WAW Filed for D the Next Day Part 10 (Bob)

[WBM]

Hello my "kindered spirit",

I read the TM from your W with sadness.

I like Wonka's suggested response, as well as her advice on letting your W work through her issues.

Keep your head up! As always, sending hugs and prayers to you.

[Bob723]

Your W is in pain (physically and emotionally) so she's lashing at you for perceived 'wrongs' and for holding her back. This is quite complicated with MS on top of it.

I am not sure if you two jointly own the TH together or not. I am going with an assumption that you two are joint-owners of the TH.

Suggested Response

W, thanks for letting me know your plans to swing by on the 15th. If it would help better, I can organize the items by putting them aside for you so it would be easier for you to pick them. As for the townhouse, I would prefer that we take our time before considering putting it on the market. I too wish you the best as well. Take care. Have a good weekend. -Bob

Do you have any items of value that belongs to YOU? Then I would take action to safeguard them so W doesn't "loot" you of your precious treasures.

Wonka, thank you so much for your advice! I am very happy that you are with a new woman and are very happy and content. You seem very happy and I presumed that you and Ms. Wonka reconciled. I remember one post when you wrote to me that emotionally re-attaching along with some humor helped you two get back together. I either misread it, or you did but it didn't work out in the end. I'm sorry about the misunderstanding--my bad.

As for the TH, yes, the title is in both of our names. I could call any realtor and ask, but I'm 99% sure I can't put it on the market without her signature, too. Oddly enough, the mortgage is in my name only because we refinanced late in 2009 and the mortgage company suggested we have it in my name only because my W can't work time and she still had a poor credit score at that time. But both of our names are on the title to our townhouse.

As always, I love your suggested response. Just one follow-up question. Do you think I should add anything about my schedule changing next week? I ask because, if she asked questions about what day I'd be home next week, that would be a sign to me that her last text was a lie to throw me off.

Thank you Dear Wonka. I pray for you quite often and thank God for all your support of me and others on this forum.

*Hugs*

Bob

[Wonka]

Bob,

Instead of letting W force you out of your own home, the best bet is for W to sign a quit claim deed and hand over the TH to you. Then you can buy our her portion.

Right now, that is not where your focus is on right now. However, I would want to discuss this matter with a financial advisor or a L that specializes in this sort of stuff.

The 15th is two weeks away and I wouldn't ask W any more questions about schedule change. Things can change between now until the 15th. Time is on your side.

[Bob723]

I read the TM from your W with sadness.

Hello WBM,

We truly are "kindred spirits." Thank you for such encouraging words and taking the time to read my post. I've seen longer here, but that was a l-o-n-g one. I am thrilled that Wonka replied. I'm not sure where I'd be without her and people like yourself on this forum.

Thanks for the hugs and prayers -- sending them back your way.

Your friend and kindred spirit,

Bob

[Wonka]

Bob,

I wanted to post a separate post about Ms. Wonka and I. After years of radio silence between us, relations between us thawed. It truly moved at a glacier pace. Over the years, the only communications were wishing each other HBD. That's it.

Using humor and all that jazz aided in the thawing of the Ms. Wonka glacier. Things did not really break through until I wrote a letter (with the aid of some wonderful folks in MLC forum and Bets aka Underdog) seeking ways to make sincere amends to Ms. Wonka. That really broke the dam between us. That letter was written back in March 2014 (nearly ten years in the making). FYI, March 2015 Ms. Wonka tried to shove the OW down in my throat and I pushed back hard.

Now back to long radio silence. I didn't send out a HBD greeting to Ms. Wonka this past spring because I feel truly moved on and she's no longer on my radar. The last communications between us was back in March/April 2015.

Whatever.

Life marches on.

[Bob723]

Bob,

Instead of letting W force you out of your own home, the best bet is for W to sign a quit claim deed and hand over the TH to you. Then you can buy our her portion.

Right now, that is not where your focus is on right now. However, I would want to discuss this matter with a financial advisor or a L that specializes in this sort of stuff.

The 15th is two weeks away and I wouldn't ask W any more questions about schedule change. Things can change between now until the 15th. Time is on your side.

Wonka,

Thanks again! I agree with you. Right now, I feel like I can't think clearly at all, so I can't find the words to express how much I love it that you take your precious time to help me. Speaking of time, time is on my side and I am looking into buying my W out.

Our next court date isn't until sometime in August, so things can change so much by then. Look how many times things have changed in the past 8 months. A great point, Wonka!

I will send your suggested text as is. To me, it shows I'm willing to cooperate with her, I'm not saying "no" to her TH suggestion and nothing in your suggested reply indicates that I'm not "moving on." (Even though we know differently.)

Simply stated, you are the BEST!

Bob

[Elly4]

Bob, I too am sorry about what is going on with your W. She is obviously in pain and striking out at anyone who is an easy target.

I think Wonka's idea is great, and if you are concerned about her coming by next Wednesday, just work from home that day and you don't need to tell her or talk to her about it.

*hugs*
E

[Bob723]

Life marches on.

Hey Wonka,

Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience. Now, of course, I understand. You persevered thru some very rough times. But you made it and are an inspiration to so many of us here. I couldn't be happier for you that you do have another woman in your life and you are happy with her. You deserve that type of relationship.

As you closed your last post, "Life marches on." Well said. It sure does, doesn't it?

We've obviously never met and yet I consider you one of my best friends. (As Bob chokes back tears.)

Thank you for being you!

Bob

[Bob723]

I think Wonka's idea is great, and if you are concerned about her coming by next Wednesday, just work from home that day and you don't need to tell her or talk to her about it.

Hello E!

Once again, I believe we were posting in each other's threads at about the same time. I just saw your reply now. I posted in yours 10-15 minutes ago. Maybe we really are related?? LOL

Thank you so much for reading my long post and catching up with my sitch. Also, thank you for the excellent advice. I am going to send Wonka's suggested TM exactly as she wrote it. Since my W sent her TM early last night, I feel like waiting for a while to reply.

I think I will work from home Wed 7/8 just in case my W does stop by. If she does, I'll simply say "My plans changed but I felt there was no need to inform you because your plans changed and I expected you here next Wednesday" or something along those lines. Short and to the point.

*hugs*

Bob

[PigPen]

Sorry Bob, I know how hard you're working on your M and difficult it is to keep a PMA when all you get is pain in return. Truly my heart goes out to you.

I know you're a man of faith and I will say a prayer for you and keep believing that you are being looked after, even on days like this when it may not feel like it.

PP