Mahhhty...my wife said she left b/c I don't respect her, we were late on the house payments and inconsistent money flow (business is bad)But I got a Job. Drinking but I stopped. I was mean when we argued. Now it could be anything I say.
Since they have left I have been trying to tell my 9 year Son Daddy's fixing things in which my wife said she needed. get a job that pays consistently, Stop drinking, and respect her. I have done the first 2 and working on showing the respect, but she seems like she is bitter and angry causing issue to fight. She says she loves me but it hurts to be with me and it's over. We will be going to counseling that I have to schedule. She said she's not going to lift a finger b/c it's up to me cause she did everything before and I didn't go with it. She says it's over and that she doesn't want to try no matter what. It's been a week and several day since they left, but I saw them when i got back from training and its was hard. She keep saying we are never going to be together again ever. She tell me to stop giving my 9 year old false hope. He calls me telling me he misses me and to call back if he leaves a message. It kills me and I cannot not call him back to comfort him.
I don't know how to detach from wife when I need to comfort my boys. It hurts so much to hear her tell me it's over and there is no chance at all of us being together. Hurts more when kids want to come home and she says they are better where they are at. I don't understand how she can be so cold and not feel their pain.
help me understand and get through this please. i'm really a good man and wonderful father who still loves and cares for family so much. Thank You.
Thank You. I'm in patient and hurting thereby clouded. I am signing up with Programs to GAL...Guitar Lessons, Gym, and going to join a Social group to cope with this in the mean time.
I don't understand what you mean by
"...The You, only a fool would leave."
She left me and I want to work on my relationship but i know she needs her space.
She keeps saying we are done and there is no chance what so ever. Not sure what to believe.
It's interesting about how you mention that she says something they may be a lie. I think so too as what's coming out of her mouth sounds like she trying to be strong and stay her course of moving on, but it doesn't sound like her. But she is saying it and its hurts.
I am wondering if I call my wife and speak to the kids or have her take the initiative and call me? I think I should call and say good night to my boys, but a friend said to let some days go by and see what she does.
I am in the midst of working on my detaching and letting go and have remembered that my wife has mentioned to me that she has been detaching for a while and in that, her therapist may have her doing the separation and letting go of me to become a better her. She has been being selfish only thinking of herself and how she needs to find herself and voice again.
I had texted her to tell and kiss my boys good night for me and that I loved them and she replied "I will and they love you too".
I may be reading too much into it, but she isn't saying and hasn't been saying "I love you" to me for a while now as well.
I'm afraid that she may be countering my detaching.
