Thanks Gan, some good things I hope! Just been away working for 3 days. Back home now & feeling tired and a bit blah tonight. Maybe just because tomorrow is the anniversary of BD, IDK. I think sometimes you just get a bit tired. Tired of loving someone who wants to shed you like an old skin.
I know there are many good things in my life, and I am truly blessed in so many ways. I just find there's a nagging sense of failure with our M. In a way, NC sitches like mine are easier. But they can feel hard in different ways. Like you just have so little to work with. And how your M went from full and loving to nothing.
Lately I have thought about OW a few times too, and I still feel pretty raw about her too. Even though H may be on to OW2+ at this point. Then I think, even if things turned and he wanted to R - how would that work?
I know I've come a long way & I'm just tired tonight. In need of some encouraging words.
Sorry for whining..
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
I just find there's a nagging sense of failure with our M. In a way, NC sitches like mine are easier. But they can feel hard in different ways. Like you just have so little to work with. And how your M went from full and loving to nothing.
I am in agreement Toots!! I have those exact same feelings!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I think I know pretty much all of those feelings really well and i don't have a no contact situation (all though more than once this week i have had people surprised by how little my XW and I communicate). Nagging emptiness is the best description I can give.
But, and its a good one, You've come a really long way and you have so much good going on, and yes I'm paraphrasing you but then you're easy to agree with. which brings me onto my next point, your clearly a good and decent person; so much so you have your own fan club with T-Shirts (red ones) and everything
my money is on it being a combination of your antiversary and the delightful homework you ended up needing to do that are big contributory factors in a current feeling of 'meh!'.
Like so often is the case, just sit with it for a bit and see how you feel tomorrow. In my case i opted for sitting with a tub of salted caramel ice cream as well, but as i skipped dinner it seems perfectly justifiable after all, i have to eat!!.
Anyway take care of yourself Toots as you need to get your energy back for your next GAL which i assume is either Jousting or Lion Taming.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
I just wanted to stop by and offer some words of encouragement. You are always there for me and others. What would we do without you? You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Please keep a PMA, don’t give up and keep moving forward. We have your back. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Your friend,
Bob xoxo
Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS) M:14 yrs T:15 yrs No children together--3 each from previous marriages Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14 Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14 Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Ah, thanks so much for stopping by Joe, V, Jim and Bob...you are great virtual buddies! I had a good sleep and woke up feeling brighter - even though today is antiversary. I decided today would be a good day to send 'grounds' to H, so I picked some from a bigger list I drafted. They include:
Refusing to move to London, which meant he had to communte Bringing work home to the detriment of QT with the family Failing to understand and support him when he was miserable Involving him in 'my' projects when he might be busy with his own things Being focused on 'jobs and schedules' which impacted on fun time with the family Becoming more distant and involved in hobbies and interests of my own
We'll see what he thinks of those anyway and I'm glad to have sent them. It seems fitting to have sent them today on our antiversary. As for me, I'm going to try and have as nice a day as possible and be gentle with myself. Treat mysef to something nice and look forward to a better 12 months than this last one. Although in many ways it truly hasn't been so bad....
Jim, thanks so much for your email, which was so kind. Hmm - lion taming - I didn't see that on the list of social events, but we do have a party on a canal boat coming up...and I think there is a ghost tour on the horizon too...
Bob, thanks for your encouragement too - it's much appreciated.
Take care all xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
He thanked me and said that was very kind. It reminded him of an email he sent to me very early on in our R listing his bad points. He said he wished he could read that again.
He said in reality I am a wonderful person to live with. There are difficult people around and I'm definitely not one of them.
He asked if I have the marriage certificate? He needs to find it and can't recall if it's at our MH.
It was a nice email, using his 'name' for me. But emails like this just leave me a little sad. Why would you D someone you think is wonderful to live with. Maybe he just isnt being honest with himself or myself?
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Toots - you probably are wonderful to live with; however he knows he isn't wonderful to live with right now - as he may not even like himself. He isn't in a place to appreciate you or contribute to your relationship. The NC has pros/cons... It does mean we nothing to work on other than ourselves. I often wonder if it isn't a gift.
Stay strong with a PMA!
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
