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ep0215 Offline OP
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H and I just did our text/call each other at the same time thing that used to happen All. The. Time. We would always remark how we just knew instinctively when the other one needed them. I texted him about the type of toothpaste I switched S4 to. (He finally upgraded to kids toothpaste and not toddler) big milestone for the little guy. He was calling because he as at CVS and needed help picking out stuff for S4.

It's moments like these that make me so mad that he just gave up and walked out.


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
S4
Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
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ep0215 Offline OP
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Today was interesting. I met with the mediator by myself prior to our meeting jointly next week. I came with my time share schedule options ready. The reason I don't want our current schedule to continue is because it is too choppy once school begins. She starts the meeting by stating that this will be easy since we already have a schedule agreed upon. H met with her yesterday and must have told her we were going to continue doing what we were doing. When I explained the schedule and my concerns she agreed that it won't work for a 4 year old. The challenge now is giving him "fair" time with him and dealing with his work schedule.

I am worried this is not going to go over well and will set any progress made so far back. If there is any. It's just he has been really friendly and way less angry lately. I know I have to do what is in the best interest of my son and not worry about that.

Any thoughts on this? How to approach the change in the meeting in a "solution oriented" way?


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
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Originally Posted By: ep0215
I am worried this is not going to go over well and will set any progress made so far back. If there is any. It's just he has been really friendly and way less angry lately.

EP,

Let me quote something that Zues126 posted to me early on in my sitch, which at the time I didn't believe but turned out to be more or less be true.

This is probably to 'keep the peace' so you are cooperative with her plans, and to cake eat until she finds other ways to meet her needs.

While this may or may not apply in your case, I think anything you see as "progress" right now should be taken with a grain of salt.

Do what is best for you and your S, H can deal with the outcome of his decisions on his own!


Me:36 W:30
M:2.75 T:7
BD: 4/2015
ILYBNILWY: 5/2015
W Moved Out: 5/2015
W filed for D: 7/2015
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ep0215 Offline OP
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Thank you Jedi, that does help. I realize he is eating cake. He wants to get divorced from me but still have us/son in his life as much as possible. It just isn't feasible with his work schedule, I mean he wasn't there 50% of the time when we lived in the same house and you want that now? I will continue to do what is best for me and S4.

another question - it has been eating at me that the majority of our friends and family do not know we are divorcing. Our 10 year anniversary is next Thursday. I do not want to be flooded with Facebook posts that say "happy anniversary". He deleted his FB account the day I found out he was TM the OW. I want to post a statement like "H and I are in the process of moving forward separately. Please respect our need for privacy and support as we transition through this process". One I think it will make things "real" for him since he hasn't told anyone yet. Have any of you done this? Is that going to hinder or help? I am just unsure but I don't want to keep living a lie either.


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
S4
Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 412
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ep0215 Offline OP
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bump


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
S4
Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 412
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ep0215 Offline OP
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Headed out to see Jurassic Park with my sister, can't wait!


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
S4
Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 412
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ep0215 Offline OP
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Why does he have to keep lying to me about everything? When I called to say goodnight to S4 last night before going to the movies he said he was going to dinner with his parents, just his parents and s4. His words. I found out on FB this morning that it was a goodbye dinner for his brother that is moving with the entire family.

I am so sad. I wanted to say goodbye to him and had no idea it was his going away dinner. I feel like I am being snuffed out of a family I have had for 13 years. Gawd it hurts so much. Why can't he ever just tell the truth? Do I call him out on it? I don't want to be a door may that can continue to be lied to. Part of me wants him to know. You lie. You get caught.


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
S4
Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 412
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ep0215 Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 412
Bump


Me:33 H:36
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M:10 years
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Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
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Originally Posted By: ep0215
Why does he have to keep lying to me about everything? When I called to say goodnight to S4 last night before going to the movies he said he was going to dinner with his parents, just his parents and s4. His words. I found out on FB this morning that it was a goodbye dinner for his brother that is moving with the entire family.

I am so sad. I wanted to say goodbye to him and had no idea it was his going away dinner. I feel like I am being snuffed out of a family I have had for 13 years. Gawd it hurts so much. Why can't he ever just tell the truth? Do I call him out on it? I don't want to be a door may that can continue to be lied to. Part of me wants him to know. You lie. You get caught.


Well ... technically he did not lie ... He just did not tell you everything. Regardless WAS have 'fired' you ... and will only give out information on what they percieve is a 'Need to know' basis.

I understand your hurt here, calling him out on it will give you a chance to vent but does that help your cause? Get you closer to your goal? You can contact BIL and wish him well, DO NOT bad mouth H to him, his family will side with him .. take the high road here.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



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Hang in there good woman. My wife is continually lying about little crap too. Stuff that dosent even matter. It seems like once the lying starts it just becomes a habit. An addiction even. Then again Im just three weeks into even knowing about her treachery.

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