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Originally Posted By: Upnorth
I feel horrible that she is having such a hard time but I think it was a positive step. I guess I will just keep on trucking.


Interesting how different your tone is now from the first post in this thread less than a week ago.....

Anyway, you can't fix her. Be there if and when she wants to talk. But I think you're on the right track. Just stay strong and keep going.


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
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Upnorth Offline OP
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Thanks Matt, I was thinking the same thing. I know I'm still up and down but it's much further between the downs and the ups are much better. I think my W is still in there.
I wish she would agree to couples therapy, I think it would help but I'm not going to push it. Hopefully she can get the help she needs somewhere.

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W was over last night for a little while, she is planning on coming out tonight to spend some time. She seemed a little happier and warmer. Her texts have been more friendly. Lasts night she texted me a good night. It had been a while since I got any of that.

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You seem like both you and your R are in a much better place than just a little while ago. You know all the warnings about not getting your expectations up, patience, stick to your plan, etc. Just listen & validate.

From what you've said, I don't think MC is what your W needs to help her (or you) right now. In fact, I'd say that you've got her focusing on things that are drawing her back to you a bit. No R talk, no MC that would drag up the negatives right now. Just keep being the attractive person she wants to be around, and hopefully this will change to wanting to do the tough work full of painful reminders of your problems in the not too distant future.

Keep up the good work!


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
asitis #2583860 07/01/15 05:06 PM
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Today she texted me that she had bought used furniture so that she wouldn't need to take the stuff at the house. She said if she comes home we could just sell it. That is the first time she has mentioned coming home. She has been pretty chatty all day. I'm just rolling with it, keep it light and not expecting too much.

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Wow. Just goes to show what a difference a couple of days make. But watch the expectations. Don't let your hopes get built up.


Me:43 Her:42
M:14
S:9
EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts)
PA started 2014/05/30
BD:2014/11/05
I left 2015/10/01
I returned 2015/05/02
She left 2015/06/10
OM still on the go.
NDY #2584063 07/02/15 02:28 AM
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Upnorth Offline OP
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Had a great night, W had picked up S last night, tonight they came over, S mowed lawn while W and I cleaned up the garden, we chatted and laughed a little. Afterwords we sat on the porch and drank a couple beers. S joined us and we talked about the cabin, she mentioned that she would like to go one weekend. S asked about our border crossing permit, I told him that I had went to customs Tuesday and renewed it. W asked " I don't suppose you put me on it?" I replied that I had, she simple sAid "oh good" great hug before they left.
I'm trying not to get too excited over this but I'm pretty happy right now. Tonight I could see my wife in there. Hopefully things keep progressing.
One thing I've noticed is that people are t so concerned about us anymore, the excitement must be gone so they aren't talking about us or meddling. That is very helpful!

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Aj8 Offline
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Your story gives me hope up north


Me:35 W:30
7 years together
11 months married
No children
W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015
W filed for D: July 2015
Aj8 #2585096 07/06/15 11:39 AM
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Weekend was great! Of course S and I fished, ate very well, swam, tubed and just hung out. Just as the fireworks started a huge storm blew in so we scrambled for cover. It had been a long weekend already.
Texted back and forth with W a lot. On the way home she called, I told her when we would be home. She thought she might come out later. She pulled in right behind us and hung out for a couple of hours. Talked about a movie night maybe this week.

Busy week again, way behind on house work as well as other things.

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Still thinking "the end is near" ?

Good signs of progress. Don't stop now: stick to your plan.


Me: 50 W:43
S6, S3
M: 12 yrs. T: 17
M is bad & Not happy Bomb Mar '14
S 5 Feb '15
D Bomb 13 Apr '15 (but "no hurry")
DB Coach May '15
Wants proceed on D Aug '15
Starting 1-on-1 negotiations Sept '15
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