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Hi Eirinn, I think you did a good job too. Given what you and he have agreed, it's reasonable to call him out on things like that.

I agree with others about making friends. It helps with sitches a lot I think. I've recently made a couple of new friends and it's good to go out locally with them. Might it be an idea to think about a weekly activity you would enjoy and have H look after S that night??

You're doing great anyway - keep on DBing!! :-)


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We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
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Bob, Teach, Asitis, PP, and Toots,
Thank you for stopping by and letting me know what you think. I’m so glad I have this group!

Teach, I can tell you that this is the first time I didn’t get emotional, and I could tell he was waiting for me to. So, maybe I’m actually making progress after all.  I’m sure that you will get there too. I just kept telling myself all day to have no expectations. When he first came home, I so wanted to talk to him right then, and I couldn’t because my S was awake. So, we had a nice, calm, detached evening and then we talked.

PP, I thought so too! It was very uncomfortable to have my 4 year old tell me that they had a guest for dinner. Especially because of him, I want to know who is in the house.

Asitis and Toots, I have been GALing, but I’ve been not talking to any of my friends as they are all of the opinion that I should have kicked him out by this time. Then I find myself trying to defend myself instead of getting support. And, as you all stated, my H has been my best friend for a very long time.

I like the idea of reconnecting with friends that I haven’t talked to in a while, and maybe making new friends. My GALs mostly are teaching or board meetings. I am going out tonight with some girls though. That’s a new thing. And I have a competition this weekend which will distract me.

Thank you guys, once again.

Hugs to all

E


M 46 / H 43
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And then, part 2. My H let me know this morning that his friend was coming by to give our S a birthday present. She only was here for 5 minutes, but it was very strange feeling.

E


M 46 / H 43
T 24/M 18
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11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY
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Originally Posted By: teach3
Good job Eirinn setting up a boundary. I would have been upset with the situation too.I like what Bob said not letting your emotions take over. That is so important and for me still so hard!
Hi Eirinn,

How are you today? Just thinking about you!

Teach, thank you for the kind word. We can't let our emotions take over.

grin

Bob


Me:55 yrs/W:51 yrs (has MS)
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Hi Bob,

I'm doing well today, even though it was a very stereotypical Monday. I am attending a workshop all week, and my S is in camp for the week all day (which he's never done).

I have been extremely busy which is good, but I am soooo tired which is never good.

My H is taking off for a three day hike on Friday, so my S and I will be alone for the 4th. Just trying to figure out what we will do with the time.

I hope you're feeling better after hearing that song. I posted on your thread.

E


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Sleep is more important than we recognize, and there have especially been studies that indicate that women in stressful situations do much, much better with getting enough sleep.


Me: 50 W:43
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I have found that to be true too, Asitis. I'm glad to hear there are studies to back me up!

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Originally Posted By: Eirinn
And then, part 2. My H let me know this morning that his friend was coming by to give our S a birthday present. She only was here for 5 minutes, but it was very strange feeling.

E

Good and bad here.
Good - husband was honest and up front about his friend coming over. That is exactly what you asked him to do and he acquiesced. You did very well with this request BTW!!!

Bad, your h let his friend over. That was uncomfortable. Did she bring her son with?

Well you are going to have some free time this weekend, does your little one like carnivals or the beach or fireworks... something Different? You can make this kinda memorable for you two.


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Hey Eirinn, I hope your son is having a wonderful time at camp and your workshop is good.

It stinks that your H is going on a hike over the 4th but I know you will find something fun for your and your son to do.


Me44 H47
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Thread is filling up. Zephyr and Teach, I'll respond over on my new thread.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2584053&#Post2584053


M 46 / H 43
T 24/M 18
S 4
11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY
1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom
1/8/2016 H moved out

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