I would do whatever you wanted. If you feel up to being around him, then go w/the flow. If you would prefer to just stay at home and chill out, then do so. It's your call. However, it does sound like he's trying to make an effort to do things w/you. Many of these nuts don't want to do anything for their spouse on any special day.
Enjoy your special day no matter what you decide to do.
Just my two cents!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hope you have a lovely day celebrating your Birthday! Another year older, 10 years wiser. Happy Birthday!
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
Thank you!! 46 today and feel great! Was woken by son, dog and kitten in bed, stepped on by all. Went on a mini morning walk and now ready to relax
I never replied back to H last night, decided to let it sit. When and if he TM a Happy birthday, if he brings up coming over to bbq, I will go with it. Seeing how we enjoyed the cruise, I am sure he would be fine. Having dinner made for me sounds pretty darn good and I do appreciate his offer.
I will try not to think of it as him just worrying about what others would think if he didn't do anything. I suppose at this point he has been pretty honest about himself.
Either way, I will enjoy my day!! Thank you for your birthday wishes and yes, I definitely feel 10 years wiser!
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Had a good birthday! Got a quick nap in too! As always, interesting interaction with H today with a dash of mixed messages.....
Got a Happy Birthday wish in the morning, I said thanks and joked about it being my big 29.
I did not bring up dinner. As you know, I was worried about him only offering as an obligation. I needed to know it was really something he wanted to do, and figured if it was, HE would bring it up.
About 3, I heard him from again:
H: you decide if you feel like chilling or want some bbq? Either way, is it ok if I drop by for a bit around 5? (This is exactly what I needed to know he was for real)
Me: we are chilling alright! Lol. I have ribs to make, but I had only gotten a small rack,...you are welcome to bbq with us but may need a steak or something. We will be here!
H: K
About an hour and a half later.....
H: I feel like I am interrupting your birthday chill time....what time are you eating? Maybe if I just stop by after for coffee and the dessert I am making right now? Or instead of a steak, I was going to pick up something to eat for myself, but if you would rather have burgers I can pick some up and bring over....
Me: hmmmm watcha making? You are not interrupting anything, it's totally up to you. The ribs will be on the grill in about 45 minutes. I have salad and bread too, there is enough for you if you want.
H: ok. Maybe I will eat then be there around 5:45.
Me: (thinking, I give up) OK, sounds good.
H: (reading my mind?) Lol...sorry....just don't want you to feel like you have to see me if you don't want to...but if your ok with it I'll head over in 15....
Me: (thinking we are both ridiculous) I enjoy seeing you! I just don't want to put you out! Lol. Please do whatever you feel like or are up for, that's what I want
So he showed up with a great bottle of wine, (sipping on now) and red roses. RED ROSES! He has not gotten me roses in years, he gets me the spring mix. I am really taken back by that. We had a good dinner, chatted, laughed, had fun playing with son and dog. In conversation, he said about 2 things he misses at home. He also complained about a couple of things at his place, including a mouse he had to catch. He helped me fix a couple things that needed tweaking here around the house.
I sense a vulnerability about him lately, something new. He is a very stubborn and proud man, so this is new all around for him. I sensed it on the cruise too....
Thank you again for all your birthday wishes. In spite of my sitch with H, it's been a good birthday this year. Better than years past. I think part of that comes from just feeling grounded with no expectations.....feels good
Roses!!???!!......
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Sounds like your birthday was great. A mixture of acknowledgement but yet some space. Glad it was a peaceful day.
btw - love the roses! What a thoughtful gesture.
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
I am very happy that your special day turned out to be a nice one. I'm very happy to read that he brought you roses! What a nice way to end the day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
