She says she hasn't been able to sleep lately and too many thoughts rolling through her head. All I said was yeah I've been having restless nights too and she wanted to start talkign about what I'm thinking...etc I told her no thanks I'm good. Why get drawn into something that will undoubtedly turn negative at this point I went to take a nap.
Later this afternoon we were doing ok, she was reading me poems and I was listening. She tried to talk about past relationship stuff and how things were bad even before the pain meds and the A. I told her I dont want to talk about this I'm going to get going (I had a meetup group thing to do anyway) she yells out the door "you know this fake happiness stuff isn't going to last"
I didn't even reply and left. I had a great time at the meetup group it was nice to socialize outside of my work circles and family friends for once.
I wanted to tell her this isn't fake happiness for the first time in a long time I AM actually happy even with her stuff and her A...etc I know I can't control her into giving it up or even wanting out marriage again. If she does end up leaving us for good I know I have in fact pulled out all the stops with the book and the forum and the coaching. I also know that I deserver better than what she has been giving me.
So the last 2 days she has been hinting that she might know what she has done wrong it goes somethign liek this
"I dont feel like the same person on the oxycontin" "I feel like I know what right and wrong are but just dont care at all about them, except when it comes to the kids" (but I know that part isn't even true with her leaving the evening of our sons birthday to drive 7 hours to be with OM and her staying with the OM after he broke his arm)
She is like trying to trick me into saying I agree that she has changed and then ask what I think has changed.
Give me a break! If you want to talk about [censored] you have done wrong I will listen to you BUT I'm not going to play games with you on what I think you have been doing wrong and you'll admit to the things you think that I think I know or some [censored]. She is 4 years older than me but acting like some teenager with these games.
Earlier today while at lunch with my son and my WW she made some comment about how she has a chef for life all I do is raise an eyebrow at her. (I'm thinking wtf but i display a yeah right attitude)
Later during my nap (i've been doing that nowadays because why not!) she approaches me and asks me if I hate her.
I reply "no" but give no details and go back to trying to fall back asleep after a few minutes she comes back and asks me if I want to talk about the comment I made about florida a few days ago I reply no thanks and ask if she wants to talk about something. She says no I try to go back to sleep a few minutes later she asks me again if I want to talk and If i'm mad. I said nope i dont want to talk and no i'm not mad but if she wants to talk I'll listen, she lays on the bed touching me for a second and looking like she wants to say something but doesn't and the song "way you lie" by Eminem and Rihanna comes on my phone at that moment...TOTALLY appropriate!! haha couldn't have been more ironic!
She ends up leaving to see a friends without talkign about it while I end up not being upset or torn up about any of the nonsense. She wants to keep playing games and doesn't know what to do when I dont.
She is like trying to trick me into saying I agree that she has changed and then ask what I think has changed.
Give me a break! If you want to talk about [censored] you have done wrong I will listen to you BUT I'm not going to play games with you on what I think you have been doing wrong and you'll admit to the things you think that I think I know or some [censored]. She is 4 years older than me but acting like some teenager with these games.
Yep!
If you are interested, I have started another thread about WW's.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I'm away on Army stuff this weekendAnd of course now that I ignored her all day she is blowing up my phone nonstop. I don't rant to talk to her at all because I'm pissed off due to seeing her on the phone with that guy in the middle of the night last night. But I don't want her to sense my anger either.
Ughhhh do I just ignore the calls until another day??? Do I text her and feign sickness???
