She left me. Want her back.

[Cristy]

Hello FLman,

I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.

What are you wanting to accomplish by telling the OM's spouse? If your goal is to reconcile, telling the OM's spouse will do the opposite and drive your partner further away.

It would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Please call me to discuss our program at 303-444-7004.


Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

[Joe46]

A few questions, how old are you? And what ties do you have to the relationship? Finances, house, car, bills, pets?

[FLman]

Thanks. I'm 35 and no financial ties to the relationship

[FLman]

Thanks Joe46. I'm 35 and no financial ties to the relationship

Cristy -

By telling the other man's wife I hope to remove him as an obstacle. I know the fundamental problems are with me and her, but he's making it much harder to engage her.

He not only meeting the needs I should have but I can see from his emails he's an operator and is doing all he can to keep her away from me.

If his wife tells him it's me who told, I know I'm screwed. But if I can get her to A. end the affair and B. says she found out another way, I can get him out of the picture.

I realize that's a tall order and I cannot predict how the wife will respond.

I just feel like I have no shot until he's gone. We're not even living together now.

As for what I can do now, other than focusing on myself, is respond to her letter and validate more?

[Ontheup]

FLman

I would consider yourself as having had a lucky escape in that you are not married to her with no financial ties.

Why the hell would you want this person back to even consider marriage with when she has already treated you like this?

She wants out, she has told you point blank, so to save yourself from more pain let her have what she wants. Let her go and move on. You are young with a full life ahead of you. There are a million women out there who will treat you a whole lot better than this one has.

[Joe46]

FLman, Ontheup said what I was thinking. I know it hurts. It is scary. But this is no way to start a marriage. Stick with us on this board and the people here can help you through this. Detach from this situation. If I was in your shoes, I would cut all ties with her. No communication. I would than go GAL BIG TIME!! I am not saying run out into a relationship or go hook up. Go have some fun with friends and family. I am assuming you live in Florida because of your screen name? If so, what are you worried about? I would be hanging out on the beach checking out the ladies in the bikinis!!!

Follow the steps on here and read all the welcome posts Cadet posted, read self help books, speak with a IC. Become the best man you can be and be patient for the next special lady that comes along. You will be fine. NOW GET OUT ON THAT BEACH!!! Suntan Florida ladies!! I would join you if I didn't have to work! But I am there in spirit!! We could get Wonka to come too maybe!! LOL!!