Finally, letting go of the rope. (Smothy 8)

[Smothy]

After this conversation he gave me a hug and said ILY. Did not reply. Strangely, feel better knowing this 'truth'.

[Zues126]

Sorry smoth. That stinks.

You know what has to be done. The M. WAH. It all has to be let go. DBing is great, but it can empower denial about how things will turn out. He's left you and is with other woman while getting the D finalized.

I hate what he's doing. I don't care what you've done, I wish he was different, that he'd had the strength to stick it out, give yourselves another chance, accept some harsh realities about the inability of any M to be perfect. I wish your life didn't have to be blown up by his weaknesses. And I wish that you had some comfort while he's medicating with his harem.

But you have to walk the path you know is right. To act with the character you wish he'd had. And that path is away from him now. Not because you're walking away from him, but because he's walking away from you, and you can't follow where he's going.

Praying for some comfort for you today Smothy.

Hey DB boards- I'm seeing a lot of pain today. It seems to be a big day here. Let's blow up the forums with some good will.

Where's Bob?

[NDY]

I'm with Zuese. Where's Bob?

[Azzork]

Sorry about all of that Smothy. Its hard deciding whether the truth or the illusion is better or easier. For me, Ive been assuming the worst case illusion through my whole situation - that way, whatever I find cant be any worse.

Wishing you the strength you need.

[mattdad]

Dang good woman Im as sorry as heck for you. Reading this thread was depressing.

[Painter]

After this conversation he gave me a hug and said ILY. Did not reply. Strangely, feel better knowing this 'truth'.

I always feel better once I know the truth. It may be painful, but you know what you're dealing with, you have firm ground under your feet and you're not waiting to see what the other person decides or does before you make your move.

I'm sorry for your situation... it's tremendously painful place to be in.

Since Bob is off GALivanting, I'll post something I'm sure he'd approve of - it's from my 'daily bread', a little box of cards with Bible quotes that a friend gave me. I read one every day and quite often they feel very appropriate.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." - Psalm 46:1

[Sotto]

I'm sorry to hear that Smothy. I guess at least it gives you a clear indication that H is not 'in' the M just now. And he likely will not be for some time if he is in an active PA with someone else.

I guess you can make your own decisions accordingly. No need for any more Q's just now. The situation is quite clear to you.

Yes, he loves you - but does he have anything good to offer you right now. No - I don't think so. In time perhaps - but you really need to detach from this now, or it will pull you under.

So sorry things have been so tough recently xx

[Huddy]

Hi Smoothy

Double agent indeed. Sorry for that shocking news. So, he said, ILY? That sounds like guilt. Anybody who loves you as part of a relationship wouldn't do that.

[Pyrite]

sorry Smoth . On t the bright side, the only way is up. I guess you might be surprised to see such cosmiseration, because you might not feel it is such a bad thing. I've been there, and have been taken aback. "I" have put myself through so much pain over things that W has said and done and done in a daydream that when finally confronted with something abhorrent that she actually had done - that I was sorta over it, numb.

Along with the numbness there is something really powerful about these moments. It can be crystal clear to you that he cannot hurt you anymore than he already has. So whatever tomorrow brings, you dealt with worse yesterday. How are you going now?

[ep0215]

I was so sorry to read this Smothy. I agree with everyone that knowing the truth is empowering and will allow you to move forward now. How are you today? I hope you were able to get some sleep last night and maybe feel a little bit of closure