I found Suzette Elgins book How to disagree without being disagreeable very useful.
Also needed a book on grammar together with punctuation and I absolutely adored Eats Shoots and Leaves the funniest treaty on saying it badly. I laughed out loud.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Thank you V, I appreciate the books. I could quit my job and read 8 hours a day for the rest of the year and still not get through my current reading list!
Thank you BD for showing me so clearly that there was a huge lack of understanding in my life.
Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend filled with GAL, and that little bits of joy manage to quietly sneak into your lives.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
PP, it was my intuition that knowledge, learning and your personal journey would be linked. That having awareness in your toolkit would be one of the keys to detaching. The important thing is you took the road to self discovery and all the knowledge is useless unless it's applied. That's all you. Have some fun books too and perhaps some children's books, have you seen Inside Out yet?
Plus you give great hugs when I needed them, and support too.
I wished I had learned the importance of understanding this earlier in life (although not through a BD) just through a realisation of some kind. I now believe I have been sleep walking my way through life. My mum always used to say "V wake up and live in the real world'. Better late than never, once you know you cannot unknow. I am awake in the real world.
Onwards and upwards
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 08/01/1506:27 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Hello PigPen! Thank you for your post in my thread. I’m playing “catch-up” on many situations and it sounds like you are going through a rough time but handling it very well. Please hang in there and GAL, GAL, GAL. While you are doing that, try your best to stay in the present and also keep a positive attitude.
As Sandi wrote earlier today, “I know how cold and ugly a WW's heart can become. I also know it is possible to change. It takes time for some things to take place. There is a time for all things.” How inspirational!!
Wonka, as always, has stepped up big-time. I feel the same way as you do. If I could hug her (respectfully as a friend) through the computer, I would.
You can do this and I want you to know I’ve got your back.
Take care!
Bob
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Hey PigPen, just wanted to let you know you're on a good path. I know you've been a fan of mine, I want to say thanks for that. I don't need followers, but it's pretty profound to be part of the support on this board.
I just posted on 4mykids thread talking about timelines, and I just realized you're kind of in the second stage of your journey (the first stage being when we are still clinging to a lot of hope that our sitch will turn around).
It's both tougher and easier. It's easier because the worst is probably over. You've said yourself you wouldn't go back, and that you're grateful for your sobriety, and that you're proud of yourself for the first time in a while (AS ARE WE!). But it's also harder...because as addicts, we like to get what we want when we want it! And when we discover that we can DB until the cows come home and it may be too late for WAS to care, and that we might not live happily ever after...it can be tough. I mean, when you first start staying sober you're like, "Yeah, I'll just live in reality, I can do this!", but that's because you forget how tough reality can be.
So I know it will be really hard on you at times right now. The worst is over in terms of sleepless nights, inability to breathe, etc...but now comes the hangover...the long aftermath after the initial hopes and enthusiasm die off, and the reality kicks in that there is going to be a lot of pain to work through, and some permanent losses, and some grey skies. God bless, PigPen, I've never been through anything so hard.
I guess I'm writing this because while I'm not worried about you relapsing, or disappearing off the boards, or anything like that...shoot, you haven't said you feel any of these ways, this is just me projecting...but I really wanted to make sure you knew that I know how hard it is, and that I'm really rooting you on. I don't just want you to become an H only a fool would leave. I want you to become so solid on your own feet you would think twice before R with a woman that left you (read my last post on Sandi's thread).
Keep going!
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
