A new foundation

[LoisB]

OH! And, I almost forgot.

So, I'm sitting in the office on Thursday alone. Hadn't put any make up on because I didn't have any appointments.

D21 face times me. Great.

I answer and she is sitting with a room full of people and my mom and my little nephew who is 6 months old and I haven't met yet.

My mother sees me and exclaims, "My God you look terrible!"

Well... Mom. Yep, I do. I have been living in a pressure cooker for nearly a year, parenting alone without any help from you. I'm tired and my skin has broken out dealing with the stress.

It didn't really impact me until later after talking to D21 and hearing how they are judging me about my continued homeschooling of D12 and how I want to move to Asheville.

I felt angry. If you don't want to help, fine... BUT, Don't judge me. I may feel differently about staying here if I had help to get D12 into school. But, I don't. And, according to the special ed teacher/tutor I can barely afford, I'm doing the right thing by continuing to homeschool.

Anyway, needed to let that off my chest here, as opposed to ripping my mother's face off.

[LoisB]

Found a dead mouse stinking up my office yesterday. I had spent Tuesday in Watertown producing the paper and, apparently, the little guy fell from the ceiling and landed in a wooden chair.

D12 was with me and took it as a clear sign to get the heck outta upstate NY. She promptly removed all personal items from my office and packed the car.

The dead mouse has moved me to consider this last year. Consider what I want. Consider who I am.

The D talk has messed with my head again and it's swirling. Having a hard time focusing.

D12 is miserable.

I'm digesting the last year of my life and trying make sense of it all. And, hoping it will help me to move forward to a place which works better for us.

[LoisB]

In return for the tool issue, he is asking for arrearage on the child support.

[Ginger1]

what were these tools worth? Like thousands and thousands of dollars?

[LoisB]

It's a really, really long story Ginger. I've been at this for awhile. My situation started in January 2012.

They weren't worth the amount being argued.

[AJM]

<sigh> From here, Heather, you need to figure out how to settle the darn thing and be done with it. You may need to b*tch slap his lawyer if you can. To let him know what the terms are, ya know? But do that after you finish the legalities. The focus is to get the legalities done and then worry about personalities.

The stress you feel? Yeah, been there. It's no fun but it does end when you finish the legalities. Or thereabouts. Or really, it ends when you say it does. The stress that is.

The drama on the other hand? That may go on as they grapple with the new Heather.

Ashville? I missed a few things in your situation. But if Ashville is the destination, congrats! I think you'll like it there. And they have some great beer and chocolate, although some like the wine. The area is awesome no matter what.. I try to make it over there a few times a year. Some of my favorite beer in that neck of the woods.

Homeschool vs. ... ? Um, who really cares what the others think? It's your daughter. It's your decision. Who cares what those that live so far away and feel entitled to judge, think? Your "wusband" walked away. Your mom? Don't get me started on my thoughts there

Do what YOU think you need to do for the best interests of your daughter and put it to rest. Let at least that one thing completely go, right? (you likely have already, but if not... and if so, consider this support for making a decision and letting the world be damned).

AJ

[LoisB]

AJ,

Thanks so much!!!

Big hugs to you.

I have a phone interview with a newspaper outside of Asheville on Monday.

Less money, but much less stress and I'd be able to supplement with commercial writing.

[Ginger1]

I've been here since 2012. Actually, 2008:) I'm a vet. I've been following your story and know about the tools. But I never did catch how much they cost and I asked to see if he really truly has grounds and what the fight is worth. I know that in a perfect world he owes you big for abandoning his kids and the house and leaving you with all the responsibility. There really isn't even a price you can put on it. I just hate to see you waiting longer to have this divorce over with and not having your child support check come on a regular basis.

[LoisB]

He has been provided with a list of the tools and where they are--with addresses and phone numbers--all mutual friends who did favors when he left.

He had 2.5 years to get his crapp and had a month after I told him we were leaving.

I just resent having to stop my life when there is nothing to fight over... And if he thinks I'm repaying him the amount of arreage they are taking out... Oh boy.

[LoisB]

I can think of one major tool.