MLC W Dates, Part X

[Wet]

The weekend get-away at my family's cabins was nice. D18 and s13 were with me. D18 is leaving on Saturday for a college in Boston, so it was my family's (brother, sister, their spouses and my Mom and Dad)time to learn more about what she is studying and to say goodbyes.

The weather did not cooperate though - it rained and was windy for the whole weekend. So it was card playing, and watching movies (my sister/BiL's cabin has a 3D movie player) - cool.

One scare with my Father. He just got a report that his heart is only working at 20% of what it should. He had trouble sleeping, and on Saturday night he became flushed, coughing constantly, and nauseous. It was interesting to watch my siblings and I try and figure out how best to help him - we each knew best of what Dad needed.

He woke up on Sunday after a good night's sleep, and everything was fine. I am starting to face the reality that with d18 moving out-of-state, that another family member (d19 also moved away) is peeled away since our separation.

[Wet]

Here is Friday's Lawyer Joke: Q: How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?


A: How many can you afford?


Q: No, seriously. How many personal injury attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?


A: Three. One to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

[Wet]

Last Wednesday night the family went out to eat to celebrate d18's leaving town tomorrow to go a school in Boston. It was not a pleasant gathering, except for d18 and d20 enjoying each other. I was attempting to calm down after dealing with my car's overheating problems.

W was also not very pleasant as she was just pulled over by the police who informed her that her license was revoked. She ended up yelling at the officer in front of d18. Also W tried to pull information out of d20 and d20's dating her long-time friend. D20 shot back sharply "why don't you tell us what is going on in your life?" A reference to W having her om arrested last week for 'Breaking & Entering' at her place.

I tried to change the negative tone of our dinner by asking d18 what she was most looking forward to in moving to Boston? Her response - not having to deal with my parent's issues. Sigh.

S13 asked me over and over to let him come and stay at my place. He and W are continuing to fight. But b/c I was in a seminar all day yesterday, I told him "no" I did pick him up last night after his football practice. He was worked up the first hour here, but I got him to calm down and he even got to bed at a reasonable time.

Next Tuesday, 9/1 om may still move in with W and s13. I have no info on what W's plan is, and so I may be letting my fear get the best of me.

[Wet]

Yesterday I was up early and drove over to W's place by 5 am to take d18 to the airport. The plan was W was going with us. But W texted me to let me know she had the flu, and stuff was coming out of both ends (ewww, W, tmi). So W ended up not going with us.

I got d18 off to her flight to her college with no problems. I am excited for her that she gets to start a new chapter in her life. She seemed genuinely excited also.

OK, here is my confession. B/c I knew we would be dropping off d18 at the airport, I knew the plan was I would be alone with W after we dropped off d18. I am hoping that given that om attempted to break into W's place last week and 5 police cars were called, that W's financial stress does not mean that she will still let om move in with her on September 1st (as was her original plan.)

I was all ready to discuss a couple of topics with W - first, how W dating other men hurt me. How s13 is not happy with our current arrangement, and then see if I could help co-parent s13 by moving into d18's bedroom at W's place. But b/c of W's illness, I did not get the chance. This is likely for the best. I have not contacted W this weekend, and instead I am enjoying my time with s13. School starts tomorrow for the boy. And today we will go out and get him a haircut. Unlike his daddy, he has a beautiful head of hair, but much too long with which to start school.

[AJM]

Always mixed to have a child leave for college. I just sent my last one off a week ago. I was joking with him that I would move away and not tell anyone. Truth is, I am getting the house ready for sale, but I'll let him know where.

As for your daughters' comments. er, that seems telling don't you think? The oldest is obviously angry at her mom, the next doesn't want anything to do with the situation.

I remember you talked about living arrangements. Don't you think it would be better to get full custody of your son rather than move in with his mom? That doesn't seem to have an upside from what I can see (based on what you write).

AJ

[Wet]

Hi AJ, so you are an empty-nester? That is really scary to me. When you spend so long of a time thinking of only the kids (and er, ya the W) that sort of freedom is not appealing to me right now.

The s13 sitch is, what can I say, complicated. W chose her place so that he can have some sort of stability. He is in the same school district, has the same friends for the past 2 years, and besides my having him on weekends is the only "normal" thing in his life. He did tell me yesterday om's breaking into W's place made him feel "bad".

My apartment is in a different city. And it appears I will have another surgery perhaps as early as September (3 spinal fusion surgeries in a year, is this called a 'hat trick'? ) From my perspective, s13 staying with W for as long as he can stand it, is best for everyone. Full custody will have to wait. Thanks for your thoughts.

[AJM]

A hat-trick of that sort might be less than desirable What's causing you to need another one?

I get it. Things are never black and white, right? Just seems like it would be difficult to be in the same house and not really a good thing for anyone involved. I'm on the outside though, so questioning it is as far as I go. You have the decisions and consequences to live with and make the final call.

Yep, an empty-nester. Makes me sound older than I am, but yeah. Freedom? Hmm.. I've had the freedom for a long time now, although this is certainly more of it. I don't have to make allocations when son is around now. Heck, I don't even have to come home if I don't want to. I can stay out late and eat ice-cream for dinner if I want, with no repercussions or somebody else to worry about

Peace,
AJ

[Wet]

A hat-trick of that sort might be less than desirable What's causing you to need another one?

Peace,
AJ

Hi AJ, I have lost feelings in both legs except for a constant burning. Before the 1st Spinal Fusion, this problem went up to my knees. After the surgery it went up to my hips, and so they did the 2nd fusion surgery.

The burning has now gone up to my lower back, and so they are thinking of doing a 3rd spinal fusion surgery in a year. This time it will be on my lower back, which I always thought was the spot (after looking at my MRI's) which was causing the problem.

Tomorrow is s13's birthday. W invited me and my parents out to eat to celebrate. It is convenient that s13's birthday always comes at the same time of year that the new Madden Football is released. It makes for an easy gift for the boy.

[AJM]

Ouch. Sounds like a lot of fun, Wet - not

Madden football is always fun. Good stuff!

AJ

[Wet]

I am sorry for my earlier "Debbie Downer" post. Despite the problems with my legs, I am still able to walk without assistance. I am doing ok in the health department.

Tonight we celebrated s14's b-day. We went out as a reduced size family (W and I, d20 and s14.) But we also had my parents and W's Father. And one of W's sisters (whom I am close to) and her husband. It was really great to have everyone there.

So I was "on" making sure everyone was involved in the conversations, while being upbeat (esp. about the Vikings - Skol Vikings!) And a bit funny. Here is an example:

Me to S14 - Do you know how close you were to having a really weird name?

S14 - no.

Me: Your back-up names were "7" (courtesy of George from the 'Seinfeld' show), or "Benmont". Everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Well, of course, I wanted to name you after the keyboardist of Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers (keyboardist Benmont Tench). The group burst out in laughter - but I couldn't tellif they were laughing with me or at me. Everyone was enjoying the time together, and as I said, it was lotsa fun.

Ok, I am sorry to bring up W, but I must. W let me know earlier in the day that she threw out her back, she was in horrible pain (along with her fibromyalgia), and she was seeing a doctor in the afternoon. The doctor gave her some Vicodin, and then at dinner she had 2 drinks - and for my tiny W, she was lit up.

At the end of the meal, W pulled me aside and asked me to drive s14 back to W's place. She told me she could not safely get him back home. Of course, I agreed.

W gave me a hug, and turned to give me a kiss but she caught herself. Dang, I can't even get a kiss out of a plastered woman after a nice night out. I gotta work on my game.