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Hi NDY, just been catching up on your sitch. I finally L up this week asking them to draw out a consent order for the court. UK law. basically, it outlines what I want and it would be up to H to agree or not. This does not require the disclosure needed for a financial order EXCEPT for the finances related to the consent order.

A blessing for me, H says he does not want to see me short so will agree on 50/50 house and pension. This is the ONLY thing we are splitting. I am paying half the bills for the house etc as we speak and H earns twice that i do. Ironically, L says I will probably get maintenance. Not going there. Funny as H says I am too independent and he is fed up with living in my shadow. Plus the emotional abuse, of course!


Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18
EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13
Move to work abroad Sept 14
re establish contact with OW while away
D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15

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Hi smothy.

Cruddy when you are forced to L up but it's a necessity. It also goes a long way to relieving the stress. In my case I don't discuss anything with the WW to do with our separation. That's the L's job.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
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NDY, good to see your update. You sound strong.

Sorry to hijack, but I saw Smothy's post and have to comment: Smothy, I have dealt with divorced families for a decade and must urge you to not waive any of your rights at this point. You may sorely regret it and by then it will be too late. Listen to your lawyer, you hired him/her because you need expert advice and you are not one, and because this is emotional to you.

The financial inequality you describe is going to catch up with you. 50/50 is not fair when he makes twice what you do, and please seek maintenance if your lawyer says to.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
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Hi painter

No apology required.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 556
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Painter, thanks for the heads up. Really do not want any more than what I laid out. I think 50/50 is fair on both of us. I want the severance completely when I move and do not want H's money/ maintenance.

It would be interesting to see as at the moment he has money to spend on OWs for meals out, hotels etc.


Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18
EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13
Move to work abroad Sept 14
re establish contact with OW while away
D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,014
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hey NDY - I hear ya about L only converstaion. Outside of business with kids conversation consists of any of 4 single words. "Yes", "No", "Maybe", "Lawyer". Very sad about it sometimes but mostly just numb.


M: 6 T: 12
Kids: 2,4
BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015
EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
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Hey py.

Yea, sad but I'm ok with that. I'm in a different place now so it's ok for us to be reduced to this. Perhaps small progress with light convos will happen but right now she's still in the angry phase so it's all water off a ducks back.

But anyway. I don't care about that right now. WhT I care about is S10's birthday. I got him at 4 and it was just him and I. Everyone was late (as usual) so we had an epic nerf war anyway.

Then his pals turn up and my family turn up. The nerf war turned into all the boys (old and young) getting into it. It was epic. So epic that we had to rush to the cinema. Result? I forgot the birthday cake:-)

Then when we got back S10 wanted the final nerf war. But I had it all planned. I set up a fog machine and a strobe light. He had no clue and the game was he had to attack me.

I took a slow mo video of it and Facebook light up when people saw it.

Today? Only another nerf war. Brilliant.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
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Nice one. Light convo? Signs of hope?


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
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Brilliant! Sounds like we can all do with a giant Nerf war.

Great he enjoyed his party.


Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18
EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13
Move to work abroad Sept 14
re establish contact with OW while away
D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15

Joined: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,458
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NDY Offline OP
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Nah. Closest I came was her coming here and no fight. I was pretty detected though. And tonight when I dropped of S10 she for the first time came to the door. Smiled and waved at me and said thanks. That's about it. Nothing really.

Sh!t thing is that I've suddenly started renumerating again. I had this so under control and perhaps its because of the boys birthday but I'm struggling to keep her out of my head. For such a long time I had it. Totally had it under control but the last few hours I found myself back on the roller coaster. Need to get Clint back to shoot out those thoughts.

But when I dropped S10 off she was in joggies and a sweatshirt with her hair loosley tied back. Fek she is hot. Gotta stop thinking this way.

Last edited by NDY; 08/02/15 06:37 PM.

Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
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