Better end of the day than its start! Was so proud of my girls who did bag packing for girlguiding (1st time and for 2 hours at 7 & 5, I'm the proudest mum in the world :-)!.
I just thought I'd share an incident (if I may call it like that) that happened while packing. A gentleman had few coins in his hands, and asked my youngest to pick the coin she liked, well she picked up the whole lot :-)! I had to restrain myself from laughing as it was so funny!
In the afternoon, we bought loads of photo frames, and chose which photos to put in. Quality time :-).
Only downfall, being in the house and back thinking of H. I guess once I have moved out, those thoughts won't be there.
I have been reading few posts tonight about being a star, and how WAH or W would notice the changes we made, and comment on it. Well my H hardly looks at me, doesn't comment on changes and when we talk it's about the girls.
He has accepted to move back in the house while I go abroad with the girls to see my family as I cant afford to put the dog in kennel for two weeks. he added that he'd moved out before we get back home.
I have been thinking about our stich, and I can see that apart from him not being home nothing has changed on his side: doesn't help much with girls or dog unless I ask him to (because of work), he still works at weekend (despite asking him not to and spend time with his kids), and he comes and goes as he pleases!
Why would he want to come back to deal with everyday life, while he can lead a single life!
any thoughts would be welcome on what could be my next move as I'm very confused.
I think I'm entering the anger zone. This has been on my mind for a couple of days, but now I can clearly feel the anger emerging.
Towards the OW for going after a married man. For me she is a s*##**g, as I feel she has no moral, but I guess it doesn't surprise me as her H left her one year after they got hitched! I guess in a way she wants to hurt people like it happened to her. I really want to meet her, but I know it won't bring me closure, and I know it'll hurt me more.
Towards my H to be childish enough to want me to deal for him with his mother's death, and being his mum for him! To have been stupid enough the destroy his family. To blame me for everything that is happening now! To have use the excuse of holidays to check out on our M 2 years ago.
As far I'm concerned, he is the one who has decided not to go on holidays with me. He is the one who is unreasonable to have tried to stop me from seeing my family (3 weeks per year). He said he'd never asked me to chose between my family and him, but TBH from where I stand it's what he had done for the last couple of years!
I agree that some work had to be done on the house but surely the house wouldn't have crashed if we went away for a couple of weeks!
I'm angry at my H for always talking about going on holidays, but always booking his with him in his mind that it'd be too work on the house! To always worked at the weekend and not spending time with us! His excuse : " it's not like I'm spending the money on me, you ungrateful B#*^h!.
To my mind he is very manipulative because I feel he knew all along that he was depressed, that we were having trouble but each time I'd raise the issue he'd say everything was fine! And that he knew we'd separate as he can't deal with his own issues! I get his A was longer than 2 years!
Now I feel really sad for my daughters as they deserve to be brought up by their two parents, but then again he took this from us!
Gosh can't believe what I have written! Now thinking: do I really want to be back with someone who needs a mum, who lies and who is manipulative?
I know where I have gone wrong, and I think since the birth of my second child and my father's leukaemia and his mum's death I was depressed. But again I didn't chose the option to cheat on him!
H dropped the girls after his day out with them and his daughter from previous relationship; he looked tired, has put weight on, stung of fags (starting back smoking 2 years ago!), and absent.
I think he is the one doing the detachment. Won't ask anything unless I ask him. Do I carry on initiating conversation or not? Just told me tonight that he's going to girls' sport day tomorrow, but forgot to remember that I have reminded him twice that he needs to babysit tomorrow because of work commitments!
I just got trough your sitch today Pi... I know it [censored], it really does.
Focus on on yourself and the kids, stop looking for signs or hidden messages. Live around your H, just do not count on him or rely on him for anything.
If there is love, there is hope. Let go of any and all expectations, expectations are a mind killer.
Had a great night. It was my boss retirement leaving do. Had a lot of compliments, and also colleagues giving me advice on how to lead my life and deal with H. I took all of it with a lunch of salt as none of them are in my situation. It made me sme as they want to help me but they really aren't for rebuilding marriage after an A!
Got back home very happy, and H who was looking after the girls really looked awful and I felt like one million dollars baby (I think that's what you say in English!)
Nothing to report much today. Just a text from H to ask me to get something for the girls with a thank you at the end. A first!
Had a great day, I have always put my kids and H first. Today I didn't put me, nor my family first, and help someone & it felt great as I wasn't expecting anything in return! I'm going back to me: caring about the others around me who aren't my family, but also not in a way of my happiness. I hope it makes sense :-).
Had a good day. H send a text late afternoon saying he'll pop round to see girls but will be late as working far away. Starting to inforce boundaries ( not to come as it pleases him!), and said it would be too late, and if he could come tomorrow.
Got a reply saying that he had another commitment and couldn't make it. I said fine. Couple of minutes later, he rang to say he was stuck in traffic and will be quite late. So he said he'll tell his boss, he'll leave early to see his kids.
Then he moved on to tell me that he was unhappy with his boss as he told him that on Wednesday my H goes to see his kids. I listened to him, then said goodbye and hung up.
Was proud of myself as felt I wasn't that bothered if he couldn't come as he isn't coming to see me but his kids!
