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Joined: May 2007
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Yep, agree.

As nasty as he get he Always! Seems to apologize. I do to but he does mane an effort to do the. Or ignore the past argument and next conversation back like nothing happened.

"Well as always i have to apologize for every little thing! I'm SORRY!!!"
He always says during or after an argument all he wants to do is get along! Really? I just want him to go away. It seems very important to get along and friendly on his terms. Basis silly shut your mouth talk about nothing and well be fine. Nothing includes everything from Kids to the weather.

I am actually glad he is finally spending more time with the GF. It's been almost 2 years and it's time she sees the real him. All I can say is there's no man that I would drive 3 hours for to visit for one night or even tonight and he's not home he's out with his kids or he's working. While she makes dinner and cookies. Maybe that's why we're divorced lol or trying to anyway :-)
Since going on 2 years now I always wondered why the people here that had been here longer, would say after all this time they didn't want to be with him. All you can think about in the beginning is getting back to them. I have spent a lot of time thinking back about our marriage and how mean he was to me. And when I see him what tension there is and how I feel. I honestly am so at peace being alone. Don't get me wrong, I miss him and a lot of things that we used to do together but he was so mean and selfish.
I woke up about 1 o'clock in the morning in a sheer panic that I've never felt before. It wasn't as scared feeling like my heart was racing it was almost like I was a trapped animal. I was terrified that he was gone. almost the feeling like when he first left. I couldn't catch my breath I felt like I needed to run, it was the strangest feeling I was terrified. & I kept telling myself he left long time ago what's wrong with you. I actually had to take a xanax because I was so freaked out. Never been like that before. I don't know if it's because I called the attorney or what? Anyway thanks all for the advice.


M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 502
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Dejavu2. Thank you.
Yes, codependency and alcoholism is a big problem for me. Codependency for me alcoholism for the men in my life. My father and now my second husband. My first husband didn't drink now looking back besides his cheating lol he was the best for me smile. however, he to last for another woman after 11 years.
I am now learning a lot about codependency and why I stay. My parents were divorced wnen i was 9 I did not care if my dad left because he too was mean and drank. And now I have that with my stbx. I just don't like losing people in my life I moved a lot went to nine schools. It's an issue for me. And it's hard for me to get close to people and especially now when I know they can leave. But I'm working through that and a lot of people say I need to go out and date which I have but I seem to be very picky which I don't know is a bad thing. I think it's just my way of not falling for the wrong person I don't know? Or I'm still hanging on to my ex that could be the reason too?
I will read up on you too smile
Thank you!

Last edited by NotAgainPlease; 07/22/15 04:41 PM.

M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 502
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Job,

He definitely uses #2. It's all my fault we aren't divorced as and also his bad attorney, H says. 3. He prepaid a big retainer and has done nothing yet. She better not have used u o all $$. but nothing about her would shock me she is shady, shady, shady. I read reviews about her and they were horrible and told him at the time and he hired her anyway. That's his problem. However she has not gotten back to me which par for the course I guess.
but then she could have called him and he probably didn't call her back. We'll see I'll give it a few days and try again.


M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 502
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Well the attorney responded by saying she was waiting on STBX to respond. He has decided no to agree to pay support through college, if they go. We had supposedly agreed om everything.
Glad you could have told me that. instead of she supposed to be contacting you to finish up.it's just one lie after the other with this guy he even throws his own kids under the bus. He will say but he didn't say something to them and they say he did then he calls the kids liars. Unbelievable.


M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
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Well, well, well...looks like your h is the one dragging his feet on this matter. I had a feeling he was throwing a monkey wrench into the mix. They will promise you the moon and say anything and everything, but when it comes down to the bottom line, especially if there is money involved, they will do everything to ensure that they don't lose the money. I do not think he was ever planning to tell you about this. He was hoping that things could continue as they are and you would not find out. Let's be honest...he thought he had you fooled and you wouldn't call the attorney. He just knew you bought everything that passed over his lips. Boy, he's going to be very surprised when he discovers you made the call.

I'm very glad you spoke to the attorney, now you know that when his lips are moving...he's lying. I wouldn't believe anything that comes out of his mouth.

So, what is your next move? How do you plan to handle this new info? Are you going to play it cool and see just how much he lies when you ask him if he's heard from the attorney?


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Job. Yes, I figured he was dragging his feet. Because as soon as I sent in the documents needed it all stopped.He know I didn't want it and wanted to delay it and when I agreed he stopped!
To say he won't agree on that is silly since he already said he would and partly his attorney is telling him not to pay support if going to school for some reason. They can put a cap for years ( whick we did) and if they are away it will go to them anyway....
He knows I contacted her as she cc'd him. I'll just see if he says anything to me..


M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 502
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Maybe I should just say take until college out and be done! Then see what he does? He pays me alimony and child support. He have me the house when he left before 10 years ago so nothing else left. I don't think he's stalling because he doesn't want a divorce. He's a good dad and takes care of his kids very well so that is a really stupid excuse to stall divorce.


M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 502
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OP Offline
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 502
The attorney sent an email that said my stbx has made an appointment to update info?
Whatever that means!


M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 28,295
Likes: 112
job Offline
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It will be interesting to see what he has to say after his appointment w/the lawyer.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Well stbx sent me a copy of an email to his attorney who he had not heard from since January. I looked at the date July 1st. Prior to that we've been getting along pretty well and around the 29th we got in a pretty good argument. So right after that he sent an email to his attorney to find out about the divorce.
She is trying to say that I'm asking for is not OK with the law? Whateve that means, I'm asking for child support till the kids are out of college and my alimony. he then said he hasn't heard from her since then. She told me he has an appointment this week he didn't answer when I asked about that. He gave me the house over 10 years ago when he left before. She keeps telling him the house is going up in value and he needs to get half of it. She is one sleazy lawyer.
He keeps telling her he doesn't want it he just wants a divorce. my point being when we're getting along he does not pursue the divorce when we get in a big fight that's when he contacts her.


M15 T19
D13 S13
BD Affair 9/13
S 11/13
D started 6/14.. dropped court date 10/14 H attorney can't get it together.
Still with long distance ow. Still hates me.
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