LOL. I didn't read that as a Debbie downer post, Wet. I asked, and you told us.
Glad it was a good time. Sounds like fun was had
Happy birthday to Benmon..er your son
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
Thanks AJ. Well, it looks like I have found myself back in the "friend zone" with W. Last night's meal out with our families was really nice. But today W called me to ask for my help - legal help so that she can fight her over $500 in tickets after she lost her driving license.
I agreed to help her. Please don't throw any stones. I am kinda behind on my child support (it's complicated. W's tax refund from my return was much smaller than we expected. And the refund amount was "intercepted" to pay the child support.) But W only sees the amounts she sees coming in. And it is something I want to do, and I know I can help her.
After this call, W called me again. This time it was about the family's cell phone plan (W has her own plan.) Even though W does not have a phone on our plan, she is the only one the cell phone company will allow to make changes on the account. I have paid on this for over 5 years, and they still won't listen to me. So W was kind enough to provide me with suggestions on how I can get a cheaper plan by switching.
So W is my buddy. And I guess I am hers. OM (or "angry/drunk guy" as I like to call him) did not move in with W on September 1st (praise God). So I guess it is time to warm up to W and see what happens.
Ok, I just had a weird convo with W. This is her first real weekend all by herself, with d18 away at an out-of-state school, and s14 with me. I'm sure most of us on this Board know what happens on those long weekends alone when our spouses are free. I wouldn't let my mind think about such things.
W's call came out of the blue on a Saturday night. She asked me to consider doing something for her. W asked me to take s14 to his football games and practices on Tuesday nights for the next couple of months. The reason for this change - W wants to attend a Bible Study on Tuesday nights.
Color me shocked. W is not a "book person", and in the last 5 years I never saw her with her Bible. I asked her 10+ years ago to attend with me a study of Romans by one of the big international Bible study groups, and she fought with her Bible leader the whole year. It was not a good experience for her.
I paused for a moment as W talked, and then I agreed to take s14 on his Tuesday night football stuff. Something new for W in a positive way, so I am all in. Faith comes from hearing God's Word. I hope this meets W's spiritual needs. My prayers for her growing faith in the process of being answered?
Hi Wet! I am truly impressed with your positive attitude and continued sense of humor... especially considering all you've been through and had to deal with. You are a model Divorce Buster that others can look to for inspiration and guidance!
Originally Posted By: Wet
So W is my buddy. And I guess I am hers. OM (or "angry/drunk guy" as I like to call him) did not move in with W on September 1st (praise God). So I guess it is time to warm up to W and see what happens.
I like this. Allow her to see the possibilities. Be open yourself.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
W called me last night at 9 pm, and she was kind towards me (?) She again brought up the topic of her going to a Bible study starting on Tuesday nights, but needed me to take s14 to his football games/practices.
I have been going on Tuesday nights to 'Divorce Care' at my church, and so there is a conflict. W remembered that I "go to church" on Tuesday nights, and she offered to look for another Bible study. She was thoughtful and nice to me - I am frankly not used to this.
I told W that this is not a problem, that it was time for me to "move on" from my Tuesday night program (I have been thru 'Divorce Care' over 3 times now), and that I was thinking of going to a Bible study myself on Monday nights. It all works out.
Perhaps W is getting cold feet about the idea of attending a Bible study. But I didn't want s14 and I to be the reason for her not going. Everybody in America enjoy your Labor Day.
Well played, Wet. And good perspective - like FY and even though I sometimes challenge your thoughts, I'm impressed by the PMA and compassion.
I'll still challenge you when it seems appropriate though.
Happy Labor Day,
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I don't know what to do with this. I spoke with W yesterday. She found out that my tax return which I direct deposited the refund to W's account, was much smaller than we were counting on. She was complaining that back in April she could have filed her own return and received more money - I told her we could still do this, and offered to help her get her tax return filed (ugh, the Rescuer Wet reared its ugly head.)
Then W started talking quickly and my mind was still on the tax return issue. She said I should move into her place. That she can't find a cheaper place in the same school district (for s14)and that I should move in with her. Whaaaat?! I was still distracted, and couldn't respond to what she said.
I realize moving in with W for the money savings for us both is not the best way I envisioned seeing us coming back together. But it will help s14, which is reason enough. But if I quick move in with W, d20 who is now living with me, will lose her place to stay. I am leaning towards sitting down with W and seeing what she has in mind (like her activity on dating sites and om.)
More importantly I attended a Fantasy Football draft party last night. I co-own the team with 2 other guys and we were drinking beer, watching the Twins (who lost) and kicking out the football players who we should draft. We picked Adrian Peterson and KyRu from the Vikes. We have such a good team, I think it is just a formality that we will win the championship.
W and I scheduled to go together to traffic court this morning to fight her $500 ticket.
At 6am she texted me asking if we could move going to traffic court until tomorrow. She said had not had any sleep, and could use some extra time to get some extra sleep. Fortunately, I was at my Men's Groups sitting in a restaurant having my 1st cup of coffee this early in the morning. I told her that was fine, and that I would pick her up tomorrow morning.
I was all set to discuss with W to discuss if she really meant asking me to move in with her, and to see what she had in mind (especially as far as her being on dating sites and dating other men - if she wants to date other men, then I am not interested in moving in with her.)
But W just texted me to ask me if we can cancel her traffic court hearing until next week. She has scheduled her Landlord to come and fix her washing machine and microwave which are more immediate needs. I texted her to let her know that it was ok to do her traffic court stuff next week.
I am looking forward to take s14 to his football game tonight.
