Not sure of the specifics of your sitch Epo. But there was a great poster here a short time ago that was fond of asking all of us:
"Will what you want to do move you closer or further towards your goal?"
Personally I've found that my natural inclination is to screw things up from a DB standard. Yep, my way = why I'm here. The DB way = getting myself out of this mess one way or the other.
So if I ever want to do something; reach out to my W, send her a funny text, reply to an email as I normally would etc. I just don't. I figure if I want to do it, it's probably wrong.
Big hug to you either way,
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Thanks everyone. I just ended up texting BIL that I wish I could have been there and I would like to see home before he leaves to say good bye. PigPen-I do agree with you, I get these feelings in my stomach and I think "maybe I should do the opposite"
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Having a much better day today! It has been raining for 10 days straight here so today I found an indoor bounce house place right by our house. S4 and I spent two hours there having a blast.
update - not much to report except I had to call H because our 75 gallon fish tank (his pride and joy) was making a bad noise and I don't know anything about the tank. His fish and tank like I said are his pride and joy. He would sit and stare at the fish for easily an hour when he lived here. Since he moved out he let it go. I have been cleaning the glass and taking care of it, to the best of my ability. I guess he lost interest in that too all of a sudden.
He walked me through fixing the noise on the phone and as I was trying to get off the phone he wanted to talk about the schedule for this coming week. This seriously pisses me off because we have a set schedule at the moment and every week he wants to call and talk about it. What is there to talk about? Your days/nights are this...until Tuesday when we meet with the mediator.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Thursday is our 10 year wedding anniversary. H will have our son that night so my sisters and friend are going to dinner at the newest restaurant in town and hitting the town after. I hope I can keep it together to have a good time.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
so there is something I am not "getting" and need help/advice on - I read over and over again the question you vets ask about what it is your spouse complained about, etc. What are you doing to change it, better yourself, etc? The thing is when I say we never fought I mean it, we never fought. If I was the one upset or nagging he would literally sit there and stare at me or just say "I'm sorry". It was so frustrating that I became a door mat. That I do know and I am learning to stop doing that. I guess I just don't have a clear understanding of what I was doing that was wrong, per se, because I have nothing to go on from his words. Even the reason for him wanting a divorce was "we grew apart". He is an avoider, he will avoid a dispute or argument until the pot boils over.
The things I want to work on for me:
Being a more patient mother not raise my voice
Standing up for myself in an assertive way instead of spiteful or rude way
Stop checking my phone to see if he called or texted me
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Just got an email from H's lawyer about the agenda for the collaborative meeting tomorrow. It gave me a panic attack. Reading about division of marital assets and visitation for the child is making hyperventilate. It is so real when I get emails like this. Breathe....
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
