All I Wanna Do Is..Get A Little Closer #12

[Joe46]

I don't think you are stepping on the crazy train. What you are expressing is what everyone feels most of the time. Who REALLY wants to be alone? Even the guys on that "Alone" show on History channel get lonely sleeping in their tents with only bugs, cougars and hungry bears for company!! I think these things all take time. We have all been hurt badly. Our R did not end up like we planned. It takes time to trust again, open up again and put ourselves out there. I was listening to this speaker the other day. He is a pastor on a show I record on Sunday morning. He said something that really hit home with me. He was talking about walls. Walls we put up to keep ourselves from getting hurt again. He said the same walls we put up to keep people out are keeping us in! Your time for a new R will come. When you are ready. And when that special guy comes along and sweeps you off your feet!! It will happen when it is time to happen!!

And it's not my fault you live so far away from me!!! LOL!!

[HeavyD]

Yeah, the loneliness is crushing at times. That is when I force myself to get out of the house, even if it's for solo gardening or walking the dog. SOMETHING.

[Georgiabelle]

Thanks Wonka, Joe, and Heavy D. Wanna hang out? We can do the "Just Dance" on the Xbox and I make mean cocktails from my bartending days. You may hate me the next day, however, you will forgive me for giving you a headache:)

I allowed myself to take a quick ride on the crazy train express yesterday. Sobbed on the way home (and it wasn't just traffic) and finally heard something that made me laugh so hard on sports radio. It was a Twitter exchange between the GF of a former Saint and another former Saint. That is GB's kind of humor. Still cried when I got home. Snuggled with my big Aussie mix. A good sob can be cathartic, eh? Went through the "why didn't I know?" and "how could he leave his kids" and "why didn't he....?" Waste of time. Will never know the whys. A good friend of mine in CO told me not to run with scissors. Love him:)

S5 comes home today. I have missed him these last 3 days. He is sooooooo cute and cuddly.

Ding me for this but if X Mr. GB sends me another text saying "R(his gf) says....", then I may have to type back, "X Mr. GB, R has a mustache. Is she going for the Duck Dynasty look?"

I would never, ever do that. I do get tempted. Let's stay off the crazy train and enjoy a ride on the Tuesday trolley, shall we?

Thanks for reading and sharing insight, words of wisdom, and anything else. I do appreciate it:)

[Joe46]

Wanna hang out? We can do the "Just Dance" on the Xbox and I make mean cocktails from my bartending days. You may hate me the next day, however, you will forgive me for giving you a headache:)

Okay belle!! Hanging out I think would be a blast!! Your sense of humor and mine, WOW!! "Just Dance" on the Xbox would be a blast!!

You have an Aussie mix? My D12 loves Aussie's!! Glad you had a snuggle buddy!!

Sorry you had a rough drive home!! But glad S5 will be home with you today!!

Your friend in CO gave you some good advice!!! Here is some more!! NEVER eat yellow snow!!!!

[uRworthy]

Hey G. You know, you feel how you do. There are no right or wrong feelings. It's what you do with them that matters.

This stuff doesn't go linear. It goes up and down and around. Sometimes you have to double back through some feelings to leave them behind for good.

So, no being so hard on yourself. You loved deeply. You don't get over that easily. If you did, I would be concerned.

Totally understandable that you don't feel ready to date. You get there when you do. There is no timetable.

Here's how I always felt. Sometimes I was taking great big leaps and other times tiny little steps and that was ok. You get to where you need to be in your own time and your own way.

As long as the steps you are taking are mostly forward, you are alright. No worries, yea?

[raliced]

I'm baaaaack. Did you guys miss me? I spent the week with 2 senior citizens with mobility issues and 3 crazy kids and (drum roll....) I survived! Water parks, theme parks, cheesy gift shops, cashew milk ice cream, minivans, 80s music, tantrums in public-it was a reality show minus the fame and paycheck... Haters gonna hate:)

Hmmm...did you travel in a tricked out van and solve any mysteries while on your road trip? I think I could watch that reality show...

Even though I had a great week and had dinner with a friend last night, I just think "can I ever be in a R again?" I just don't know. I've said it before that I read sitches where people are "anxious" to "see what is out there" (I never feel this urge. Lots of guy friends-I know what is out there) and all of the qualities they want in their next R. I just cannot. go. there. And I realize it's because our friends and family want us to be happy, however, my friends and family keep saying "this is a great time for you" and "don't you want to meet someone new?" No, actually I don't even know if I care. I hope I don't sound jaded and like a downer. I just cannot imagine being in any kind of R. Zero. Nothing. And I have a very vivid imagination. Maybe I will become a crazy cat lady. Scratch that. I am crazy-just one cat.

GB- I'm pretty sure I have said something similar over on my thread. As much as these boards are a source of comfort, when it comes to the subject of a future relationship, and people writing about how they look forward to it and how amazing it will be....well I mostly feel like an outlier. First - I feel no desire for a new relationship. Second- when I even entertain the possibility that such a thing could occur, I get skeeved out about the notion of bringing someone new around my kids and the thought of someday merging households, merging finances, merging pets......well, it just all seems too overwhelming. I trust that eventually I may feel differently - but for the moment I am okay marinating in my indifference.

Ding me for this but if X Mr. GB sends me another text saying "R(his gf) says....", then I may have to type back, "X Mr. GB, R has a mustache. Is she going for the Duck Dynasty look?"

I would never, ever do that. I do get tempted.

Well, should you ever succumb, please do report back so that I can live vicariously through you.

[Joe46]

GEORGIABELLE!!!! Where are you??? I miss your funny stories!! Come back to us!!!

[Georgiabelle]

Omg!!! I have missed everyone here. I thought my ego took a beating but I bet Tom Brady's took a massive hit when he saw the courtroom drawings of "Deflategate."

I have had a series of GB debacles. So many that my x MIL said that she is bleaching that dark cloud over my head. :-). However, in the grand scheme of life, most are funny and life is good. Long update tomorrow. Pinky promise!

One snippet. I'm on day 2 of "no male contact" outside of my immediate circle. I have needed to regroup in many ways and this helps me focus. A friend is giving me a t-shirt if I make it to Tuesday. I will say that when I was asking the universe for help during this process to help me deal with a few things, my phone immediately buzzed. I looked with one eye and the client I have a massive crush on, messaged me a meme (and of course his avatar is of him shirtless). Oh universe.

I have some funny stuff to share. I've been reading along and just regrouping. Hugs to you all!!!

[kml]

Oh no, stay away from the client with the shirtless avatar. No guys with selfies with their shirts off taken in the bathroom mirror either. Don't ask me how I know

[Georgiabelle]

Ha Ellie! Typically I say the same thing. Shirtless selfies have a tendency to scream "McD-bag!" However, he's a fitness model and an excellent dad. Swoon. Drool. Sigh.