Here is Friday's Lawyer joke: how come you can't find lawyer's sunbathing at the beach?
Cats keep covering them up. ------ Heavy D, you gave sound advice about bringing this to my lawyer's attention. The problem is, I have a crummy lawyer who I think is in love with my W.
Yes, I am my own lawyer , and after preparing a joint Divorce Agreement (Pre-DB - where W keeps here stuff, and I keep mine) W has not signed the agreement. So nothing is filed with the court, and now is just not the time to dig my heels in.
A good weekend with s13. We watched the Vikings football game together last night. He likes to argue with me that the Vikes are not that good, while I am a rose-colored glasses Vikes fan. He was checking Madden Football cards for players and saw that Adrian Peterson only had a "hit" power of 14 - he commented that Madden should have asked Peterson's son first about that rating (no offense intended). But he's a funny kid.
W texted me that she was away all day on Sunday, and asked if s13 could stay over night. No problem, I enjoy extra time with my son. W has shut down communications with me (and I with her) since she told me om is moving in with her and s13 on September 1st.
Here is Friday's Lawyer Joke: While delivering his closing remarks in the defense of the prostitute, the lawyer said, “You cannot single my client out. Although I have not gone to one of them, I know there are at least eight brothels in our fair city.”
A quick journal. I have s13 for the weekend. D20 and I watched the latest version of 'Annie' last night. It's great. It has wonderful new songs to go along with some of the classics. And there are great performances.
The ending of 'Annie' is the typical happy ending - a happy family. D20 volunteered that she "doesn't believe in 'true love' anymore after Blake (Shelton) and Miranda broke up."
This was a kick in the gut to me. D20 is too young to be this cynical. And d20 had a happy family and happy parents growing up. She is the one of our kids who is most insulated from the foreclosure and separation.
I believe in 'happily ever after', whoever that may be with for me. But I could not respond to d20's comment. Oh the pain we parents can cause to our children.
Yes, my adult children have voiced similar sentiments to me. I think, in some ways, it was harder for them because they never saw my ex and me fighting, in fact what they saw was a mostly excellent marriage of 24 years. We were the family that took great trips together, where the parents were still affectionate with each other after all those years, where interesting discussions were had around the family dinner table, and interesting friends came over for informal dinner parties.
I think they feel that, if a marriage THAT good could still fall apart, what hope is there? And I admit I don't have a great answer for them, as I can't explain myself what drove my ex to be unsatisfied and unfaithful, and willing to inflict the same pain on his children that his WAW mother inflicted on him. I've offered MLC and brain damage (he had multiple concussions) as excuses for his behavior, but the kids aren't buying it. The best I can do is model a successful happy life after divorce.
Life is stranger than fiction. So W had plans to have om move into her place on Sept. 1 with her and s13. OM has drinking and anger issues.
Today I found out that om was arrested for Breaking & Entering. Where was he trying to break into? W's place. Apparently he wanted to talk to W, and she wouldn't let him in. And he climbed up onto W's 2nd floor deck, with s13 sitting right there. OM was drunk, and may have wanted to take some of W's pills? And W called the police.
Life just keeps getting crazier. Anyway, I am getting away for the weekend with d18 and s13 to stay up at my sibling's cabins. There should be tubing, fishing and some game playing. It is a good time for the kids and me to get away.
I think you'll find that the kids understand what's going on. They are also likely torn because they want a relationship with both parents. What happens between the parents, is the parents business as long as they get what they feel they deserve - parents. For now. At a later date, with more life behind them, they'll be able to better voice what they saw, how they felt, and what it means to them. I wouldn't want to be the mom at that point, but good things can still come of it. It's never too late for that.
I know my son realizes. I know my ex tried to "replace" me with OM. I know the kids feel lied to and betrayed by their mother. I know they also saw my examples and they know I love them and never left them. That's what I was able to do for them, even though at times I really felt like taking a ride on the crazy train.
My son, talking to his uncle a while back who asked about his mom and OM, said that "the guy was ok, but he wasn't my dad."
They know. They also know it's not right, which may play into the concern. But they'll find a way through that with your help.
Enjoy the cabin, Wet. Sounds like fun.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
, and after preparing a joint Divorce Agreement (Pre-DB - where W keeps here stuff, and I keep mine) W has not signed the agreement. So nothing is filed with the court, and now is just not the time to dig my heels in.
