Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11
#2592038 07/28/15 04:37 AM
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 493
B
BEClem Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 493
It's over everyone. Wife told me she filed for divorce. There is no way she is changing her mind. It's over.

I'm really drained and tired. Going to try and get some sleep. I will give details in the morning.

She expects the kids to live with her fulltime and the things she said she would do if I fought her on it were despicable.

I will go into details in the morning. I feel numb.

BEClem #2592043 07/28/15 05:05 AM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 116
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 116
Damn sorry man. Keep your head up.

DNTWNT #2592053 07/28/15 06:59 AM
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
F
Member
Offline
Member
F
Joined: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,902
Take a deep breath, BEC. Things are only over when you decide they are, her filing doesn't have to be the end. Don't let this shake you and backslide, continue to DB and work on yourself. You will likely need legal help very soon so don't make any quick changes without it. Don't let her scare you into giving up anything you don't want also, you have rights also.

You are going to be ok, keep trusting this process. While my W hasn't filed yet the paperwork is sitting in the kitchen and in various places for months now. When she first told me she wanted a D in Jan I was a wreck. I still have the pain inside but I am fully capable now of moving on with my life with or without her. Keep making yourself the man only a fool would leave and you will be great no matter what.

Last edited by Fogg; 07/28/15 06:59 AM.

Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
Fogg #2592071 07/28/15 08:28 AM
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 1,917
That's a kicker. You're gonna be a wreck, it's OK. Then get up and rebuild yourself.


M 45 W 52
SD22 S9 D8
BD 6 April 2015
Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Huddy #2592101 07/28/15 12:11 PM
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 121
H
Member
Offline
Member
H
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 121
BE,

It isn't over. Just a bump in the road. There are plenty of people on these boards whose spouse has filed and continue to DB. Some of them even are showing improvement.

Also D is just a piece of paper....It isn't over.

Of course it hurts and makes it difficult, keep doing what you are doing and don't give up.


T14 M5
SD15,D8,S6,D3
"Not Happy" 12/11/14
EA discovered 2/11/15
MC started 2/17/15
MC "put on hold" 4/3/15
W IC started 4/5/15
PA admitted 5/7/15
WW moves out 5/8/15
WW gets her own place 7/15/15
BEClem #2592102 07/28/15 12:17 PM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,952
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 1,952
Originally Posted By: BEClem
It's over everyone. Wife told me she filed for divorce. There is no way she is changing her mind. It's over.

I'm really drained and tired. Going to try and get some sleep. I will give details in the morning.

She expects the kids to live with her fulltime and the things she said she would do if I fought her on it were despicable.

I will go into details in the morning. I feel numb.


It [censored]. I get it. I really get it.
I'll wait for the details, but try to remember that divorce is only a change in the way you file your taxes. Dont do anything stupid today that could affect the rest of your life.

Last edited by Azzork; 07/28/15 12:17 PM.
Azzork #2592123 07/28/15 01:23 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
I'm sorry to come here and read your update. BEC, she may have filed, but it's not over until you decide it is. It takes a while for the divorce process to take place and during that time, you continue to DB for YOU. Do not allow this woman to bully and blackmail you into giving up your rights or for paying out the nose for her enjoyment. You stand your ground and get a good lawyer who will fight for your rights as a father and as a former spouse.

Your wife hasn't a clue as to what she's getting into. She will need to find a full time job, take care of the children when she comes home, do all of the work around a home, pay her own taxes, etc. You now need to step back and allow her to "learn" what it is like to be on her own totally. Your interest is now your children. Please do not go over there and do all of the things you've been doing to make her life easier because, as you can see, it didn't work.

BEC, it is now all about YOU and your children. Do not allow her filing and her statements scare you. Get a good lawyer who will looking out for YOU and your children.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2592351 07/29/15 01:53 AM
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 112
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 112
Just wanted to offer my support to you. I found out recently (via txt of all things) that my W had filed. I completely understand how you feel, it's a kick in the gut even when we all know it's a looming option from the moment of BD.

I also agree with everyone above - it's not over for YOU until you say so.

Hang in there BEC, tomorrow is a new day.


Me:36 W:30
M:2.75 T:7
BD: 4/2015
ILYBNILWY: 5/2015
W Moved Out: 5/2015
W filed for D: 7/2015
BEClem #2592355 07/29/15 02:03 AM
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
Originally Posted By: BEClem
It's over everyone. Wife told me she filed for divorce. There is no way she is changing her mind. It's over.

I'm really drained and tired. Going to try and get some sleep. I will give details in the morning.

She expects the kids to live with her fulltime and the things she said she would do if I fought her on it were despicable.

I will go into details in the morning. I feel numb.


BE,

Listen here....we have had many WASes declare their intention to file for a D and then it gets postponed for various reasons. Some even call off D. Don't take W's words at a face value and feel like it's the end of the world.

Yeah, I get it that you feel sucker punched and feel it's the end of the road. Guess what? It isn't. Let's take Cali's sitch...18 months long with a bunch of fits and starts on D paperwork. Talk about lots of ups and downs.

You need to focus on the big picture and focus on what your bottom line here. As a father you would want to ensure that you have 50-50 custody and a reasonable financial settlement. Don't lie down and let W steamroll over you with threats etc.

jedi #2592356 07/29/15 02:04 AM
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 412
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 412
I just wanted to send you my words of encouragement. I agree that it is only over when you say it's over. My h told me he needed space and two months later I was served divorce papers out of the blue. He didn't even tell me. It is okay to not be okay. You will pick yourself up and you will be okay in time.


Me:33 H:36
T:13 years
M:10 years
S4
Separated 05/15
H Filed 06/15
Page 1 of 11 1 2 3 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard