So, folks, I've been dreading this moment... Got some info... H is coming to town while I'm at the vacation home this weekend. And I think he is meeting someone here. He is going to a race (run) that my BIL (his brother) is also going. He made two transactions for the race participation, meaning he paid for another person. And got a hotel room for two. I guess he is going to have a romantic date. I think I know who she is.
She used to work with him when he was doing sales at the vacation home properties. So, she knows the same people I know from the vacation home. She is also recently separated from here H.
This s@cks. Why would he do this? Why would he decide to have a weekend with her in my town? She doesn't live here, he doesn't live here... There are plenty of other places to go. Plus, he never came to this town for just a weekend in the last three years. Why now?
My head is spinning... I had to retreat to my car to type this. I just cannot think about work right now.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Oh yeah, forgot to mention. I also received a text from H today asking me to check the po box for his check and deposit it before I leave for the vacation home. He also wished me to have fun.
I got a call this morning from the state employment department telling me that they want to do an audit on the company again. So, I texted H that i need an updated company file for this. He replied back saying that he will send it tomorrow if it is ok. I said it would be fine. There is nothing more from him. No concern or questions about the audit. I guess he has other priorities right now.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Thanks, Heather. It stings, and it hurts, and it stinks… I just realized that today is the 3 year anniversary of BD. Wow, what a coincidence… And to learn about OW on the same day… I’m doomed… I’m hopeless idiot… After 3 years, and it still hurts to find out about OW… I don’t remember if anyone was in this situation.
What also hurts is that H picking out the women who I know, or who are in my circle of friends as well as his. Such a heartless j!rk! Or, a desperate man (if I cool my head off and start thinking clearly.)
Now, a disclaimer. All this is more or less my guess and intuition. I just put 2 and 2 together based on the information I got. I’m pretty sure thought that it is the case. She might as well be coming as a friend. Knowing what I know about H’s recent “adventures” with that married woman from the vacation home, I’m not surprised that he booked one hotel room. This woman doesn’t seem to be of the same character as that married one. She appeared pretty decent, but…you never know… she might be fresh from her break up and looking for some adventures… All I know that they have just hooked up with each other recently, so it seems strange that they are going to stay in the same hotel room.
I had pretty bad day today. It felt like BD all over again. All kind of thoughts and images entered my head. But… I still went to get my mani and pedi as I planned, and also stopped by the store and got me a pair of sandals. So, I guess, it is not quite the same, ha. I’m much stronger and wiser… I will let that OW to deal with H’s weirdness. Maybe he can explain to her why he still has business and joint accounts with me, asks me to get and deposit his checks, and why his Playboy still comes to my house.
Thanks for listening. I almost called my GF today to get some support. But stopped myself thinking that I would just a big slap in the face again. So, here I’m posing here instead.
I just hope that tomorrow will bring more clarity and I will not falling apart again. I’m so tired of being hurt. Is going to end any time soon?..
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Awww ...Bright... I hear you. I sooo get it. This does suck but I am so proud of you. He is a jerk. He's weird. He's not the H you were used to but you have those memories.
He's moving on and not looking back.
DO IT! MOVE FORWARD TOO!
You can and should move on. You will heal. There is hope.. just be yourself. No obsessing over him. Just as the advice given to me on these boards - "they" don't deserve the mind space. You will be the VICTOR!!!
Bright, I'm sorry about the audit, but your h knows that you will handle it well.
As for the hotel room...do not assume anything. It could be either male or female. Time will tell on that one.
Go to your vacation home and have a good time. He's going to do whatever he needs to do to get through this rough patch in his life. It's all about him.
I do hope you are feeling better today.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Bright! Oh, honey... I feel for you. It made me feel so sad to read your post. I agree with job, don't jump to any conclusions yet. But, be careful, too.
It is a crazy thing, what our mind does to us with the unknown. Try to keep your focus on you. So glad you went for the mani/pedi and sandal shopping! You have come a long way, baby! I love that. See how amazing and strong you are?! I know it doesn't feel entirely like it bc you are hurt inside, but to be able to continue to carry yourself along shows tremendous strength.
Again, you don't know, so don't let it carry you away. However, if he does come there with an ow, do your boundaries change? Do you still feel like you would be willing to help him with certain tasks?
GAL and Job might be right you never know who the room was for. You know what though it doesn't matter it is not your problem and you have to let him go and do his thing and don't think about it too much because there is nothing you can do. You can't fix it. H has to.
I hope you are in a better place today. It's not and will not be easy, BUT we are in control of our own lives. Our H's have decided to go on their own journey and might never come back.
I hope you can stop thinking about your H and what he may or may not be up to this weekend, and focus on your plans. Stay busy, talk to good friends, vent here.
Stay detached from all thing concerning your H.
Mani/Pedi's are great and very relaxing.
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
