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Hopefully now that you have the book, the things we were telling you make more sense. It isn't just "ignore your wife and she'll come back". It's a process you can apply to any troubled relationship to make it smoother, regardless of the other things going on in your life.


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

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Huddy Offline OP
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The problem I have is that I can't gauge reaction as she still isn't into communication. So, I don't want to annoy her by talking to her and her just getting agitated, so I've got to work out how to communicate without words.


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It'll come. Patience. From what you've wrote here there have ready been plenty of opportunities. Be Clint and don't try to push.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
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Huddy Offline OP
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I can sense something. Then W puts up the barriers again and I get a bit defeatist. Patience x 10.


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That will happen. Don't sweat it. It won't work over night. No expectations.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
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EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
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Originally Posted By: Huddy
The problem I have is that I can't gauge reaction as she still isn't into communication. So, I don't want to annoy her by talking to her and her just getting agitated, so I've got to work out how to communicate without words.


give yourself some credit mate. you dont need to start from scratch. communicating with words - thats exactly what you have been doing.


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Huddy Offline OP
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Thanks Py

It currently feels like a really bad argument and we just need a way of getting it back together. Should I keep trying conversation or let her initiate?


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i'm no expert but to me it looks like she is "coming around". You initiating it could turn her back to where she was a month ago. wait atleastuntil you are SURE she will be receptive. Otherwise your showing your hand too early.

just my 2 cents


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Huddy Offline OP
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Thanks Py. Appreciated. That is what I think as well. Could do with some vet advice.


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Originally Posted By: Huddy
I can sense something. Then W puts up the barriers again and I get a bit defeatist. Patience x 10.


Huddy, I feel this way too. DR book suggests doing what works and change what doesn't. However, this is sometimes hard to gage. For me, I feel H puts up barriers just to remind me where we are at.


Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18
EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13
Move to work abroad Sept 14
re establish contact with OW while away
D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15

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