.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
Thanks, Tad. I know it's garbage. Absolute garbage. Still makes me shake my head that four years later he can't take one iota of responsibility for what happened. And he probably never will.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
My ex doesn't either. Although the last thing I want at this point would be for him to wake up and realize what he lost. I don't want him back so I figure he's happier believing his nonsense.
So after the antics X pulled, he has the nerve to call me and complain about money. AND expect sympathy. HA!
He has been on medical leave for rotator cuff surgery and I haven't received any child support in June. Bills are tight, but I'm doing okay. He owes me over $1000 by the way, which is a lot of money. I called child support after the antics he pulled last Friday to see what was going on. They haven't received a payment from him since May 27. Child support called him to see what was going on. X claims he had child support pulled from his disability checks, but nothing has been mailed into the child support agency. He is really freaking out about this.
Yesterday he calls me in a panic because he agreed to pay for D's soccer fees and they came in much higher than he anticipated. He agreed to pay for D's fees if I paid for S's fees. S's fee is $400 and X was under the impression D's fees would only be $225. I explained to X a month ago before tryouts that if she stayed at the academy level her fee would only be $225, but if she advanced to the competitive level they would be significantly more. He argued with me and said that wasn't the case. I said "OK, whatever you say".
He found out yesterday that D's fee is $680. He called me and said he could cover it with a credit card but he needed my half of the money right away. LOL. I gently reminded him that I agreed to pay for S's fees and I certainly was not going to nor could I afford to pay for S's fees and half of D's soccer at the same time. He went dead silent (which is extremely unusual and actually somewhat frightening). He just kept repeating "that's a lot of money". He didn't seem to have a problem paying $550 for S's fees last year.
I told him to check into going on a payment plan. He said if I do that I'll have to pay a $25 late fee. I said would you rather pay $25 for a late fee or cough up money that you don't have all at once? He said he wasn't paying $25 for a late fee. I said then I guess you have made your choice.
And I know he's full of crap because I am on a payment plan for S's fees (which I tried to explain to him) but he says the club will not accept a payment plan. Well, apparently not from him. LOL.
So he's late on child support, calls the cops on me, tells the kids bad things about me and he expects me to have sympathy for him and to help him out? HA!
He texted me last night too to tell me the fee was paid, but it really hurt him. Good. I told him later on I would take on another fee for the kids, like their uniforms or school fees.
Sometimes I think he's losing his marbles. If he has any left to lose at this point.
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Well this explains the train business; it's probably worth something and I bet he was thinking about selling it before you asked S to bring it to your house. Must be expensive trying to support himself and his disabled wife! He sure traded down.
I'm glad to see that you are standing your ground w/your xh. I'm sure he had to eat a lot of crow before he called you about the fees since he was such an @sshole about the train. It's unfortunate that he's in a tight financial situation, but he should be watching his money a bit better.
I'm really sorry that he's put you in a money pinch, but make sure you stay on Child Support about the funds. I don't believe for a minute he had things set up w/his disability checks so that you get your child support. He may have thought it was done....but he should have checked on that periodically to ensure it was done properly.
If he's on medical leave from his job, how can he get disability pay? Does he actually get paid for being out sick or is it leave w/o pay?
All I can say about the man is that he should have thought about what he did to you and your son w/respect to the train set. Had he behaved in a proper manner, maybe you would have been a bit more sympathetic towards him and his situation. They always think the grass is going to be greener on the other side and when things get tough, they call whining about their problems and hoping that we will help them out. He's now having to face the consequences of his actions.
Hang in there!
Last edited by job; 07/01/1601:32 PM.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Ex was getting checks from his disability insurance while he was on leave. He went under the knife on May 10. I got one more support check after that so I am guessing he took two weeks vacation before he took disability. I haven't received a payment since. He's back to work now but it will be about a month before I start getting my support again.
Child support said they have no records of payment so if the support money (which he claims was taken out of his disability checks) doesn't come from his work soon he will have to pay it out of pocket. If he doesn't he will be in arrrears and they will add interest onto the back support he owes. And he knows from past experience that can add up fast.
He is spinning like a top
WH
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
Leave him spinning. It's his mess to clean up and he's going to have to figure out a way to get the child support caught up.
If Child support says that they have no record of payment, then they didn't receive it. I'm sure he'll come up w/the funds because he doesn't want to have to pay interest.
Sit back and watch the show...I have popcorn that I can share w/you. Around and around he goes and where he stops...no body knows!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
