So, what's your next step? Are you going to file or sit on the thought of filing for a while?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
He filed already. it's just at a stand still. Maybe she will push him since I emailed. I'll send another soon and then ask what's my next step.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
NAP I have not read your entire sitch, just the current thread so far. I was curious how long it has been since the last missed Court date, and if you two are using different attys?
I understand how you feel about OW showing up places, my H never thought that was something that I should have feelings about either. My heart breaks for your kids.
We have had every court date postponed since he filed in June 2014. The last one was canceled with no new date last October 2014. We have agreed on most and are using the same attorney. The attorney is the one who says we can't do something we agreed to. My stbx also seems to not follow through.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
not sure what it is that you want to do that you can't, so I can't comment there. It seems odd to me that no new court date exists and after all this time the case was not dismissed. If H doesn't follow through and you stop contacting your atty I am sure that it will be. It just depends on how long it takes the court to notice that a dead case is sitting on their docket. From what you say it has been almost a year. ( the court may have had catch dates that you don't know about) Again I do not know your full sitch, but rather than a divorce decree perhaps a dismissal will shock him? I can't help myself for being hopeful. you need to make your own decision.
Yes I know it's a bit odd. Stbx hired her but we are both going to use her since we agreed on most items. The attorney has an issue with my support being able to go back and review his pay. And to pay the kids child support as long as they're in school after 18. I cannot make attny do anything because stbx hired her. I too was wondering how long before it's actually dismissed in the court. I was told I cannot file on my own now because there is already a case open? Last time stbx and I talked about it he was just going to agree and be done. Nothing has been done as far as I can see.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Tuesday is my stbx 40th birthday. I found out today while I was at my sons football game that my sbx mother in law, sister in law, brother in law and of course the new girlfriend they're giving him a birthday party tonight. I had not taking the kids to get his gift yet. I thought long and hard about it and decided to go to the mall to get the football jerseys the kids wanted to give him so he could wear it tonight and watch the game. I also had an ulterior motive she would have to look at him wearing it all day knowing that I got it for him and dropped it off at the house with the card and of course that the three of us signed. I know that was being a little devious but oh well. Stbx told my son to text me right away and say he loved it and thank you very much. She has him on a bit of a lockdown and he cannot text or call when she's around. Stbx does the same and buys gifts for Christmas or birthdays Mother's Day. I did want to get it for him but yes I do have to say I use the opportunity to stick it to her. I just wondered how many others buy gifts for their acts on behalf of the kids and if that's normal?
Last edited by NotAgainPlease; 08/23/1504:40 AM.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Today my stbx came to pick up the trailer so he and my son can go cut/split about 3 cords of wood for the winter. Usually last 2 years. Nice of him!
I kind of had a flashback this last week when my girlfriend's daughter broke up with her boyfriend. I felt like she was living my life. Her boyfriend had a rough upbringing. They are 22. He likes to party, drink too much and hang out with his friend. He is verbally abusive to her as well. I had to tell her that is life with an alcoholic even high functioning is unhealtjy. She is young and does not need that in her life she can't change him, alcohol always win over our relationship. It was really sad as I was telling her this. She like me is a fixer and thinks that she can fix him.
I am also very codependent and grew up with an alcoholic father but she didn't. And I think it is easier for her to see now and end the relationship unlike me.
Also adding that my stbx was raised in an alcoholic family i to think he is codependent. Which makes sense as to why he always seems to come back, want to text,help out, etc and now go to get wood. All of this when he has a new "the love of his life" for the last almost 2 years. Maybe since she's long distance and the only sister on weekends he still needs a fix? I don't know? Yes unless I figure out my codependency issue and how to stop it will continue. Most of the "love" he was there but I just can't let him go and be a part of my life. My father left when I was young, alcoholic and verbally abusive and I guess that has affected me I don't want to lose stbx as being a part of my family. I am okay with the not being love heart but I don't want to lose him as a person in my life.
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
The other day I had a text conversation with Stbx. It ended up making him mad. He yelled and called me the usual names. And I stop texting him and ignoring him. The next day text me good morning blah blah blah blah blah. I answered and one or two words. He obviously didn't think I should be mad?? Then the day after that he went to the football gamemail with our service S15. I texted I hope they had a good time and to see when they'd be home. He texted I'm sorry for getting mad the other day..
M15 T19 D13 S13 BD Affair 9/13 S 11/13 D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together. Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
