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Bob723 Offline OP
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Hi Eirinn,

That's ok, I understand. I wasn't on the board at all yesterday. Thanks for the encouraging words about "triggers."

I have been thinking of you, and so many others here, as well.

How are you?

Take care.

*Hugs* and a polite *Kiss* on the cheek. smile

P.S. I love the verse!

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
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Bob723 Offline OP
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Originally Posted By: Aj8
Hi Bob , I'm new member but have read your thread for a week or so now , I emphatize and seek your guidance and everyone else that can help me smirk

Hello Aj8,

I’m really sorry that you have to be on this board, but I’ll bet Cadet mentioned you have come to the right place. He’s right….you have!

Wow, I have been posting since Christmas, which is why I am on Part 10. It’s a lot to catch up on. Has it helped you at all?

The loving people here will give you good advice and encouragement. I am about to post because I could use the team’s help. Then, I’ll be heading off-line for a while because I have to get back to work.

I promise you I will check in on your situation as soon as I can. In the meantime, try to stay positive and takes things slowly—one step at a time.

I wish you well. smile

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
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Bob723 Offline OP
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Good Day All,

A special call out to Wonka, Sandi, 25yearsmic, MrBond and Cadet. Of course, I'd love to hear from anyone who takes the time to check in.

As I posted a few days ago, I was very sick for a few days last week and finally got around to sending my W this part of what became a 2-part text 2 1/2 days ago:

My TM: "Sure, I can send out the items. Knife? Are you chasing bears in the backyard?? Ha!"

Neither one of us has contacted the other until last night, at 11:30 PM when I received the text below from my W. (I've asked her many times not to call or text that late unless it's an emergency, maybe she has forgotten.) Interesting, as I was just going thru some of her things yesterday after work.

As always, she never wants me to be home. I do believe that W feels her Mom would start yelling at me. Sad to say, that is how my MIL is.

Of course I will honor her request. I have to be in the office Tues - Thu of next week anyway. So, what help am I asking for? Well, this reply should be easy, but I'm hoping at least one of the vets can read W's text and pass along their thoughts / possible reply that doesn't come off too cold nor too friendly, so it's like I'm responding to a neighbor.

Please recall that my W seems to act passive-aggressive (may be wrong term) as she'll "shame me" with a "vicious" text, then a week or so later will apologize followed up immediately with a text for a favor. In this case, it was sending her stuff. I know we should not mind-read, but my curiosity about this text is mostly because she is finally asking in a well-mannered way. She mentions "without having to disrupt you" and the end sentiment is the nicest I've heard yet since we have been separated.. Also note no comment about Wonka's hilarious line. Who knows? Maybe she LOL when she read it a few days ago. I know team, NO expectations!

Ok, here we go:

W's TM: "Hi Bob, never mind. I need to come out to get some other things sometime next week. Is there a particular day next week that you could work at the office. Then my mom and I could get what I need for now without having to disrupt you? Please let me know as soon as possible so I can make plans. Thank you so very much. (W)"

I'm at work and have to log off now. Sorry. You can be sure I'll check as soon as I have time.

Peace to all of you.

Bob grin


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 136
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Aj8 Offline
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Hi Bob , I read all your threads to present thus far , sometimes gave me hope sometimes made me dread my situatio. Cried many times with you and sometimes was so happy for you ...just a roller coaster of emotions . I'm in such a dark place right now that aside family and friends this board has given me some hope to have my wife back smirk


Me:35 W:30
7 years together
11 months married
No children
W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015
W filed for D: July 2015
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,319
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Hey Bob!


Been a while since I've dropped in here.

I think you're ready to fly. Why don't you go ahead and post your draft response here? We all have your back here. smile

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Bob -
Interesting that W keeps texting you so late. 11:30, 1:20....
Not sure what to make of it, but interesting to text when she knows you'll be asleep.

Anyway, what's your plan for the reply?


At BD - Me: 33 Her: 33; M: 10 T: 15; D: 6 and 3

BD: 3/25/15
S: 4/20/15
D: 11/9/15
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Bob723 Offline OP
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Aj8, yes, quite a roller coaster indeed. This forum has been the source of most of my strength for over 6 months now (when I joined). You WILL make it thru this.

Wonka, oh Dear Wonka, thank you for stopping by! How are you? My draft reply is below.

Matt, great point, I don't know what to make of the late texts either. I believe she feels I'll be sleeping.

Ok, my simple draft text:

"Hi (W), I appreciate the heads-up. I will be in the office Tuesday through Thursday. It is thoughtful of you not wanting to disrupt me. You're welcome. Bob"

Thoughts?

P.S. maybe a little humor at the end?

Thanks all.

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 1,387
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I'm not Wonka Bob, not even close. However, I'd drop the last two sentences in favor of something positive or humorous.

Instead of letting her know you think it's thoughtful and saying you're welcome, use the precious space to make her smile and leave it at that.

"Hi W, I appreciate the heads up and will be in the office Tue - Thurs. Hope you got that bear! Bob"

My 2 cents. Curious to see what the pro's say.


M 39 W 36
T5 M3
BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day
Served 9/15
D finalized 6/17
Joined: Jun 2015
Posts: 136
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Aj8 Offline
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My experience on this lacks of course but the last sentence I don't think is needed ?


Me:35 W:30
7 years together
11 months married
No children
W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015
W filed for D: July 2015
Joined: Dec 2014
Posts: 1,686
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Bob723 Offline OP
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PigPen and Aj8,

Thank you! Very interesting thoughts!

PP, no, you're not Wonka (only Wonka is HA HA but I know the point you are making--I'm not either) but that is one heck of a suggestion "use the precious space to make her smile and leave it at that." In fact, I added the "P.S." about some humor after I posted (used the edit function).

Hmm...I'd still love to hear what the Vets think.

Thank you both so so much!!

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
M:14 yrs
T:15 yrs
No children together--3 each from previous marriages
Wife Moved Out: 10/19/14
Wife Filed for Divorce: 10/20/14
Divorce Final: 10/21/15
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