Oh I did text him after that..i said "you shouldn't have said that. A lot can change in 6 months *that's how long we have to wait after he is served this time to finish the divorce* but ok..your loss" and I said "funny thing is that I know the odds of you changing your mind are high and I don't think you could make me want you back after this" yeah I probably shouldn't have said that but he has hurt me and our girls ENOUGH and I have had ENOUGH
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Oops..there was supposed to be another post before that one..where did it go? Lol
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Here's the post that was supposed to be before that one...
I'm on my phone and don't have time to add everything I want to but for right now this is how my sitch is-talked to him Tuesday *I know i wasn't supposed to but me and the girls were missing him and I didn't want to wait around for months for him to tell us if he plans on coming back or not* anyway he said to tell our girls he is never coming back and it doesn't matter how I am or what I do I can't make him happy and he will not live unhappy anymore...i told him theres a lot I wanted different from a husband but he just doesn't care..he admitted he shouldn't be with her and he knows its affecting all of us *me,kids,his family,my family* but he just doesn't seem to care..he even said if him and her break up he doesn't want to come back..i just don't understand BC honestly even though I love this man and he is the father of my children he really doesn't have much to offer..everybody else sees she is just using him for money but he thinks they're soul mates and in love..like I said I can't type everything I want to..when he was back with me he had a note from her in his wallet that he lied to me about throwing away..here's exactly what she wrote to him.."you are amazing.you are mine and mine alone.soul mates forever baby.you have me completely.don't let anything change that. I love you.have a wonderful day my love"..she wrote this to MY husband..makes me sick..the whole thong makes me sick..i will let the judge and God take care of them and become the way I want to be and hopefully God will send me a man who I can make happy who also wants to make me happy and treats my kids right
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Barbie...I agree with the fact that you don't need that in your life. Whether things change, who knows, but as is- no thanks.
No need to burn bridges, but time to move forward with your life and let them play in the mud.
One favor- read through 4mykid's threads (the first two). It will take you 30 minutes...but there are some conversations she's had that seem VERY similar to yours, and I think she's on a path you could benefit from. Tell me what you take away from it if you can make time to read them:
There's a lot that happened before he came back while he was here and after he left that I didn't put on here but you try to save a marriage,family & a soul and to get told it doesn't matter how I am or what I do I can't make him happy is just sad..they've been together since about the beginning of march excluding the few days he was here and was faithful so maybe the affair hasn't had time to run it's course..everybody thinks after we go to court and the child support and spousal support are taken out of his checks and he can't buy everything for her anymore that they'll start not getting along..we shall see..they work together,live together with her ex bf and are always up each others butts I even know he gets fusses at at his job for being on the phone with her all day..they are already making future plans together and the girls said she bosses him around all the time..oh well I'm nothing like her and don't want to be like her so if that's what makes him happy so be it but I really don't think they will last that long..he was miserable with her after 3 months last time..he said bc she would always hit him and she was already talking marriage..now he says he was never miserable with her..he says things then says he didn't and he acts totally different when he isn't around her..idk anymore all I know is he has said and done things I don't think I could get over..shame on me for having one affair years ago but I am actually remorseful and repentant for my mistake..he has had 3 affairs with 3 different women not counting the ones over the years he wanted to have affairs with and he excuses these past 2 affairs by saying he was unhappy and wanted a divorce anyway and he doesn't feel bad qt all about doing it..nobody knows who this man is anymore..he has signs of being wayward,depressed,MLC and just being plain WEIRD..think its best for me and the girls to just let it go and move on after the D
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Anybody have any advice? Technically I'll be DB'ing in the meantime anyway but my ditch seems hopeless...she's nothing like I want to be..she belches & farts in front of him and bosses him around..she's kinda manly actually and she works with him and talks about man stuff with him..she has green eyes and black hair like he likes..I'm really feminine,kinda old school I rather stay at home with my kids instead of work and do the womanly stuff..she's also aggressive and kinda weird idk how to describe it but she seems to be the type hr wants and I'm opposite but I love the way I am and the way I want to be when I reach my goals..I'm not changing my beliefs and the way I want to be for anyone so I guess he's just not the right man for me? Idk anymore.. All I know is he left us here and barely gibes any money until we go to court and his parents and mine have to take care of his family which he should be doing but no he's off screwing some other woman and happy as a clam about it..makes me sick..part of me thinks things will change in the next few months and the other part of me says good riddance
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
He should have been served again within the past few days..oldest girls started school today and I was missing him so I made the mistake and texted him this "I know you won't answer and don't care but I miss you..I'm starting to forget what your voice sounds like..wish I could talk to you but oh well..girls started school today" and his stupid girlfriend texted me this back "he doesn't have the phone right now but I will be sure to tell him that you texted and he thought the girls started school yesterday so I'll tell him they started today. Thanks and have a blessed day" I sure didn't think she would have the phone..seems the more we pray that he gets away from her the closer they get...I guess its just time to give up on him coming back..he's with his "soul mate and love of his life" makes me sick a man could leave his beautify wife and children for a trashy bossy ugly woman who sounds very uneducated and vulgar and aggressive also..I guess there's no hope anymore BC they're already making plans for the future...she even takes pics of my babies with her phone BC that's her "future step babies"..wish I could punch or kick something BC this is so frustrating and mind boggling
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Should I just give up for good? There's no getting him away from her anyway..he's already said he's never coming back and I can't make him happy and that hr will be with her for a long time
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
I guess I have to give up on him coming back..he hasn't even been calling the kids at all..me going dark for weeks and then having slip up ups and texting or calling him doesn't help anything..him and her both want me not to call or text..he doesn't want me no matter what I do..he wants her..why I will never know..this crap [censored]..I'm so lonely BC the only people I talk to are my parents and his..it feels like he died..she controls everything he says and does..I have goals and 180's I will work on but as far as GAL my vehicle is breaking down and I barely have any money and don't speak to anyone..most exciting thing I'm doing soon is getting baptized this weekend and maybe me and the kids will be going to Florida with his parents in September..it's like he doesn't care about anyone anymore except for her
Me-30 H/STBX-32 Daughters-10,7,18 months M-9 years T-11 years A few BD's since 2011 H left-March 16,2015 H came back-June 6,2015 Kicked husband out BC he was still seeing OW-June 26,2015
Reading your posts, its clear that you have so much hurt and anger and resentment. This is the hardest thing any of us will ever do. Try to keep your head up as much as you can. I would highly recommend watching the TED talk by Shawn Achor on Happiness. Then take the 21 day challenge. Im sure you'll surprise yourself when you see how many good things there are in this world for you.
As for your questions on giving up and hope, thats really up to you. In my opinion, you have to let him go. Let him live his own life. Truly, drop the rope and let him go free. Not just physically, but emotionally. Stop carrying that weight around. Im not saying to move to a new relationship....Im saying to stop caring what he does right now. Stop worrying about how long he may be with OW, stop worrying about the way he treats his kids, stop worrying about the horrible way he has treated you. Thats all on him. He's in the thick o the infatuation stage - none of the other stuff matters to him right now.
Instead of focusing on him, and on OW, focus on YOU. Are there other GAL things you can do - through meetup groups? through the library? through a craft store? etc. Its time to get your mind off of him and on to you.
