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Going along with what Wonka said, I want to tell something that helped my to stop thinking that way. I understand the pain your in is the worst you have even been in, but it is temporary. Ending things does not end that pain, for all. It may end it for you in a selfish way, but it doesn't stop it. It just transfers it to your children to face the rest of their lives. I had to look at my children and think how can I do this to them? My W did this to me, but that doesn't give me the right to do it to my children.


Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
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Prowl, as I had mentioned earlier and others keep saying, crying is natural. I am roughly 8 months into the DB thing, I find myself crying once in a while. BUT when this all started, it was a daily occurrence. Things DO get better. You just need to keep saying "I can handle this".

As for social interaction, look into your church (if you don't have one, I suggest finding one that fits your needs), just about every single one has a divorce counseling group. It's not a singles mixer or anything, but a group of people that are going through the same thing.

I used to be very religious when I was a teenager. Sadly, I lost my way and only over the last 7 or 8 months started going again. It took me a few tries to find the right church, but I LOVE the one I go to now. Please consider that.


Me: 38
W: 32
S10 D6
T: 10 (02/2004)
M: 7 (12/2007)
Separation 02/2015
OM confirmed 01/2015,
D mentioned 12/2014
D finalized 9/2016
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Prowl,

I've been there, as have many of us, on being unable to face the day and being unable to stop crying.

Seriously, there are anti-anxiety meds that work really, really fast that can get you back to functional and give you a bit of breathing room. They aren't long-term solutions, and as they can produce a bit of dependency after a while, but anti-depressants can kick in by then (and those are not dependency producing).

Even if it not going to a psychiatrist, call your regular doctor or go into a clinic and tell them you are having trouble getting through the day given your news. Ask them to get you a 30 day supply of anti-anxiety meds (they'll likely go with Atavan). It has few side effects, acts very fast, and for most people really does the trick to getting to a manageable level of yuck.

Anti-depressants and other psychiatric meds are best through a psychiatrist, as they are a bit trickier (figuring out which ones work for you, dosage, etc.). But, you'll probably want to explore that route for the duration.

In the mean time, lock up any guns and give a trusted friend or family member the key. Get an appointment with a therapist to start working on your emotions. Your work may have some kind of private short-term help for people struggling with emotional issues or drugs/alcohol. This is becoming more standard, and they truly are private if you are worried about employer finding out. They are usually free for a limited number of visits (ours is 6 free).

Keep that suicide hotline number handy if your thoughts start turning in that direction.

Don't rely on toughing this one out. Even the toughest of us need some help at times like these.

Hang in there. We're all pulling for you.


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
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