The silence continues

[NDY]

Thanks mate

Yea, the look. It had a definite affect. I wouldn't say it's a turning point but I must say it was obvious she wasn't expecting either. She obviously just expected me to go with her to the shop and to stay there the whole time, hanging onto her coat tails. Nice 180 I think.

[Defacto]

NDY,
I think you did well also. Sounds like a lot of detached listening type of behavior. Well done!

[NDY]

Cheers Defacto

I had my best DB hat on. I'm finding that easier with every interaction.

[Wonka]

NDY,

Way to go with the interaction with W!!!! Well done, mate.

[NDY]

Thanks Wonka

I felt good about how I handled that although nothing has been resolved RE S9's birthday. But I believe I achieved something last night.

[Huddy]

All quiet on the Western front?

[NDY]

Silence mate. And it's working for me. I've got to a point where I'm doing my own thing for S9's birthday. I kinda like this because one of the things she said on BD day was that I never organise anything. Ok. So I've took him abroad and managed to get him home. Alive. And I've managed every drop off, pick up and god knows what else as well as have organised days with S9 so the Birth day is the next day. You read the thread on how she was when we met for a coffee? So that's just cool with me. I've already got a plan. And I've already put the wheels in motion.

Plan is my family will come here In the afternoon and do the presents and birthday cake. Ok so he gets two cakes but that's on her. Then hot dogs and pizza and then to the movies with his pals. Drop them off then a Nerf war.

What a blast.

[Zues126]

Happy for you NDY. I know exactly the feeling you're talking about. I remember a few months ago when my D said something about OM (OM #4 or 5 I believe but I might be missing a few)...for just a split second I was like "oh no we're not together anymore!" but then I was like, "oh wait, I already knew that and don't care". And since then it's been much less still.

As for you Mr. Pyrite...there will come a point when you don't even care about her coming out of the fog. It's funny, HPoirot's posts blew up because so many people are so eager for the WAS to come crawling back and realize they were wrong, and for the tables to turn, etc. Fair enough. It's a natural desire. For me, I just don't care anymore. She can do what she wants, view things how she wants, whatever. I'm confident enough in who I am and what I'm doing I don't need her validation, I'm straightening out my life and she isn't doing the same so I'm walking away, and I'm happy that I'm out of that dysfunction. Of course I don't want her to suffer, but we all suffer, and we all reap what we sew. She chose her path and she'll do the best she can, just like I will. My point is that the day will come when you not only let her go, you won't care about rewriting history and stuff like that anymore either.

Later!

[Huddy]

Morning NDY

That party sounds good. What is there not to like? Two cakes isn't a problem; you can save a bit 'til the week after and enjoy the moment all over again.

I know it's terribly sad, but I'm glad to see you are functioning much better than when I first came to this forum. Don't give up though - you're the daddy!

[NDY]

Morning folks

Hi zues. Yea, it was hard getting here and I still have a long way to go. Of that we can all be sure but I can say it's getting easier. Funny. Not that long ago I struggled with detachment and kept getting caught in the same paradox as every other LBS where you struggle to understand how detaching can bring her back. Then when you finally wake up,and realise it's not about bringing them back its like a lightbulb moment. Now the interactions, the txt the emails don't tug on my heart strings any more. Going dim really helps. If it wasn't for S9 I doubt I would have spoken to the WW for weeks.