"What is the #1 reason so many people are single? Why is it that we have the highest rate of singles we've ever had in America? I believe it's because deep down, we're terrified. When it comes to relationships, many singles tend to be driven by FEAR instead of FAITH. Fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of getting hurt, fear of making the wrong choice. Fear is paralyzing, and many times, it keeps us from moving forward and from experiencing love." Debra Fileta
Absolutely! Recently I have been on a hot streak with women online returning messages...six for six (and I'm remembering fondly the ones who didn't reply previously lol) I've messaged with them and each one has gone down in flames. Often I think what we may perceive as game playing etc. is really fear. It's easy to whip up a profile and watch the messages flood in. It's validating but to go further takes courage and that's often lacking. Most people, if not all, in my age bracket who are out there looking are hurting people who are trying to make sense of their relationship losses and fearful of repeating them again. Intellectually we know we want to be loved and give love but emotionally it's just terrifying! So people end up doing wacko things to each other and you sit there wondering "WTH is wrong with people?" I know I do. Anyway, I just thought I'd toss that out there...while I think of more T shirt slogans for the convention lol.
Wonka, I'm just my usual chatty self. Some just stop communicating and there's no reason I can see but that I can deal with. I'd rather a nice message saying "not a match" but hey, that's not likely to happen...so be it. Many just do strange things...like giving me a phone number but not responding to any message, suggesting that I am cheating (huh?), sending me amazing messages and then not responding when I reply. Who knows but I honestly don't think there's anything I've done. Maybe just a bad streak...who knows. It starts to wear you down though.
Wonka, here's an example...I'll use the last lady cuz it's short! I messaged her and she replied "Hi Whatis, thanks for your kind message. I've looked at your profile and am amazed at the fit I see. I'm so happy you messaged me! I'm looking forward to getting to know each other. I'll start....(tells me a bit about herself). I hope I'll hear back from you very soon. Have a great Wednesday!!!!" My response, "Hi L, happy belated birthday (she said her bd had just passed)!Thanks for your lovely message. I too am looking forward to getting to know you. I'm out tonight at bible study (yes, I really do go lol) but hopefully we can connect soon on another evening. Btw, what do you teach?" Oh, and she said she wanted a "believer" which is why I mentioned bible study ...or maybe that was "Belieber" lol. No reply ever. Weird! I moved on.
...and, not wanting to beat a dead horse, one of latest ladies last message to me was "You're so funny. I like that. Here's my cell number so we can chat more"...and that was the last I ever heard from her! So, I dunno.
Well, it seems we're on a kid theme here in Surviving...so I'll take my turn. My D18, the ""reliable" one, was accepted into University and therefore must keep an 80 average to keep her spot. Yesterday I got a call from Voldy telling me that D18 missed her exam because she thought it was at noon, not 9 am. D18 talked to the teacher and was told she was getting zero and not allowed to write it at another time. Great! D18 was at work last night and I texted her asking what time she'd be home because we needed to talk about what happened and what needed to be done. She called me from work and began crying because Voldy was telling her she was going to call the school. D18 was afraid of Voldy embarrassing her...not a crazy fear either. I told her that parents call when there is an issue and that we loved her and wanted to help in whatever way we can. I assured her that if either of us called the school we would be calm and appropriate. She was in tears. I then called Voldy and told her of our conversation and of my assurance that neither of us would embarrass her (read: Voldy). Today D18 got her marks and all her courses are barely above 80 and she can exclude the course she missed the exam for. So, it appears, she is still going to University. Does this parenting thing ever get any easier?
You know it is funny that even though both boys have moved out, I am still behind the scenes watching things. When I went to Colorado, D19 was on his first ever jury duty week. I reminded him about it before I left and showed him where to check if his number was called for duty.
Yet even when, I was gone, I got online and checked if he would get called. Nope, all the cases settled and he didn't have to go. So I still haven't let go of them, well more him, since he filled his plate so full.
But I did get to babysit last night and she was an angel. That part is easy for right now.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Guess who has a coffee date on Sunday? You guessed it, ME lol. I haven't approached any women lately but his one contacted me. D18 says "It's good that she contacted you...considering the wackos you've been contacting lately!" Uh thanks, I guess. LN7 (I'm dubbing her Lucky Number 7)and I were messaging about Latin dance (she loves it) and she said "hopefully one day we can dance together" OK, I took the hint and made the the coffee invite. I said "be careful what you hope for 'cuz you just might get it lol" So as always, we shall see. It's nice just to be able to meet someone again
That part is easy for right now.