Hi RD, just dropping in to say Hi....hope you and those lovely kids are having a great weekend. It would be great to get an update when you get chance lovely RD...
How is your W doing since she started with her ADs? How are your interactions with her lately? Any movement at all in your sitch? What lovely GAL plans do you have??
Look forward to hearing from you my friend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Usual stuff at home kids and I have been walking most nights as the weather has been so nice We went to see Arnie strut his stuff last night in the new terminator and I toom D11 shopping earlier for presents for her besties birthday tomorrow
This afternoon we went to an airshow about 2 hours away and that was good fun.
Back home now and D's are making sausage balls and pasta and I'm making mash , carrots and fish fingers for myself and S20.
I think I have another 10 people living in the house at the moment with all the washing I'm doing !!!!! Maybe the neighbours are dropping theirs off without me knowing !
Life is ok at the moment , I m still sad over my sitch because it seems EXW is still torn but maybe I've got it wrong
On the beach today watching the Swiss air jets doing their thing it was hard to see all the couples with their kids SIGH
Not much contact with EXW She did phone me on Weds and was asking for some advice. The conv got on to the problems in the past and EXW told me the place we find ourselves in now is both our faults Invalidated but also said there was no point dwelling on the past EXW went on to say that anything was possible in the future and she did not know how it would go. Again I validated this but didn't dwell We have moved S16 into our spare room from the room his always shared with S20. The spare room was where EXW slept sometimes. We are converting the office downstairs back to a single bedroom. During call EXW asking why and I told her it was for her , she thanked me and I said no problem as it was only a matter of time until she came home I said this in a happy home and not too serious. EXW said she could not fit all her clothes in that room and I answered she would be back in my bedroom soon after she came home so no prob re her clothes. EXW laughed and said I was dreaming ! I answered no reason to ruin my dreams and she said she thought we were only joking. I laughed and changed the subject
I went out for the day yesterday and normally I would be here when EXW drops D11 home and stays for a few hours EXW called me twice , I did not answer and the. She text me to say she had worked the cats.
D14 had a chat with EXW in Thursday and EXW told her she was being called ugly by someone , D14 asked who but EXW would not say.
EXW does seem somewhat happier generally so maybe anti Ds are have some effect
Thanks again for checking in ladies Have a good evening Take care. Rd. xx
RD, nice that your W seems to be doing better. She was in a dark place before.
Now we can get back to RD. You are still sad, you are joking about her coming home, but not really. If she said tomorrow she wanted to move back, you'd take her. Am I correct my dear? Theres no wrong answer here.
You have been S just a month more than I have, but you've been through a lot of drama. It's got to be exhausting. When do you start to take care of you RD?
glad to see you updating and as always it sounds like you are doing a great job creating a warm family home for you and your kids.
And that seems really positive news about your W, hopefully the Anti-Ds are having some positive affect and she can start the climb out.
I hope wherever you went on saturday(?) was good fun and RD centric.
Sunny has already picked up on it but joking about her coming home is something to be slightly cautious of but you know the tone you used and are better placed to judge how it came across, just something to be aware of.
I possibly shouldn't ask this but i'm interested to know. how are feeling with regard to OM (or whatever he is)? This was a real source of bother for you and you seem to be hinting toward it but at the same time talking about it less, which on the face of things is good but im interested to know if its just the face of it.
Take care RD
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
Sunny. I would love to have EXW come home. The problem I see is more to do with me than her. EXW has made a few overtures about coming home which I see as temp checking I do appreciate that she has left her kids and no matter what that has to hurt. She comes into the home most days and cooks and cleans and then goes off to her other life. I'm not sure I could ever move past how' she's dealt with the situation and can't see how I could move on.
Jim. Saturday was spent looking at range rovers but most were out of my price range. Re OM , I don't let myself dwell. I do think about it and it hurts but it is what is is. EXW is still denying an R but only she knows for sure
It is on the face of it 50% of the time
I am going to write a post later to sum up I hope you get time to read it and let me know your thoughts
"I'm not sure I could ever move past how' she's dealt with the situation and can't see how I could move on."
Hi RD, I can understand you feeling this way - I feel that way myself sometimes. But the fact is people do deal with the situation and move on - whether apart or together.
I think the healing from what has happened is the most important thing in terms of our lives going forward. Getting to a place of peace about what has happened has such a bearing on our future happiness and wellbeing.
Pleased your W is feeling somewhat better. Hope you have a great day xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
What can I say...when myself is going through so much challenges right now.
I totally get what is happening to you. Your heart aches because she did and is doing all this crazy stuff to you. Your heart aches even more because she did and is doing it all to your kids.
In the same time your heart aches because it is a person you were sharing life and the most intimate talks, feelings. A R with so many years and so many kids is a naked R. And now it is all gone and destroyed.
By one hand you feel bad about what is happening and just want to be away from her and try your best to deal with the new reality you have.
By other hand you keep seeing this person miserable, destroying herself, crying every day and building up a high level of depression. You are the one that can see all this, but you are also the one that does not have any control to make things better.
So, it leaves us like some vitamin shake, it's all mixed up together, It's not bad for us, it feeds us to make ourselves better.
I understand the whole GAL just for RD that is not happening. Take Jim's situation for example, his wife is with OM and seems to be OK for now. In our situation it is always dealing with the crying, I'm unhappy, lost, I want to die, pure depression syndrome.
In the same time you know your kids, and you know that they are going through a horrible pain, that they need to cope with the destruction without even being asked if it is what they want.
So, most of the time it is easier and more enjoyable to share time and fun with the kids. It somehow fulfill our hearts with peace. We are family people and we do family stuff.
So I totally get what RD is doing. Now, RD can do some small stuff for himself. Tell us if you got a new shirt, new sunglasses. Tell us if you exercise and what it was. Tell us if you had a beer with a friend, just to chat. Tell us if you punched the pillow, if you cried.
We want to know more to learn what RD is doing to keep himself healthy, positive, content, hopeful.
I admire and love you with all my heart RD. You are an awesome person and a wonderful dad.
