I've been with my spouse 10 yrs (married 2)..... When we first met , he was a dream. After suffering thru a verbally abusive 1st marriage, I waited 5 yrs before dating again. When I met my now husband, we were both looking for love. After approx 4 yrs into the relationship, he started acting distant & broke up with me. We remained friends, and even tho I wanted to recapture the relationship, he wasn't interested. He said he needed time to get himself together & he didn't want a relationship with ANYONE.
We remained friends until about 1 yr into the friendship, he started disappearing & not answering my calls or text msgs. I found out thru the grapevine that he was seeing someone else. He never told me even though we vowed to always be friends.
About a year into his new relationship, he lost his job, his car got repossessed, & he got evicted. I'd heard that his new girlfriend went through all his money (and severance) to support her gambling habit, and when he lost everything, she kicked him to the curb. Here's where it gets ugly.
After not returning my calls for a year, he reaches out to me, after the other woman broke up with him, declaring his remorse & saying he still loves me. I was skeptical at first, but love overtook me, so I let him back in in a BIG way! When he got evicted, I let him move in with me & he quickly asked me to marry him. Because I was so desparate to get him back, I said yes. We got married in 2013.
Since then, I feel like 85% of the financial burden is on me. I had to buy him a car so that he could get a job. I found the job for him & he works but doesn't bring in much money. He doesn't cater to me like he did early when we first met. I've told him over & over that I feel like he married me out of convenience to be rescued from homelessness. I feel like a fool. I really need advice. He says he loves me but he's lazy & I'm not seeing it. Whenever I threaten to put him out, he shows a little bit until I'm better & then he goes back to his old comfortable "taking me for granted" ways.
We've been to therapy and he changes for a minute & then right back to his old ways.
Should I leave FOR GOOD?!!!!! Please help, I need advice! I know I jumped into marriage too soon & now he terrified that I will leave him & he claims that he wants the marriage to work & he married me because he loves me....I'm so confused!!!!
