The silence continues

[Huddy]

OK, fair point.

[Pyrite]

hi Guys,

i am just feeling sorry for myself that it doesn't really look any different now than it was a few months ago, probably worse. She has intergrated OM into her extended family as well as in mine with my kids. She doesn't even try and hide it anymore, that he spends almost all of his time there. I am anxious that worst case scenario of picking the girls up every 2nd Saturday from her new home, living with OM, is what is going to play out here.

I have lost faith that she might come around one day. I dont think she will ever acknowledge having done anything wrong, or be remorseful for destroying our family. She believes she has saved it, and I suspect she always will. Even after this A R finishes, I doubt she will give our M a second thought. Its just gone and I have to move on. GALing has slowed down in these winter months. I suspect that will save me again in the spring time.

Onwards and upwards hey. I suppose it was before, GAL, PMA etc. But now busting this D I am trying to put it out of even the back of my mind. It is just hurting me now. I just have to get used to that. Who knows what will happen post D, in a few years time. I have to focus on a new life. Finalising this cohabitation business will go along way to keeping my PMA. Every 2nd week I try to look forward to being with my girls, but then I get to the mess of a house and it's little things like the toilet seat up that send me backwards.

thanks for listening to my rant anyway. good luck in your situations.

-Py

[NDY]

Hey py

She thinks about it. No doubt but right now that's not what we need to concentrate on. We need to sort us out. I, just like you am in a bit of a limbo. They say here to let it go slow. Drag it out in the hope the fog lifts. I don't see that. Not any more.

And just like you I don't see my WW ever thinking about returning to the M. Even when the A R is over. I just don't see it.

So it's moving on time. I need to get myself settled. Living accommodation set in stone and custody agreed. Then I think I'll be truly settled.

I kind of feel sorry for my W. Whatever was missing in her life will still be missing. Sure, I could have been a better husband but that's in the past now. Need to go in one direction and that's forward.

Peace.

[NDY]

Hi Guys

So the meeting with the WW is on Wednesday. I'll need to keep my PMA up and slap on my happy face. She has told me that S9 gets upset at the thought of us being in the same vicinity. That stings.

Anyway she (or rather S9) expects his birthday time to be split i.e. with one parent in the morning and another in the evening. I don't want that and think we should both get to be there for the entire day. But she's not into us playing 'happy families'. I'm not suggesting this for one minute but not sure how to play this one out. TBH I don't really want to be around her either but for the sake of my boy I'd put up with it.

Thoughts?

[Huddy]

Why would S be upset at you being together? Irrational thought process there. For the future, you both need to be able to be civil, but at the moment that isn't something you can comprehend. She's not planning on OM being there?

[NDY]

He's upset because he thinks that if the WW and I are together we will argue. Remember not so long ago where she would start fights right there in front of him? This is the consequence of that.

[Huddy]

Yeah, I remember. A reflection on her, rather than you.

[Pyrite]

quick hello - thanks NDY. Got "the letter". Talk more later. Good luck for Wednesday. I think he'd be the only kid in the world that didn't WANT his parents together. maybe that is her glasses - no doubt he doesn't want you to fight - but that is a different issue.

[NDY]

So meeting over. All of 20 minutes.

Turns out the thing S9 wants to do on his B day is outside. So that scuppers the birthday cake plan. WW was being so antagonistic, basically trying to bait me but I didn't bite. Then once she settled down we started talking about presents for S9. He changes his mind every 10 minutes which is normal. We need to coordinate so we don't buy him the same things. She suggested we go to a toy store after our coffee and look. I declined and said I would take S9 myself when he was with me. The look on her face at this point was noticible. Not sure if it was surprise or something else but she wasn't expecting it.

Then when the conversation turned a bit. We were talking about where and when S9 would be and I suggested that he stay with the WW one night so he wakes up on his B day with her then comes to 'our' house later. She picked up on that and said "who's house". "Our house" I said and she replied "you mean your house". All I said is that you still own half of it but then she wanted to start talking about me going to the bank etc. I could tell she didn't believe it was ever going to happen. I simply stated that I'd prefer to leave that talk to the L.

Then she move the convo onto other D matters and I just let her talk. Chipping in here and there but mostly keeping quiet.

After a few minutes I simply said "ok WW, I have things to do. I'll be in contact about S9's B day" and left her there. When I did that she had that same surprised look.

How did I do then? Thing is. As I was sitting there looking at her I kept thinking how I wanted to get away. I didn't want to spend any time with her and my feelings for her have really changed. Not sure what I want any more if I'm honest.

[Huddy]

That sounds like a good 'dropped rope' style meeting. Well done! Don't worry about feelings, they'll come and go. More interesting is the look of surprise. A turning point? Too early yet.

Let's face it. We all want the pain to end. We're not robots, so it's natural for us to eventually start saying 'OK, off you go' and the desire for us to move on. I think that is when the WAS starts thinking again.