Sandi, this was mentioned to a friend. How she will handle it when/if she ever comes to me could be different? I wasn't there but from my understanding if it was told to me exactly how it came out of her mouth... "At this point I think I'm done. But I am struggling and I have been thinking about going back. It would be the right thing for S4 ."
If she would bring it up to me, I think my plan will be to hear her out. Take lots of mental notes and then ask for some time to sleep on it and digest what she said. Then I can come her and get lots of good advise as far as how to move forward or stall out for a bit and make her pursue? Best plan I can think of on my own but I'm open to any suggestions.
On another note, had a good day at work for a change. Talked to S4 for a while tonight and XF didn't say much at all. I didn't try to talk to her either, she just seems a little distant again these past few days. Oh well, not my problem!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
So this week XF is being forced to do something she has avoided for at least a month. See my parents... Her and my mom had a fallout a little way back over everything going on and she has been scared to face it ever since. I have met her in the morning and afternoon on her days with S4 because my mother is our babysitter. I am away for work this week and wondering how that is going in XF's head.
I know it's none of my concern but a "face your fears" type thing? That was a major thing with XF because she looked at my mom as her own (because hers passed many years ago). Then after their disagreement she pretty much told me that sealed the deal in her mind... She thinks everybody hates her and maybe this week shows her that isn't true?
Oh well, back to work. Not gonna let it take up too much space in my mind but it is in there a little today.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Today has been a fairly good day. Nothing of excitement good or bad to report, just another day haha.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Feeling kinda weird today. Got a text from XF last night saying S4 fell asleep. So no contact with him either... Just in a blah mood and not sure why? I wish I could fast forward a few months and see where my life is leading me. The unknown is what is bothering me most I think.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I know sandi, I just feel sometimes like I am wasting my time... I know time is my friend but it feels hopeless at times
No particular reason, just how slow this proccess works. I know it is for the best that it takes LOTS of time, I just wish it didn't... I miss my family, I my my XF, I miss all the fun things we did. I just miss how life was a year ago!
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
I feel for you Uphill. I'm in one of those moods where I wish I had some answers, even if I don't like the answers. Being in limbo is hard. We miss what may never ever be again, but then again may. We all wish we had someone to give us an answer. Unfortunately (or fortunately - I'm still not sure which some times) that stopped when we stopped listening to our parents.
I know that even if I want my family back, it can't happen for the time being because my W has made a choice that there isn't going to be one for at least the foreseeable future. My family can't be put back together because one piece would not be there or be happy in the position. It still breaks my heart & I'm still dumbfounded by my W's choice even as I feel a great deal of compassion for her pain and struggle.
You say you're out of town. I always get a little extra unsettled with that since this all started. It is like one other little familiar situation/place is removed when I really don't need anything else like that.
Hang in there. Don't worry, our moods swing so d*mn much during this that we know that the funk wont last, and then it will be back, and so on. You're one day closer to the end of that funk.
Me: 50 W:43 S6, S3 M: 12 yrs. T: 17 M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14 S 5 Feb '15 D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry") DB Coach May '15 Wants proceed on D Aug '15 Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
Fortunately I got to spend some time with S4 before he went with XF for the night. (I hate sharing time!!!)
Unfortunately, I backslid a bit when XF came to pick him up. She came, I kept everything light and breezy. I personally think I handled everything textbook while she was here. She was in a terrible mood. One that cuts when she looks your way. No clue why and/or what I did... After she left I couldn't help but send a text message asking her, "did you have a bad day today? Or do I make you that miserable these days?"
STUPID! I never got a response. I didn't really expect to get one. I have no idea why I sent it but I did. Nothing good could have come of sending it, and I know that! But I couldn't help myself...
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Hi Uphill, it's okay - we all make these mistakes. In sending that text, you are putting into her mind that you are the root of her unhappiness. It's like asking someone not to think of a blue elephant. The important thing is to learn from the mistake and not rpeat it.
You say 'I couldn't help but send.' Actually, you can help it. Sending the text was a choice you made, and this is where working on self control helps. Next time, perhaps just divert yourself into something else. Or tell yourself - I won't send that tonight, I'll see how I feel in the morning. And normally the impulse passes.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I know sotto, I knew it wasn't good to do. I knew it would get no good results. The urge just over rode all rational thinking... I typed it, deleted, typed again, deleted. Then the third time I typed it, hit send.
It proved nothing. Accomplished nothing. And if anything set me back a little...
It just twisted my emotions too much.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
